09 May 2013
in Blog friends, Blogging, Critiques, feedback, Stuck, wordpress, Wordpress friends, Writer's frustration, Writing my book
Tags: Arts, Blog, Education, Online Writing, Poetry, reading, Writers Resources, Writing Exercises
A few people have gone through the backdoor of my blog and read some of my earlier posts. They read the things I wrote before I ever expected anyone else to find me. It is validating to get feedback for whatever we write but it is un-nerving to realize that anyone can go back and read our earlier ramblings that we wrote when we just needed a place to land. When our shelves were still pretty empty and and we were just tinkering with our blog as we built it.
I have been kind of stuck in a place in my life and so rather than writing a poem not from the heart or posting just to post… I invite you guys to go back, way back… in my archives and find me when I first began I have posted well over 200 posts so you have a lot to choose from.
Most of you started reading my ramblings…maybe 50 or so posts ago. I would love to have your feedback on some of those posts that no one ever saw. And while I am stuck… that is all I have to offer for a day or so more… Sooo go click on Yesterday’s thoughts and pick a month… I definitely have a few to choose from. *wink*wink* Thanks for understanding! Diane
05 May 2013
in Acceptance, broken heart, healing, Life Journey, Life lessons, Loss, lost loves, Love, Memories, My Book, passion, patience, Poetry, rings, trust, Wisdom, Writing my book, young love
Tags: God, Letting Go, Poetry, relationships, Romeo & Juliet, Writing
This poem is for my book that I am working on (all fiction don’t worry!)
Pieces of the Circle
True love can’t be forgotten
though years have hid it’s flame~
Lost love held inside of me
without shelter or a name
Finding me in my despair,
weary from the pain
so ready for young love
to be restored for me again
We hesitated in mid air
like a note sung by a singer~
The scent of love we used to know
somehow made us stop and linger~
Did we understand the cost
of choosing to stay or close the door?
Did we deserve to take our turn
and even ask for more?
The love inside of me grew until
I thought that I would burst
I feared that what I held dear,
by my loved ones would be cursed
The past has met the present
like waves upon the sand~
The foundation was never ready
for us to step on or to stand
We were caught inside a love story
with all the tragedy and pain
No one would ever accept our love
or allow it to remain,
like Romeo and Juliet,
like Elizabeth and Browning.
Our love was like a soaring sea
as we struggled to keep from drowning.
God became our rescuer,
The One who calms the seas.
The One who knows all of our tomorrows,
and what they all will be.
And so we rest in HIM
and put us in His care
And when we I look for true love…
I know I’ll find Him there.
*Note* This poem is stored here for future use in my book. (Previous chapters can be found here in this blog.*)
05 May 2013
in BIRTHDAY, Birthday celebration, Family, Love, My Kids, Parenting, Perspective, reflection, vegan, Vegan Recipes
Tags: Birth, Birthday, Brookie, Brookside, Grandaughter, Holidays, Home, Honey, James Dean, New Babies, Sweeteners, Vegan Recipes
Sorry that I have not been around lately! I’ve had a busy week! I always take my birthday off if it falls on a workday. That is my gift to me. But that didn’t stop my sweet friends at work from remembering me!
I am so blessed!
And then my daughter surprised me. I had planned on having a quiet birthday at home. My husband’s birthday is the day before mine and we just happened to be expecting our second granddaughter around the same time. And so Brookie called and said that she had taken the week off to come and celebrate our birthdays and hopefully be here when her brand new niece was born. So she spent the day with her dad. She made him breakfast and then they hung out all day until I got off. They went to Parkfield and ate at the James Dean little diner on the way home.
The next day I woke up to bustling in the kitchen and she made me a delicious vegan birthday breakfast.
And baked me a delicious vegan cake!
Did I raise the most thoughtful offspring or what?!
I was born on my grandma’s birthday. We always had a special relationship. There is just something very unique about sharing the same day we were both born. Over the years, I learned to appreciate our bond more and more. She called me “Honey Girl” That was her name for me. Even into my thirties, I would call her and I can’t explain just how wonderful it felt hearing her greeting “Well, hello Honey Girl”. She always sounded so happy to hear from me. I miss her more than I ever could imagine. Sometimes I still feel the urge to call her when I need a soft place to fall or just to hear her sweet voice say “Well hello Honey Girl.”
This year I got a wonderful birthday present! My 2nd granddaughter was born! And you guessed it! On my birthday!
My Son and his Daddy My Son and his new daughter
My Baby and her new niece
(I had to respect Sophia’s sweet Mama’s wishes to not be photographed quite yet~ But she is beautiful too!)
I pray that baby Sophia and I have the same special relationship that my grammy and I had! I have a new Honey Girl. I never realized that name meant so much to me until now. But I think I just may pass it down again…
So this year I say…
Happy Birthday Grandma and Happy Birthday Sophia Oh Honey Girl of mine!
I wonder if my Grandma had something to do with the date from up there in heaven?
Do ya think?
30 Apr 2013
in Country living, humor, Poetry, Sheep herding
Tags: Humor, Poetry, Sheep
On a lighter note, I just wanted to share something with you guys. This morning when I was writing, I happened to look out the window to find something that you don’t normally see in Southern California where I came from. This is when living in the country brings a smile to my face. Now… If we could just teach them the finer art of edging!
I looked out the window
and what did I see?
A hundred and two sheep
winking at me!
It was almost as if
they already knew,
that I had the same plans
as I put on my shoes…
I said “Hey you guys!”
”What do ya know?”
“You are eating the grass
I was just gonna mow!”
29 Apr 2013
in Anger, broken heart, Broken spirit, Change, change of heart, checking out, Compassion, confusion, Forgiveness, fragile, Goodbye, hope, hurts, kindness, learning, Life Journey, Life lessons, Loss, Love, Memories, Mistakes, New Day, opportunity, patience, Perspective, Poetry, Stubborn, Survivial, surviving, Time, tolerance, trust, Uncategorized, Wisdom
Tags: attitude adjustmement, Letting Go, Poetry, reflection, relationships, Self improvemnt, Survival
Like a bruise, my heart has places that…
I don’t want to touch again.
Like paint that never dries
or a story that never ends.
My mind keeps wandering back
and I get lost in the past,
then you come and wake me up
like pushing forward fast!
Snapping me right out of
the nightmare that kept me sleeping,
handing back the heart
you were holding for safe keeping.
28 Apr 2013
in Advice for artists beginning to do shows, art, art show advice for beginners, Art shows, artist, arts and crafts, Home income, Life Journey, Reminscing, whimsical, Writing
Tags: art, Children's artist, choosing to write, crafting, Greeting cards, Having to write, journey to write, My Story, Sharing my story, Sugar Plum Art Festival, The Doll Lady
In my last post I wrote a little about my life as an artist and it seemed to generate a bit of interest and so I thought I’d share some pictures and memories with you here. After I had my daughter, it was hard to imagine ever leaving her with anybody else to go to work, and my son was at an age that I didn’t want him in school all day, and so I decided that I wanted to take a crack at raising my kids as a “stay at home mom.”
And so I prayed about it
and the answer came so simply as if God came to me Himself and said “Okay.”
It really did happen just like this…
One day soon after my daughter was born…. my neighbor invited us to their little boys’ birthday barbecue. I was out on maternity leave and not making a lot of money so instead of going out and buying a present, I painted a picture of her little boys in a bath tub for the gift. Personalizing it with their hair color and their names on towels hanging on the tub. Unbeknownst to me, she took that painting to work with her that Monday to show it to some friends and came back with 40 custom orders! Wahlah. THAT is actually how I began. Isn’t God great? How could anyone not believe? He even used one of HIS numbers: forty! Must I even repeat this? How could I not believe that He had answered my prayers?
When I was a kid my mom did arts shows as a hobby for extra spending money. Though it ended up being quite a little business for her. She began having an annual boutique at our house that lasted several years and I remember that she let me try to sell some of my doodlings at a few of them. Back then, I drew pictures of kids at a bus stop. I honestly can’t remember if I sold any. I actually think I may have sold a few. I liked to draw and my dad told me that I was pretty good. Besides the poems that I wrote as a teenager, and the little doodles that I sketched, I never really felt very artistic .
When I first started doing shows, I just focused on the paintings and then I (am dating myself now but…) I started making “Mop Dolls” and even got a rep and sold them wholesale to Longs Drug Stores for a while!
The first show I did was pitiful, I had gotten in by default. There was a waiting list a mile long and because I knew the president of the Art Association I slipped in at the last minute when one of the artists broke her ankle. I was not very prepared and had no idea what I was doing. I didn’t have a very good display and only sold children’s paintings and then sold just a few at that… I was so disappointed but I wanted to learn from it and so I walked around that show, and noted what the busy booths did differntly and the ones that were selling out had more than just ceramics or paintings, they had a variety of things.
So…the same show the next year, I didn’t just sell children’s paintings, but I also sold dolls, ornaments, baskets, etc. I’d learned by then that just selling one media didn’t work for me and I was right, I made $1000 the first hour at the same show the following year, selling a bunch of different things! Though looking back, I think that I went overboard creating, without a real good focus. Though I did stay whimsically related which was good. I think I needed to reel it in just a bit. Today my advice would be to choose a few things you do well and stick with what you do best.
One of my first shows ~(You can kind of see my paintings on the right in the 1st picture and the mop dolls sitting on the bottom shelf on the 2nd picture)
Some of my first shows and creations are what I like to call “Early Diane” and I have to say they were a little embarrassing. I had a booth at a place called Crafter’s Guild and slowly started doing different art/craft shows and building up my own following of customers.
Brookie standing outside of Crafter’s Guild with my scarecrows as their display and a picture of my booth.
Some shows were pretty sad with poor advertising and not a lot of customers. But ALL of them generated something great! Whether it was new friends or networking about new shows, I never looked at a “bad” show as a waste of time. I met my “wood guy” at a show where I sold one thing and I look back at that show as one of my best because I snagged such a good find! He was this wonderful old man named Wayne who would make me whatever I asked him to and deliver them to my door. His wife used to joke that she wanted to come with him to deliver and he wouldn’t let her. She told me that he would put on his after shave just for me! He was so cute! Wow, I haven’t thought of him for so long. He was the BEST!
My suggestion before signing up for a show, is to go attend it as a customer first! Walk around and don’t only notice how many people are there but how many of them are buying?? The shows I used to do always had a line at the doors to get in and more at the cash registers to check out. Another good piece of advice is to google the reviews. In this day and age with technology at our finger tips… it is easy to find the reviews on shows and read them all, from both a customer’s and artist’s persepective. But actually getting in your car and going is your very best measuring stick! Talk to the artists and see how their mood seems, ask if they have done the show before and if they would do it again. Try to talk to more than just a few! There is always one bad attitude in every bunch and you don’t want to judge everything based off of one sour faced answer. Also look around and notice how much competition you may have.. If you make hand crafted things, don’t just ask someone who is selling manufactured items their opinion of the show. You get the idea. (See Sugar Plum’s facebook video below~ I promise it will be worth your time.)
When I first started doing shows, I’d do about a dozen a year until I settled into a juried Festival in Southern California where I lived, called Sugar Plum. http://www.sugarplumfestivals.com/#
It was such a wonderful find that I ended up giving up all of my other shows and only doing Sugar Plum about five times a year.The rest of the year I would spend getting ready for the next upcoming one. It was such fun. I ended up getting the job of “setting up” the General Store which was their blended area. The other artists who were also assigned this job, worked late into the wee hours of the morning with me, displaying all the wonderful items that several different artists earmarked for the General Store. And together, we made a magical shopping place that actually looked like a General Store filled with treasures and all of our creations! When we would finish we had a tradition of walking over to the Denny’s across the parking lot for coffee and a late night visit before slipping into our hotels and getting about 4 hours sleep before we had to be back to help open the next morning! Though it was a lot of work. I never would have missed a single minute of any of it!
My garage Getting ready for a Sugar Plum Show!
I began using overalls and kid’s clothes to make scarecrows and themed dolls and my husband made a choir stand like display for my dolls so that I could keep them away from the saw dust. I became known as “The doll lady” because when I had my garage door opened people would stop and want to buy them right off of their shelf! Somedays I could make “grocery money” for the week!
My dolls became a hit in the local neighborhoods that loved to decorate for Christmas! There was one called Sleepy Hollow in a Southern Neighborhood in Torrance, near Redondo Beach. One day a w0man came to a show at The Torrance Rec Center and wiped me out. She bought about a dozen of my dolls on the spot! Here is a picture of her front yard. Needless to say she won the competition that year and many years after! She would build a glass house with a life size santa sitting in a sleigh and she put all of my critters around as part of the scene. I was so honored that she chose my designs to be a part of her Award Winning display each year!
You can “kind of” see all my elves sitting around the sleigh…
Soon my paintings became cards and in the beginning I cringe at some of my Early Dianes that I produced without help. But slowly my husband got involved and learned about a technique called sublimation and for a while started having my artwork printed on mugs and tiles and shirts.
I still did a few dolls… but here was a new display after my husband got involved….
My trademark look was a “Holly Hobby” kind of whimsical angel with falling down socks and patches on their wings. I started writing poetry again to go with them and soon my cards began out selling my dolls! Each customer would grab a few and a few added up to great big checks and I had a great little business.
Around that time… my daughter asked me If I had imagined her when I was her age and I began to write my answer to her in way of a book called: ”Did You Imagine Me” Which my Dad produced for me! I still have a few left for sale in my Etsy shop.
Diane Reed Reed on Etsy
When we moved to Central California, I still tried to do my shows but when we opened our store “Rose In The Woods” I tried to keep up with Sugar Plum and did for a while, but it was hard working all day and producing enough to make it worth doing the shows and so I slowly retired. Though a few of my friends would occasionally host a little home botique for me. Until I finally sold the rest of my inventory in my store and called it a day.
After the earthquake and the loss of our store. A lot of things changed pretty fast. But it is nice to be able to look back and see the blessings that have come along the way since a time in my life that I only saw devastation. Though I finally had to get a real job and today I work at a beautiful spa in a resort setting and it is a pretty nice place to work, if I have to. I have to admit that I complain from time to time and seem to constantly worry about the bills during this transition in our life, I have learned some much needed lessons about appreciating the important things in life through the different set backs. Lessons I know that I might have missed without the ups and downs we have survived. And….For a long time, my art studio sat empty until my husband took it over for his office after losing his job. And I am praying that he will be using it very soon! due to some blessings God is working out for him!
Recently, my daughter got the creative bug after we visited a Sugar Plum Show during one of my LA trips when I came to see her. We’d received one of their post cards and decided to make a date of it. She had great memories of going and helping me set up from the time she was a baby and so we each took a best friend and I must say it was like magic! The owners of Sugar Plum embraced us with so much love and it was so fun seeing all my old friends. I was secretly hoping that I wouldn’t miss doing the shows and it all would be just a happy memory but I have to admit that I missed everything about the entire package from the very minute when I walked in that door. I hadn’t done a show for ten years and it was kind of like withdrawal…. The smells, the energy, all drew me back in like an addict! My daughter excitedly talked me into doing one last show with her. So I set up my art studio again, this time in our guest room since my daughter had moved out and we now had two guest rooms to speak of. It was fun fixing up a new little place to create and for a while it felt as if the magic had come back. (Maybe someday I will write a book about how to have a successful art business including the dos and the don’ts about art shows and investments. I sure have learned enough to fill all the pages of at least one!)
A little fuzzy but you get the picture…
I made one last effort…but did it in a smaller version than before… Later, I heard that people still were looking for my larger holiday dolls so I probably should have stuck to what I knew best but didn’t have that kind of time so I tried something new. (Big mistake!) Once again my cards did well… but nothing as great as in the old days! I’d lost my following a decade earlier for the most part and I just wasn’t in a place to invest the time to build it back up again. I needed insurance and benefits and need to stick with my job for the time being. But it was a happy memory doing a show with my daughter, the once little toddler that had proudly showed off her bright red ears to anyone who would look.. the day she got her ears pierced and we had to go to Sugar Plum right afterwards, when she was three. It was so fun to go back with her again, and have them all remember her little pink ears and see her all grown up.
Remember that little girl at Crafter’s Guild? (Brookie with her honey that helped her at one of her many shows last year!)
We did end up doing a Sugar Plum together a few years ago. It was so fun doing it with my baby! But it was a lot of work. And It really was my last show (I think) But it got her started doing shows while it made me realize that everything has a season… I was happy to pass the baton to my baby. And she has soared. She has done many shows since and has far surpassed me in her own Etsy shop! http://www.etsy.com/shop/thenakedbird
A Naked Bird of course!
She also has a blog here http://thenakedbird.wordpress.com She made me the cutest little Writing Mouse typing on her typewriter!
Sure… dub me the proud mama! I’ll take it! There is nothing better when your kids follow your footsteps. It seems as if I followed my mom and so it is kind of cool. And the funny thing is I knew my daughter was a great actress and writer but who knew she had such an imagination and was such an amazing artist?! But she went to LA to pursue acting and is well on her way so has also had to put away her brushes for now… But every now and then will get an order from her Etsy shop!
So Anyway… I traded in my art studio
for a writing studio
and never looked back… till today…
Today I really am fine just writing. I don’t miss the mess and the shows and the set up one little bit…. well maybe… a teensie weensie, tiny bit!
Just remember…. a paintbrush can paint magic…. as our words can become art to the ones who take the time to see their beauty!
27 Apr 2013
in Appreciation, Blog friends, Blogging, Life Journey, Poetry, Publishing, reflection, Self affirmation, Thank you, Time, wordpress, Wordpress friends, Writing
A girl I work with shared with me that she reads my blog. I sometimes forget that it is posted automatically on my Facebook page and that people who I actually “know” read it as well. And I have to admit that it warmed my heart. It is hard to explain how validating it is to know that someone takes time out of their day, to care what I have to say. Unless of course you are also a writer and in that case, I KNOW you understand!
I write because I have to. I can’t imagine not writing now. I’ve put it on the shelf for far too long. Always needing to create in some way. I had an art studio for years, did art shows and made a living doing them. I guess I just got tired of doing the shows cuz they really were hard work. Though they will always remain some of my most wonderful memories and where I met some of my most cherished friends.
Writing really is no different. I just don’t have as big of a mess to clean up or brushes to rinse out…
But the connection is the same. My artist friends “GOT” me. We got each other. As an artist, I used to have a following. I had customers at each show that would come and seek me out. I also had artist friends that GOT me. We would set up our booths together and then break them down. It was funny, we used to laugh about how our customers would show up without having a clue what it took to create our shows. The lugging the tubs and displays back and forth was just something we did behind the scenes. When our customers finally got there, the only thing that they saw was a magical place to shop
Though it was a lot of work, I always looked forward to seeing them again and hanging out with those who understood my passion, and also stayed up late into the wee hours creating.
Lets face it, we want to hang out with those who get us. And…. that is why I hang out here! You guys are like getting to go to a Writer’s Conference everyday!Though, I sooo want to go to one someday… actually, to as many as I can! Education and continued classes are great and have their place but I hear that you really get down to the nitty gritty at the conferences with published authors and agents. I have mentioned a writers hang out in my metaphoric posts, inviting everyone to a coffee shop in my imagination and it warms my heart just thinking of you all there in my dreams.
Sometimes, I get home and just want to relax, by tapping away on my laptop and signing onto my blog to find you guys and share what we have all written. I don’t know about you, but not a lot of my friends GET my need to write, let alone the time I invest on my blog. But then, the same ones really didn’t understand when I would stay up late working on my dolls or illustrations.
So this one is for you. All my friends and family who take the time to actually read what I write. The ones who understand what I am talking about.
For My Friends Who Read My Words
What I Have To Say
Inside my heart you reside
in that place of understanding,
the windowseat of my soul,
the sofa by the fire with the throw
that comfortable spot
only you will ever know
you want to read what I have written
You click on my newest words
in true anticipation and you fill me like a cup.
you come here without prodding
with your words…
I feel you nodding….
You are my friends
We meet at different times of the day
slipping in with the sunrise
Knowing that you care about
what I have to say
22 Apr 2013
in Poetry, Time, Depression, Life Journey, Life lessons, Appreciation, healing, Gratefulness, God's word, Attitudes, tolerance, patience, kindness, prayer, Wisdom, change of heart, change of attitude, temper, frustration, Anger, whimsical, scriptures, worry, hurts, attitudes about your job, humor
Tags: God, Joy, Samson, Cinderella, Prince, Lord, The Lord is My Strength (A Portal book), Hot tub, Laughter
I have been working a lot lately, so when I come home, I just kind of zonk out and recently have not been writing too much. But I had to share this one that came to me the other day while I was at work (of course ~ since I’m always there!)
Have you ever been in a funk and totally zoned out? Perhaps standing in a line at a register waiting to be checked out, and a baby catches your eye and smiles at you? In a split second, you are transported to a place of innocent joy between you and that smiling baby. You smile back only to receive an even bigger smile. At that moment, nothing else matters, not bills, being late for an important date, or even what has you really worried. It is as if God Himself, reached down to hug you. The innocent exchange reminds you of bigger things. Maybe even a glimpse of a speck of what heaven will be like. Nothing but innocent joy.
The other day I was ouside at work. Even though I work in a beautiful piece of God’s country where squirrels scamper just inches away and birds sing to me as I do my job, I feel a bit like Cinderella having to clean out the chimney, (in my case tubs) waiting for my Prince to rescue me.
(after all of my work… they look like this…)
I have to climb up and down hills all day long, and under hot tubs that might have snakes and spiders where I have to go. And I have to admit that I don’t always stop to smell the flowers as I head under each tub.
I asked God to give me something profound as I walked around the other day in a particular funk. And I amost heard His voice as He gave me:
“The joy of the Lord is my strength”.
Wow!! It was such an intense and fast answer that it brought quick tears to my eyes. I asked for more and was given the vision of how I love to make people laugh. Particularly people who I respect, like my dad or a person that I place a little above myself. And I realized that laughter translates into joy and giving joy is empowering. Hence; maybe the same goes for the meaning of strength in the verse God gave to me? I pondered a bit more. (Funny how if you stay focused, God will talk to you as long as you talk back and sometimes even when you don’t!) I realized that desiring to give God JOY is my strength. When I know that I know that I know that my heart is only wanting to make God “laugh” or make Him proud or happy, I am as strong as Samson!
I have been feeling blue lately and disappointed by people. From the time I was young I’ve had a habit of looking up to people; Teachers, Politicians, men and women of God. And ultimately have discovered that they are all human. And unfortunately, all eventually succumb to pride and prejudice in their own ways. And maybe that is a good thing. Because when I start to admire someone too much, I usually am disappointed. I have just begun to learn that it is not fair to them. No one is ever going to not disappoint me. No one but God that is. And so my focus should be finding my strength in His joy!
A black cloud followed me
as I walked out my front door.
Grumbling, I got in my car
thinking I couldn’t take much more!
The day seemed to move slowly
and it lasted way too long,
counting the hours, I wondered
what else could possibly go wrong?
Suddenly I realized
I hadn’t started out in prayer.
Nor invited YOU my Lord
to follow me anywhere…
And so I stopped everything
as I bowed my head to pray,
finally inviting You
into what was left of my long day.
Funny how the traffic didn’t seem
to bother me anymore,
and when I stopped to pick up groceries
a stanger held my door.
And I knew you’d heard my prayer
after standing in line a while,
when that baby caught my eye
and gave me the biggest smile!
That’s when I knew YOU gave to me,
a sample of YOUR grace,
and showed me that the Joy of the Lord
truly is my strength!
16 Apr 2013
in Anger, Attitudes, Broken spirit, character, confusion, courage, earthquakes, Heroes, tragedies
Tags: Boston, Boston Marathon, Evil, Heroes, Patton Oswalt
We don’t know why bad things happen,
our hearts can’t begin to touch the pain.
Some things seem just so senseless,
as we are left with nothing but disdain.
And yet we find the heroes
in the darkest times of trouble,
they seem to rise above the rest
amidst the broken rubble.
They make us believe in good again,
they make us want to fight!
Through the blackest part of dark,
they help us see the light.
Here’s to all those souls
that run into unknown danger,
those ones we now call heroes
who once to us were strangers.
After 911 I was positive that the blast I heard outside of our little store in 2003, was a bomb. In fact, I had no doubt. At the time, we were in the midst of all the Terrorist scares and it never occurred to me that it was anything else. Though it happened to be an earthquake that rocked our little town and destroyed our building, killing two women as they ran out of the store next to ours. They were found between our car (that my daughter had asked to wait in) and another. I will forever be grateful that my daughter decided to come inside that day and help me open. (But that is another story that you can find on my ABOUT page here on my post.) The thing that I want to touch on today is not the tragedies themselves, man-made or natural disasters, but the heroes that rise from them. When I finally got out of my store after the earthquake and had been reunited with my family, I ran over to my car where strangers were pulling bricks off of it and cried out to them, “Oh thank you so much but there is no one in that car!” That memory still brings grateful tears as I thank God for all the choices that were made that day that saved my daughter.
The thing that I remember most about that day, is how all of the strangers band together. Neighboring merchants became family as did the customers that had been there. Years later, there still is an unspoken bond that seems hard to break. I will never forget all the bonding that went on in our local park that day, as we waited for instructions for what would come next. But even more, are those heroes that ran into the dust trying to save the trapped and hurt. Funny how character really seems to kick in during those horrific times.
I write this for all the unsung heroes that may never know the ones they saved the day their hearts just kicked into gear. I am grateful that those men pulling bricks off of my car didn’t save my daughter that day because she was not in it. But God forbid, they may have… and I know that their hearts were out to save anybody in need that day.
I saw “that” same kind of courage in the Boston clips. The ones running towards danger… the ones putting their lives on the line for total strangers!
I think one of the most moving statements that I have read so far has come from comedian Patton Oswalt’s Facebook page. He is typically known for his sardonic, witty posts about current events, but I think he said it better than anyone else here :
“I remember, when 9/11 went down, my reaction was, ‘Well, I’ve had it with humanity, ”But I was wrong. I don’t know what’s going to be revealed to be behind all of this mayhem. One human insect or a poisonous mass of broken sociopath. But here’s what I DO know. If it’s one person or a HUNDRED people, that number is not even a fraction of a fraction of a fraction of a percent of the population on this planet. You watch the videos of the carnage and there are people running TOWARDS the destruction to help out … So when you spot violence, or bigotry, or intolerance or fear or just garden-variety misogyny, hatred or ignorance, just look it in the eye and think, ‘The good out number you, and we always will.” Patton Oswalt
Bottom line is that GOOD outweighs evil. Always!
14 Apr 2013
in Renewal, Survivial, worship
Tags: Poetry, Spiritual
I remember the pain I was in
when I was just a girl
already hurt by broken things
in the corners of my world.
Though I always seemed to find HIM
in those earlier days
on lots of mountain top highs
where we’d lift our hands in praise.
And even though I did some backsliding
I always found power in HIS name
And through HIS blood upon a hill
I am forever changed!
12 Apr 2013
in Critiques, Editing, Friends from Blogging, lyrics, Music Teacher, Original song writing, Song writing, Teacher, Uncategorized
Tags: Finding Diane Original Music, Live Music Sample, Our song
I met a friend here through my blog. His name is Jim. He is a musician and a teacher. He kind of came in through the back door and started reading my blog from the beginning. It was terribly flattering and sometimes annoying. He started commenting on things I had written, never really figuring anyone but me might ever see. I mean, we have all been there... no one following or LIKING what we have written. But then, slowly we venture out and start reading other blogs and networking and we get read. When that started happening, I have to admit that I was more careful, trying to write as if others might see it. But "earlier" the ones this new follower of mine were commenting on were the early Diane stuff that I wrote for fun. So a correction here or there saying something didn't make sense made me think... Well of course it didn't. Only I know what i meant, and I wrote it for me... Especially punctuation. I am going to have to buy that someday I know!!! But then.... slowly I began looking forward to his critiques. Some brought me to tears cuz he GOT me so... others still a little annoying... though I began to learn from him. Really learn.
Now, I GET where he is coming from. He is a teacher.
I held my breath when he started reading my chapters. My book is like my baby. And he shredded it! But then once he got past the punctuation and sentence structure and read the content, he actually begain liking and commenting on my book. (Granted, the conversations need more work) and other people helping edit (My good friend Paul namely) have taught me a lot! So when Jim wrote a song inspired by my chapters and that they touched him enough to do so... you can imagine the heart strings he has pulled. Here is the melody he has gifted me with. In turn, I have attempted to give him an offering of words to hopefully become it's lyrics, but in the meantime here is our song. Please visit his blog and tell him your thoughts. I would be so grateful. Thank you for your time....
My usual pictures not needed here. His music is worth a thousand pictures! See if you don't agree...
11 Apr 2013
in Appreciation, Attitudes, Family, Gratefulness, lessons learned, Life Journey, Love, marriage, Memories, reflection, Survivial
Tags: Poetry, Revelation
At the risk of sounding like an old country song… this one’s for my husband… I’m proud of you babe! I BELIEVE in you! I miss you!
This one’s for you……..
Went to church with a broken heart and two kids,
wondering if anyone would ever love me again
and then you did.
Saw you up there in the front, leading songs,
my heart beat a little faster after that first date we went on.
Seems so long ago since those days when we first met,
if I’d been a gambler, I might not have taken that bet.
And yet twenty years later we seem to have survived,
in-between lots of heart break our love’s still alive!
I’ve become a grandma
a Papa to our kid’s kids.
After I thought no one would love me again…
09 Apr 2013
I am reblogging Brooke's Blog here! Please read and support her. She's got some fun recipes to share. Please join me and FOLLOW her on her blogging journey.
09 Apr 2013
in Healthy Living, Recipes, vegan, Vegan Recipes
Tags: attitude adjustmement, Humor, Self improvemnt, Unique recipes for the vegan lifestyle, Vegan Recipes
(Caution… this is going to be kind of a Mama’s brag book kind of post!)
I was saving my 200th post for something special.
I can’t imagine anything better than sharing it with my baby! My daughter has recently embraced being Vegan and I am so proud of her for being passionate about what she embraces in life, she does nothing without a dramatic flare. She loves whatever she loves with all of her might ~ and inspires me every day.
Before she moved to: LA, I was sure she was going to be a writer! She won many awards and wrote for our local town’s magazine. Her Prinicipal came into her math class in her Junior year of High School to thank her in front of everyone for an article she had written about him! She was good. Very good. She wrote a children’s book as one of her English assignments and made her teacher cry. When he found out that she was connected with Elizabeth Barrett Browning through our ancestory line, he gifted her with a first edition book of poems she had written. She made an impact on all the adults in her life through her writing. But at the same time she fell in love with acting. She was always being chosen to give speeches in Elementary School and later was hooked when a few Drama teachers took her under their wings. After that, she never looked back! She played Abbey in Arsenic and Old Lace her Junior Year and was hooked!
(Brooke on the left)
Though she loves to write, drama was her focus and she moved back to LA to pursue acting. And she I know she is on her way! But as a proud mama, I can’t help but support her as she writes about her journey. Recently, discovering vegan recipes has become a new passion for her and I have encouraged her to begin blogging about it. (Gotta get that writing back in there somehow!) And so she has! And so… how could I not support her by offering up my 200th blog for her new endeavors?
Please support her with me and FOLLOW her search for the best recipes. She is my little Rachel Rae!
So if you love me… please click here : (no pressure lol)
I have provided the link to her blog here but I am also going to reblog it.
Thanks again guys! Gotta support my kid’s writing!
08 Apr 2013
in answers, Attitudes, Believing in yourself, Broken spirit, Child within, Confidence, Determination, emotional abuse, ephifanies, Forgiveness, fragile, Goals, Gratefulness, growing older, healing, honesty, hope, hurts, Inner Child, learning, lessons learned, patience, Perseverance, Poetry, process, reflection, Reminscing, Renewal, Self affirmation, self worth, surviving, Time, Wisdom
Tags: Childhood memories, Depression, faith, Goals, Healing, Hope, Letting Go, Poetry, self evaluation
Soooo remember that song that I was trying to write the lyrics to? A while back a musician friend of mine, Jim
wrote a melody, indicating that he was inspired by the chapters from my book (Pieces of the circle) that I am writing and shared some chapters here. He titled the piece Finding Diane and basically told me that it might be therapy for me to come up with the words. HOW long has it taken me?
I think we started in February. I must say that it has been quite a project. If you have followed me at all… you may have gone to my friend Jim’s archives (above) and listened to the melody. It is epic! I have come up with several lines via original poems that I have posted here separately. I wanted to see how it flowed if I put them all together. So that is what I have done here today. The cadence is off a bit in a few areas because they were written as separate poems, but it surprised me just how well 3 separate individual attempts seemed to all flow together. I have left out the pictures which have sort of become my trademark to enhance the words I write. (Though if you want to read them with pictures they are listed all separately in my archives.) Though the poems do sound better separately, it surprised me how they worked together.
Anyway, I don’t expect him to finish our song anytime soon since he is a teacher and has other projects going but he was right. It was therapy and so I title this Finding Diane. If nothing else… the title is coming true!
The song will not require as many lines as are here (way more than he needs) he will need to cut out words here and there and only take the lines that will work… but at least I have given him something to play with for now. I finally feel found!
Well maybe one picture…..
I hear a song and my heart flies away,
I want to snatch it back for it’s gone to yesterday.
The melody wraps around my heart,
though in my head I keep playing the part.
No one can know the pain that I feel,
over a fantasy now, that seems unreal.
And so I pretend that nothing is wrong,
as I try to block out the tune in our song.
But the melody lingers as I push replay,
and wander back into my heart still there, in yesterday.
I dance in the flames as I fall into step
trying to miss the places that made you upset.
The memories make me jump higher and higher,
I feel the sting as I dance past the fire.
The tears bring back the pain that I’d put away,
spinning back into the melody of yesterday.
Like a butterfly trapped, still inside its cocoon,
I dance through my mind running from each room.
As I close the door, where you live in my mind,
I find the part of me that I left behind.
Just like a jewelry box dancer trapped in a box
my heart is inside with the key and its lock.
I had to come back to this place, always heard whispering in my ear…
Oh little girl, somehow I knew I’d still find you here.
Among the memories waiting, wondering if I was coming back
to find the child I left long ago forgotten in my past.
I gather you up and hold you close as we walk through the rooms of our soul,
pieces of you and me once broken, healing and becoming whole.
Looking inside from the child within, I see all the pain you must feel.
Knowing that we must tend to each wound before we truly begin to heal.
We walk through the lonely places that once held our yesterdays
Oh how I wished I’d protected you in so many different ways.
And yet I know that through the hurting, we’ve gained strength in what we’ve learned.
In all the lessons remembered, in all the times once burned,
in every tear we ever cried, and every broken heart,
in every time we were in a crowd, and felt a million miles apart.
we built the walls around our heart and “they” never saw us cry.
We learned that fighting to survive was what we had to do
and so I lost the biggest part of me the day when I lost you.
It’s hard to face the ugly truth and really look inside,
to know I left you all alone, living with the hurts and lies.
You were the child inside of me and I failed you the most,
in the mistakes I made along the way, in the different paths I chose.
But I’ve come back to find you, to finally bring you home.
So that together we can learn to live and never be alone!
I want to find the kid inside, and heal the pain we knew.
I want to learn to love the me, that I forgot to love in you!
And so as I pack up all your things, I have hope in what will be…
As I learn to love you more…
Cuzzzz after all you’re ME!
(Hey and Jim try to look past the punctuation errors! LOL)
04 Apr 2013
in abusive relationships, Acceptance, Believing in yourself, broken heart, Broken spirit, Child within, Compassion, Everyone's own story, healing, honesty, hope, hurts, Inner Child, Life Journey, Life lessons, Loss, Love, Memories, Perseverance, Perspective, Poetry, process, reflection, Self affirmation, self awareness, self worth
Tags: Going Back For The Inner Child In All Of Us, Healing, Healing The Inner Child, Inner Child Inside
I had to come back to this place
always heard whispering in my ear
Oh Little girl, somehow I knew
I’d still find you here.
Among the memories waiting
wondering if I was coming back
to find the child I left long ago
forgotten in my past.
I gather you up and hold you close
as we walk through the rooms of our soul
Pieces of you and me once broken,
healing and becoming whole.
Looking inside from the child within
I see all the pain you must feel.
Knowing that we must tend to each wound
before we truly begin to heal.
We walk through the lonely places
that once held our yesterdays
oh how I wished I’d protected you
in so many different ways.
And yet I know that through the hurting,
we’ve gained strength in what we’ve learned.
In all the lessons remembered,
in all the times once burned.
In every tear we ever cried,
and every broken heart,
in every time we were in a crowd,
and felt a million miles apart.
We learned to hold the truth inside
and somehow we got by,
we built the walls around our heart
and “they” never saw us cry.
We learned that fighting to survive
was what we had to do,
and so I lost the biggest part of me
the day when I lost you.
It’s hard to face the ugly truth
and really look inside,
to know I left you all alone,
living with the hurts and lies.
You were the child inside of me
and I failed you the most.
In the mistakes I made along the way,
in the different paths I chose~
But I’ve come back to find you,
to finally bring you home!
So that together we can learn to live
and never be alone!
I want to find the kid inside,
and heal the pain we knew.
I want to learn to love the me,
that I forgot to love in you!
And as I pack up all your things,
I have hope in what will be…
As I learn to love you more…
Cuzzzz after all you’re ME!
03 Apr 2013
in Appreciation, Music Teachers, Musicians, Old Movies, technical talk
Tags: Friendship, Goals, midlife crisis, Mr. Holland's Opus, Musicians, reflection, self evaluation
This is my Musician friend's blog who surprised me with a melody attached to my book I am still in the process of finishing. At first I wasn't so sure what he was all about... He is very honest, sometimes painfully so... He came in the backdoor and critiqued my posts from the beginning to almost the end. (I have almost 200 so gotta give the guy a lot of credit and a little break! Smile.) He praised some and constructively shredded others. And oh how I have learned. Some kicking and screaming but I mean when someone just reads one post, it is validating! But several at a time, commenting on each and every one, well that feels amazing! Even when he challenged me to do better! Anywaaay~ now I am positive I have found my very own Mr. Holland! (Remember Mr. Holland's Opus?)
I don't think he gets enough recognition for his talent so just wanted to share his blog with you.
02 Apr 2013
in abusive relationships, Anger, Broken spirit, Goodbye, Loss, Love, Poetry, Relationships, self worth
Tags: Letting Go, Poetry, reflection, relationships
I built everything so high,
they had to fall down~
“My dreams” are now broken pieces
covering the ground~
I hear your voice shouting
“Just pick them up!”
till down on my knees
my heart says…
I found this one in my DRAFTS just waiting for pictures…
02 Apr 2013
in dancing, healing, lost loves, Love, Memories, Poetry, young love
Tags: Dance, Letting Go, Poetry, reflection
Please read the end note when you finish the poem!
I dance in the flames as I fall into step ~
Trying to miss the places that made you upset~
The memories make me jump higher and higher~
I feel the sting as I dance past the fire~
The tears bring back the pain that I’d put away,
spinning back into the melody of yesterday~
Like a butterfly trapped, still inside it’s cacoon~
I dance through my mind running from each room~
as I close the door, where you live in my mind,
I find the part of me that I left behind.
Just like a jewelry box dancer trapped in a box
my heart is inside with the key and it’s lock.
Before you get too concerned. I have a friend who is reading my book (Has read almost my whole blog) and has written a song that we both have been working on. I was supposed to do the lyrics and believe me I thought it would be a piece of cake. I had written songs before with others who wrote the music and I wrote the words, and it had come so easily. But this one was not so easy. I think because I have been stuck at the end of my book not really knowing how to finish it, I was stuck in the writing of the song process. I am not saying that I have found the perfect words yet but the well has opened and I am finding inspiration again. The book is about certain things and my recent poems are as well. Don’t worry about me being stuck in the past… smile…. I may write about it as I continue working on my book because I have thought about including a poem before each chapter so I am just working on ideas. I am writing about yesterday but standing in today. I promise!
To sample my friend Jim’s piece that he wrote I have shared his link to his blog that you may find inspiring. He is very talented. His song is called Finding Diane…. (Even though I am writing my book in fictional form, and so it would be Finding Keri ) I love it so much! This is actually the ending… maybe he will post the whole song soon…. http://nostolencatpictures.com/2013/03/31/music-theory-0031/#more-2804 It would be fun if you would stop by and LIKE his blog. He has some great posts in his archives as well as the beginning to this song! Thanks guys!
29 Mar 2013
in Attitudes, change of attitude, Compassion, faith, God, Gratefulness, humility, Miracles, patience, Perseverance, Perspective, Poetry, prayer
Tags: Gratitude, Hope, Letting Go, Poetry, reflection, Revelation, self evaluation
Perspective is such a great thing to consider! But it is all relative.
I am blessed. Though we lost a prospering store in 2003, we were given the “opportunity” to be able to open up a restaurant shortly after that. Well, That was a joke. Due to a very mismatched partnership (don’t get me started!!!) We lost the last of our nest egg and were like 20 year olds starting all over again from the beginning. We went about getting ”REAL” jobs and until last year when my husband was laid off, we were sitting pretty fat and happy without missing much of a beat except that I had to work for someone else which is something I promised myself that I would never do again. Though… I have gone back on my word with myself on many occasions lately so what the heck~
Most recently, my husband has been working with his dad on a project that has been a lifelong one they began many years ago when they used to work together. Since being laid off last year, my husband has stepped on board again and it looks as if things are going to take off for them. It is an amazing environmental project which basically takes toxic waste or waste in general, ( it can be plastic, wood, tires, you name it) and turns it into bio char for farming or energy, etc. I BELIVE in what they are doing, and with so much interest in the environment recently, it has gotten a lot of positive recognition. I know that in God’s timing it will all come together. But in the meantime, we are living on my paycheck and his unemployment. It has defintely been an awakening. This month, we have come to the end of the line. I have managed to pay all of our bills on time, for all of this time. But next month is going to be tricky. We are going to have to start picking and choosing bills to pay.
For the first time in years, since the earthquake, I am living in a place of genuine faith. God has answered recent prayers about health and other personal things and so I know HE is a God of miracles! I have watched other fellow bloggers live their lives in faith and I know it can be done. But I can’t say that I have always been such a good sport about all of this. It is all relative, but if you don’t have it… money becomes more important. And yet I keep trying to tell myself it is character building. Though all you prayer warriors out there, I would appreciate prayer! And I thank you ahead of time because I know I will blogging about a miracle soon!
So anyway, as I was wallowing in my own problems, I read today’s post from my sweet friend whose blog name is : free penny press:
Talk about perspective! I thought it was a wonderful reminder that it is not all about me! Feeding ourselves on $1.50 a day…. it made me think! I get so caught up in “needing” always wanting a miracle… and usually getting many. God is good and so generous. He always come through in the end, even when I ask for more.
Oh Lord,I’ve found myself
on a pretty selfish path,
forgetting to be grateful
for everything I have~
Making my prayer time,
all about me and what I need~
Losing my perspective,
consumed by my own greed~
Today… I want to thank you
for the GRACE you’ve given me!
Not seeing my flaws
that I know you might have seen.
May I be reminded
just what I’m asking for
when I forget and come to You
asking for a little more.
Diane Reed 2013
27 Mar 2013
in broken heart, Everyone's own story, Fantasy, fragile, Goodbye, hurts, lost loves, Love, Poetry, young love
Tags: Letting Go, Poetry, reflection
I hear a song
and my heart flies away~
I want to snatch it back
for it’s gone to yesterday.
The melody wraps
around my heart,
though in my head
I keep playing the part~
No one can know
The pain that I feel,
over a fantasy
now, that seems unreal~
And so I pretend
that nothing is wrong,
as I try to block out
the tune in that song.
But the melody lingers
as I push replay,
and wander back into my heart
(Don’t worry… just editing my book, wandering back into yesterday… Gotta do it to get to the last chapter! )
24 Mar 2013
in aging, Attitudes, generaton gap, humility, humor
Tags: aging, generation gap, Humor, opinion poll
I had to cut and paste this article from Huffington today. I rarely go there to read much anymore because it always seems so negative and yet I do enjoy some of the writers on there and so if I see something that pops up when I turn on my computer, I will skim it. Well, this article caught my eye and I thought I’d share it. It was written by a gal named Shelley Emling who informs us that she IS over 50. Though when I finished it and read the annoyed responses, I could not help but agree with them. See if you agree…. I responded and immediately started getting faved in less than a minute or so which I thought was funny. Just thought I’d share to get your take on this article. My response is at the end.
Editor, Post 50GET UPDATES FROM Shelley Emling
Words Never To Say When You’re Over 50 Posted: 03/22/2013 7:22 am
We’re all guilty of muttering something off-putting now and then, but there are simply a few words and phrases that — according to some — are just plain strange to hear coming out of the mouths of post 50s. Sure, there are words that no one of any age should say on the Internet without starting a flame war.
And no one, in 2013, should be uttering “bromance,” or “oh, awkward” or “binders full of women.”But there are also, definitely, words that probably never should come out of the mouths of those with an AARP card. Never. Like, ever.Huff/Post50 asked our readers and Facebook fans what they thought and here are a few of their responses.JoAnn Forrester said post 50s should never say “girlfriend,” “neat,” or “can I fix you dinner?”
Kim Dunshie Herning said it depends on who you’re talking to. “It is not ‘cool’ to use your teenager’s current slang in any conversation with any age group to try to be ‘with it.’ Salty, swag? What the heck do these words mean? And you won’t catch me calling any male or female ‘dude’,” she said.
Johnny Hoppe argued that only words and phrases that have lost their cool or were never cool to begin with should be avoided, such as “par-tay”, “_______ NOT!”, “Compassionate Conservatism” or “Squib me deux Zima, G-bones!”
“Words of this ilk should only be used ironically and under professional supervision and always with protective headgear,” he said.
Roe Breslin said that, after a shopping trip to Target last week, her 39-year-old daughter announced that one should never use the word “panties” after a certain age.
“I said ‘okay, then, underpants’,” she said. “She said that was worse, so I give up.”
Alma Murchin said she hates when she hears people over 50 use Internet slang like BRB. “Really, save that for the teens,” she said. Laura Hoffman said she can’t stand people to use old fashioned expressions like “another day another dollar!”
So what words don’t you like to hear or say? Here’s our list of nine words we believe you have no business saying over 50.
1. Totes. Unless you’re referring to that lovely large bag with two handles you’re carry on the plane with you.
2. Freakin’. Although “freakin’ a” is so much worse.
3. Hottie. Please only say this if you’re trying to order a toddy of some kind and not when you’re eyeing the sexy guy at the bar.
4. Smashed. This is what happened to the vase when the cat knocked it on the floor, not your state of inebriation after a night out with friends.
5. Girlfriend or boyfriend
6. LOL. If you say that to me, I’ll just GOL and tell you to BO.
7. Like. This vocalized pause only makes you seem unsure of yourself.
8. YOLO. “You only live once.” My 12-year-old daughter and her friends said this much of last year. It’s time for this trend to go away, especially if you’re over 50. 9. Rich or Sick. Do these mean the same thing? Don’t know and don’t care.
I would like to add something here,,,, Shelley Emling wrote: Sure, there are words that no one of any age should say on the Internet without starting a flame war. There also are terms no one should use to describe themselves on LinkedIn.
Considering that Shelley is over 50 I will give her an OUT here but truly I might say (after reading the first few comments this article provoked) That you probably should not write an article about what NOT to say for the over 50 crowd anywhere!!!!
Ya hit 50 and it is already a sensitive subject, regardless of the black balloons and wonderful surprise party and loving roast that comes with it! Regardless of how we embrace the fact that we can lose the stupid rules of our youth. It stings just a bit. We may not want back those awkward years but we sure as hell don’t want anyone even someone over fifty telling us how to talk and where not to say certain words! We earned that right by living a half a century already. Believe me if someone says LIKE it is a habit they began long before they turned fifty. Soooo like don’t freakin tell me what to say on the Internet or anywhere else for that matter… got it girlfriend?! LOL.
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22 Mar 2013
in Blog friends, Blog Report, Bloggers Welcome, Blogging, Book in progress, Invitation, questions, Readers of blogs welcome, Writing, Writing my book
Tags: Goals, WordPress, Writing
Why Blog? Lately, I have been asked this question by a handful of people and have run into it in a few Q & A writer’s forums. Are they just curious?Why do I feel as if I need to “defend” the time I spend on my blog? It has made me ponder my own reasons for being here. I recently read about a writer who has come to the conclusion that her little projects including blogging do not take away from her “main” project at hand but enhance it. I also feel that each piece we write, regardless of the feedback we may or may not get, can strengthen our final results. Since each time we write, we are exercising our writer’s muscles, toning and working toward that final goal.
With all that being said, I still wonder if I am procrastinating, Am I not finishing my book by being here? I have this urge to stomp my foot and say; “But I like it here and I don’t want to leave!” I value what you have to say and have to admit that there is great affirmation knowing that talented writers like you guys have taken the time to read my ramblings and in turn, also find value in them! In the beginning, it amazed me that even one person was interested enough to come by to read what I wrote. Now it inspires me to know that I am building my audience and that I might say something helpful or inspirational to just one person is enough. One at a time is fine with me.
My readers…. Smile
Some of us who have seen Julia & Julia can relate where she begins her blog and her following of readers progress. I have been there. Haven’t you? Where someone begins to follow you because they like your writing. They see something worth following. It is quite validating. Writing connects us. When someone says; :”You took what was inside my head and made it come to life.” Well, does it get any better? It is addicting.
I know that if we had a Writer’s Group on Thursday nights at a local coffee-house, I would look forward to each meeting with all of you! In the meantime, I love our connection and have learned so much from you, and your feedback here and reading your blogs as well. For instance, Paul took the time to edit a couple of my “chapters” when I posted my very rough draft versions from my book here. He pointed out that I insert the word: HAD a lot. I am slowly re-editing a chapter at a time and totally see how I do that and how taking that one word out, does not detract from anything at all! In fact, it polishes it! I have another friend who has basically gone through the backdoor of my blog and read every post from the beginning. Talk about affirming.
I have been inspired by each of your blogs, regardless of gender or age! Your notes of encouragment as you have read faithfully what I write can’t be duplicated. Just knowing that you feel that my blog is worth your time is like a piece of chocolate cake without the calories!
In my imagination, we are all sitting in our circle of writer/blogger friends sharing and connecting, encouraging and editing. That is why I blog! How about you guys? I’d love to hear about your reasons. Welcome to our first Thursday night Bloggers Circle… who would like to be the first to share?
19 Mar 2013
in Appreciation, creation, God, Gratefulness, New Day, passion, Perspective, Poetry, Spiritual
Tags: Gratitude, Poetry, reflection
As the day open’s it’s eyes…
fill my heart~
splashed with pink,
His work of art
is my day’s start!
I woke up to a beautiful sky filled with pink cotton candy and my entire heart softened. I opened the blinds and sat there in awe as I watched the miracle of the morning welcome a new day and knew that God had orchestrated that very minute and me sitting there, possibly hoping that I would realize he was there with me. At that moment I just had to STOP my life with a screech! And wonder WHAT AM I THINKING? I often forget to thank God for what I do have. I just tumble into a long list I am asking HIM to give or solve for me. How would a friend feel if we did that to them? I have decided that I need to connect with God more. I feel that in a way, a sunrise is God’s text to us and that HIS intentions for us, was always to have a Garden of Eden.
He never intended us to have illness or relationship issues, His plan for us was not to go brankrupt or lose jobs. We interrupted God’s plan and let that snake of a devil worm his way into our world. Well, I say enough! It is time we took back! what has always been rightfully ours!
We have God on our side! He is BIGGER than anthing we could ever be afraid of!
We need to fight for what He intended us to have!
Are we going to let a little snake steal our joy today?!
I say NO… I am not…
What do you say?
It is your choice.
Thank you Lord for this day. May I bless you in all that I do today.
18 Mar 2013
in abusive relationships, Anger, answers, Attitudes, Believing in yourself, Breaking, broken heart, change of attitude, Determination, excerpts, first draft, first loves, frustration, Goals, growing older, healing, lessons learned, Perspective, Publishing, self worth, Survivial, Writing my book
Tags: abuse, Childhood memories, codependency, Letting Go, reflection, Writing
How long is the normal life span? I know a few people in their nineties and several in their eighties still going strong, so it baffles me as to why the beginning two decades are so important to who we ultimately become. But they are very important. Considering that we will live to be one hundred, (give or take a decade or two) our formative years are only 20% of our entire lifetime but I believe that they are some of the most important.
Some people tend to totally forget the first ten or so years while others remember every detail as if it were yesterday. We all have had our happy
and not so happy memories.
Some of the bad ones are obvious. There is abuse and no matter how you look at it, it is evident. Others are not so evident. It may be subtle, a parent depending on a child too much, a sibling or peers tormenting them. We remember and we form scars that last a lifetime. We have been told to “get over it” and yet how does one get over a mountain? I will tell you. One step at a time. It is possible. But the trick is not to discount the memories.
I know someone who was horrifically abused. More emotionally than anything. He was the boy with the story no one would believe. His mom was schizophrenic. She was beautiful and full of love for life and for him for that matter, but in a moment could turn into a raging monster. When I met her, I had heard some of the stories and at first, I had trouble opening up my heart to her because of what I knew. And yet, she was hard to resist. We quickly became friends and though I never forgot the stories I had heard, I let my guard down because this boy who I loved, wanted a connection with his mother so badly. I became the bridge that connected them. We shared many happy memories until I witnessed one of her rages. Her words cut deep and were directed towards her son who I loved.
I was very young back then. Our relationship began the summer after I turned seventeen and ended shortly after I turned twenty. Funny how those three years changed me forever. I think that I had a few co-dependent issues from my own childhood and so I brought those with me, thinking that I could fix something that was far more broken than I imagined. Because the boy I chose to love was abused. I in turn, was also abused by him. Because I loved him, I chose to look the other way. Because his mom couldn’t love him in the way that he needed to be loved, I took on the responsibility of that love and mine.
And thus the cycle of co-dependency began to spin. I looked the other way when he treated me badly because I had witnessed firsthand his abuse. Only imagining him as a child with no one to protect him. And my heart broke for him. Funny, even though I was his target for his abuse towards me back in those days, I took it because I knew where his pain was coming from. But I was still young enough to be damaged by it too. Not until writing my book, did I understand that I was also a victim of abuse in a way I never understood before. Though I looked the other way then, because I felt his childhood pain, I have had to come to grips with my own pain, in trying to break the circle.
In the book I am writing. I share my experiences. Though instead of memoirs, I am producing it as fiction. Taking out the unnecessary details and changing the names for the most part. But what I want to get across is how we find ourselves in situations and why. As I have written it out. It has been like therapy for me. But it has made me realize that the abuser isn’t the monster I remembered him being. For years, I had not even been able to say his name. When we finally broke up, I had been so hurt and damaged I didn’t know what to do with the pain and so I turned it into anger.
Through out my life, and my relationships I know that, that one relationship controlled my entire life in all of the years that followed. I have had a hard time trusting and I’ve always needed to feel in control since then. Recently, that not so young boy (anymore) contacted me. I was not sure if he was even alive nor was he sure that I was. I finally got my closure. I know for me, that I needed some sort of a resolution and when the opportunity knocked I had to open the door. I did what was right for me. I know it was selfish but I don’t regret it. I do regret hurting the people in my life now. And I can’t say that I am proud of all of my recent choices but I feel as if I can finally close the anger chapter of my life and that I have been educated in such a life changing way. Far more than any degree could offer me. I have learned so much about who I am and surprised myself about what I am capable of. Not everything, good. But it has gotten me to the place where I can say goodbye to my young self
and look into the mirror and see ALL of me.
I have had a hard time penning the ending to my book since then. I know now that I clearly had digressed, allowing my seventeen year old self to interrupt everything about who I am today. But though not everyone may agree, I needed to ask questions and say things I never said and I got that chance.
Being “The one that got away” and knowing no one ever gave him the love that I did, is very sad but a little vindicating. Maybe at first, I thought revenge might be sweet. But when you have really loved someone, you only want the best for them, no matter how much they hurt you. Whether it is divorce or young love. There is such a fine line between love and hate. And until even today, I am learning that love is more powerful than any form of hate could ever be. And if the love had ever been genuine and you can go back to find it’s roots, I guarantee, letting the hate go will feel much more vindicating than anything revenge might bring. It took me over thirty years to feel it. Today, I feel that I can move on. Or as some people have said :”Get Over it”.
So I guess in the end, I want to make people see how subtle abuse can be, how everyone is a victim and how the abuser isn’t always a monster but just a product of their own abuse from their own childhood. My book is called Pieces of the circle. Now I feel that I can sigh and find that spot in the circle that needs to be finished and write it.
18 Mar 2013
in Blogging, wordpress, worry, Writing
Before you read this… I wanted to inform you that I DID receive a note from wordpress below (and pretty promptly if I do say so myself!) that I wanted to share with you guys but this is a great reminder to back up our work!
Wow, that was scary. I couldn’t get into my blog this morning. Anyone else ever had that problem? When I tried to click onto “Manage My Blog” it said that my blog had been archived or suspended. Huh? WHAT THE HECK? I mean seriously, WHY???
All I have written lately have been greeting cards to my loved ones due to my Hallmark Month of birthdays! Then I read…that if that really would happen, we would not get our content back!
One of my initial reasons for starting a blog, was storing my book in a “safe” place as I wrote it. Obviously, it was a glitch today. But it made me realize that nothing is a for sure thing.
Once I started wandering into the world of wordpress writers. I began to realize I loved it here. Funny how my heart kind of dropped when I thought that there was a possibility of losing you guys and not to mention… all of my hours and hours of work! It truly made me think. We need to back up our work constantly. Lesson learned today!
I have grown to love it here. And you guys have been amazing. The friendships that I have formed here are priceless to me. I feel as if we are kind of like a Thursday Writer’s Group. Meeting at a neighborhood Coffee place to get together and share our new stories and poems and give each other feedback and share tools and new sources. If only! I wish!
But in the mean time. I am blessed to have you. The thought of that door being closed and being locked out kind of freaked me out! I had come here this morning to write a new blog, free of birthday wishes, back to the norm. And was blindsided by feeling locked out. And then as I wandered around the Terms Of Service and found that we could have our whole blog removed without squatting rights…. well, it really make ya think!
So I just wanted to say. For a minute this morning I really took the time to realize how much you guys mean to me and to remind you….
BACK UP YOUR WORK!!
17 Mar 2013
in Best Friends, BIRTHDAY, Birthday celebration, CELEBRATE, change of attitude, Family, Heroes, Love, Memories, MOM, Mother in law, Perspective, Poetry, Relationships, Thank you
Tags: Birthday, Mother in law, Poetry, reflection, relationships
(My Mother In-Law)
When I was a little girl, I imagined so many things…
Constantly wondering what my life might bring~
Who I would love and share my life with
Who I would marry, and if I’d have kids~
Well, life happened differently far from my dreams,
Happy endings are not what they all seem.
I was hurt by my life by the time I met you,
and it was hard for anyone to really get through.
But you were so patient and forgave many times,
and finally we bonded through the years like fine wine~
Today I have regrets over the time that I wasted,
like a lifetime of chocolate all left untasted!
Your wisdom and experience is hard to compare,
and the way that you love, is so very rare~
You have lived your life like a fine work of art,
but even more, is the beauty I’ve found in your heart~
You’ve been an amazing grandma through all the years
thinking of your love, just brings me to tears~
And today, as I stop to realize… everything in the end….
The mother in law I imagined once, is now one of my best friends!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAR!
I love you!
15 Mar 2013
in Best Friends, BIRTHDAY, Birthday celebration, CELEBRATE, daughter, Family, friendship, Heroes, kindness, Love, Memories, Poetry, prayer, Relationships
Tags: Birthday, Daughter's Birthday, Poetry
Can it be twenty five years ago that you came into this world,
My sweet little blue eyed precious baby girl?
You captured my heart from the moment we met!
The first time I held you… well, I will never forget.
You overwhelmed me with love at the very start
and through the years you have captured my heart
You have made me laugh and entertained us from the beginning
With you in our lives we were constantly grinning
You’ve taken on life with all of your might
When you take on a project you fight the good fight
You finish it through to the very end
And then you get up to do it all over again
You have a way of holding our hearts in the palm of your hand
And when you believe in something, you take a firm stand
Your beauty has been evident from the very start
But what I am most proud of… is what’s in your heart!
As a mama I could count all the things you have done,
counting to a thousand naming them each, one by one~
but it’s not just your talents or the way that you shine,
even though I’m constantly boasting; the fact that you’re mine…
It’s inside your heart and the faith that we share,
it’s the way that your joy makes you cry when you care~
It’s your kindness and love that you have towards others,
That makes me so proud that I am your mother!
And so as I sift through the memories today,
trying to wish you Happy Birthday in ”our” own little way~
I marvel at it all, for I know, in the end,
Twenty five years ago, I made my very own Best Friend!
Happy Birthday Brookie Baby!
Yore Mama Loves You!!!!
I just wanted to thank you for being my kid, my hero, my advisor and my very best friend.
You inspire me. You make me want to be better. I am so proud of your accomplishments!
Today, I just have to stop and breathe and realize that God protected you on that day of the earthquake so many years ago, (can it be almost ten?) as
angels gathered around the place where you stood as our store was crunched along with the car where you asked to wait in.
We can’t not believe! He has great things in store for you! I BELIEVE that you are going to change the world! Perhaps just one by one in the people
near you or in a much bigger way than we can even imagine. It was so hard to let you go, five years ago when you left our little town to go find your
dream. But you are doing it! Just like that little girl who I would find asleep ON her pile of toys…. you do everything with a ghusto! And I can’t wait to
see what you do next!
May God bless your life and may this year bring answered prayers and dreams come true.
I love you my sweet girl and very best friend~
13 Mar 2013
in Family, Father, grand children, Gratefulness, Memories, Poetry
Tags: Birthday, Papa
(Dad right front, mom behind him on the right)
Once upon a time there lived a quiet little boy
Who touched the life of a quiet little girl~
But in-between those good old quiet little days
they went out and lived their lives in the big old noisey world!
Both their lives were filled with joy and sorrow
some tears and a lot of laughter
And all the while God kept planning every detail
of what someday, would come after!
They lost touch and had families of their own
As the quiet little boy grew up to be a handsome youg man~
But even back then, in the scheme of things
God knew what was in store for them because HE had a plan!
You may not have been there in my beginnings
But you’ve been there during times worth while
You made me believe in happy endings
and were there to walk me down the aisle
You have been the greatest Papa to my kids
And they love you with all of their hearts
You have shared stories and planted seeds
molding their little souls from the start!
But today… as I reflect on how you have touched my own life
I wanted to tell you thank you for being there
For really, really, really, really,
Happy Birthday Papa!
I love you!
(Sorry this was two days late…. )
07 Mar 2013
in Change, Poetry, self awareness
Tags: AHA Moments, attitude adjustmement, faith, Hope, Letting Go, Poetry, reflection, self evaluation
“Insanity: doing the
same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”
― Albert Einstein
How many times do we find ourselves
making the same mistakes?
trying to fill the holes in our lives
no matter what it takes?
We overlook the lessons
we know that we have learned
we ignore the raging fire
and contine to get burned
We feel the pain inside
and yet we really just don’t care…
We try to disguse the warnings
as the answer to our prayers
when we really knew that all along
there were no answers there
Just God, waving HIS red flags..
telling us to
06 Mar 2013
in abusive relationships, Acceptance, broken heart, emotional abuse, Goodbye, healing, hope, Life Journey, Poetry
Tags: Hope, Letting Go, Poetry, reflection
It’s kind of funny,
how I see things so differently now,
as if a window, once painted shut has opened,
And how I overlooked the heart you
once left broken.
I am annoyed with me
and the things I did not see~
My vision has been restored~
And the opportunity for a second chance
is my reward.
Being able to now open the windows once painted shut,
Somehow… it all seems just enough~
Though looking back,
I am surprised that I almost gave you
back so much of me.
And yet looking through the open pane
I see it now all so differently~
06 Mar 2013
in Becoming a grandma, BIRTHDAY, Birthday celebration, CELEBRATE, Family, grand children, Love, Poetry
Tags: Birthday, Children, Love, Poetry, reflection, relationships
Happy Birthday to my sweet Birthday girl~
You came along and blessed our world…
You were the cutest baby of them all,
I watched in wonder behind the wall~
Your Auntie loved you from the start~
You fit just perfectly into her heart!
I have to admit you stole mine too~
You had so many people loving you!
(And of course you know… your daddy’s too!)
You came along and fit right in!
My first granddaughter and “now” my friend!
HAPPY 11th BIRTHDAY!
I love you Sweetie!
04 Mar 2013
in Best Friends, BIRTHDAY, friendship, growing older, Love, Poetry
Tags: Friendship, Poetry, reflection, relationships
I know that this is a day before your birthday but I wanted to make sure that you got this because I knew you would not be home and didn’t know if or when you’d be on line. I just wanted to catch you in time so that you would truly know that you were loved and remembered!
May this be the year of Answered Prayer!
I love you~
How many years has it really been
since you and I became best friends?
We met back in the days of dippity doo
Has it really been fifty two?
You were there for my first day of school
we thought our velvet shoes were too cool!
Days of summer, Bosco and bactine
you were a part of everything!
playing ball at dusk till the lights turned on
reminds me of a a favorite song
We both loved the little kid nextdoor
You won out! He loved you more!
I found a picture with all our grins
Sorry I couldn’t cut out the twins!
They were both right in the middle
but then I changed it up a little!
Ahh I remember all the times we shared
And when I moved how much we cared
We did not want to ever lose touch
even then, our friendship meant so much~
Our moms were friends who loved each other
and so we kept in touch through our mothers.
Until you wrote me a letter and I wrote back
then… we kept in touch with notes and sealing wax!
Sometimes we visited on occassion
When my dad gave us a Terri vacation!
As years went by I always knew
That where ever I went I could count on you
Whatever happened you were my friend
You have been my circle without an end.
We’ve been there through each other’s broken hearts
and supported all of each other’s starts!
Once we played with dolls and then had ones of our own
And had even more fun than we had ever known!
The years have been good. You have made them better
through our love and our bond and a million letters!
we have weathered some storms and celebrated others
And we have even become grandmas and mothers!
And the “Auntie” to my baby that you have been~
Well, I just love how “she” loves my very Best friend!
So many memories no one but us have shared
I’m just so glad that you’ve always been there!
Now as we celebrate YOUR DAY I wished I lived near
Cuzzz I’m celebrating you in my heart
At my party right here!
04 Mar 2013
in aging, BIRTHDAY, CELEBRATE, My Blog, patience
Tags: Birthday, Very Important Person
So this month, I need a pass from you guys as I sneak in a few Hallmark moments!
This month I am going bananas!
I have a half a dozen very important people in my life having a birthday! My mom’s birthday is March 3rd, my best friend’s birthday is March 5th, My granddaughter’s birthday is March 6th, my dad’s birthday is March 11th, my daughter’s birthday is March 15th and my mother in law’s birthday is March 17th! Geesh! Soooo if you pardon me… I may be using my blog as my Hallmark so to speak!
I have positioned everyone in the order that their birthdays will be landing.
And I just wanted to say that every one of these people are blessings in my life
and even though March is a lot of work for me…
It is packed with the dates that recognize when each came into this world
and so for that
I CELEBRATE the month of March!
Thank you Lord for the loved ones that you blessed me with in March!
So I ask all of you who might be inundated between my posts with well wishes to my family this month to be patient with me until after St. Patrick’s Day! I thought they might get a kick out of being the highlight of my blog for their special days. My mom made me read each of your Birthday wishes to her twice! lol. Love ya all!
03 Mar 2013
in BIRTHDAY, CELEBRATE, Family, Gratefulness, Heroes, Memories, MOM, Poetry, Relationships
Tags: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MOM'S BIRTHDAY, Poetry
Once upon a time, there was an angel God sent down here to earth,
With borrowed wings she found a place and began her life long work~
She has had many joys and sorrows and been an example to us all;
Starting out quite early she’s been faithful to her Savior’s call~
Her life has been a story she began to write at an early age,
planting seeds along the way with blessings on each page~
(Mom on the right)
She has filled the world with laughter and become God’s work of art,
(Mom on the left)
teaching other’s about God’s love as they asked Him into their hearts~
Her daddy is with Jesus because she begged him to pray the prayer,
and because of her life so many others are also waiting there!
And so I am sure that GOD is pleased that He sent His Angel here to earth
And that heaven also must be celebrating
the day of my mom’s birth!
(My grandma, my mom and me and my great grandma)
(My mom and me)
(my mom, me my grandma and my cousin Pammy and my Auntie Roberta)
(Mom, Grandma & me)
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MAMA!
I LOVE YOU!
01 Mar 2013
in change of attitude, Gratefulness, lessons learned, Love, marriage, Midlife Crisis, Poetry, Relationships, Renewal
Tags: attitude adjustmement, Marriage, midlife crisis, Poetry, relationships
I throw the keys on the table as I walk through the door,
dropping bags filled with groceries as they fall on the floor~
Listening to your message you left when I missed your call,
Telling me that you have to stay one more night after all.
The traffic was bleeping crazy so I missed my run,
I stand at the freezer choosing my dinner for one~
Funny, I used to enjoy having the house to myself,
But suddenly I feel things, I haven’t recently felt,
“Hey Beautiful” you say sweetly, as you always do~
And tonight , I realize, I really am missing you!
It feels good to realize, I don’t want to be alone,
so I leave you a new message; “My love, hurry home!”
Diane Reed 2013
28 Feb 2013
in Attitudes, Exercise, healthy life style changes, jogging, mental exercise, New Day, Poetry, Renewal, self awareness, Writing
Tags: Healing, healthy exercise, jogging, Poetry, reflection, running, self evaluation, Writing
(I was challenged to find the joy by a friend, “Take Light” here on my blog… here is my first stab at it! Please be kind… I have been stuck in yesterday for far too long! Thanks! I needed that kick in the butt!)
I thought I’d use the metaphor of jogging to start exercising my heart and preparing it for the joy I plan to round up!
Like tying my shoes before a run,
imagining how I’ll feel when I’m done~
I walk out the door with my ipod on,
facing the chill as my eyes kiss the dawn~
first, I start to walk slowly and then pick up speed,
knowing that this very moment, is all that I need~
Words dance through my head and into my heart,
realizing this is the way to make the words start~
This writing hiatus that I have been on,
was all stuck in my past and now released in my dawn~
So… as the sun rises, I see HIS grand work of art
and in the act of just living I’ve found joy in my heart!
Diane Reed ’13
Here’s to living IN TODAY from now on!!!!!
25 Feb 2013
in Goodbye, growing older, healing, hurts, learning, lessons learned, Life Journey, Life lessons, Loss, Memories, Poetry, Relationships, Reminscing, self awareness, young love
Tags: past, Poetry, reflection
Her heart was bruised
and a little misused,
she learned at a young age
how it could break~
Years went by
and life went on,
she learned the games
of give and take~
But she always wandered back
into the forest of her yesterdays~
looking past the shadows
losing her way inside the maze~
Now the bruises on her heart…
They don’t hurt much anymore~
unless you push very hard
on the places that hurt before.
Diane Reed ’13
20 Feb 2013
in first draft, Frustrated writer, My Blog, passion, Perseverance, process, reflection, Writing
I am back! From LA and the buying trip I went on.
I visited my friend Jody and got to spend girl time with my baby who has surprised me and become Vegan. And so we had a few foodie moments this trip.
Making falafels and trying out a new Vegan restaurant.
She is inspiring and very healthy but it is more than just health for her and she has inspired me to be more aware and I am so proud of her passion when she has a conviction. She went shopping with me and so we got both ends of the taste spectrum. Her trendy and young version and my safe, conservative, what Paso Robles peeps are (hopefully) buying!
I do need to go and price everything but first I wanted to stop in here for a few and say that I have missed you all terribly and just wanted to catch up for a minute.
If you recall, I was off to write a song as well.
Well, I must say that the melody that I was given inspired me to write a more spiritual song which is not what he (my song writer friend) was looking for and he said that in fact, his inspiration was derived from the few chapters of my book that I posted here
a few months ago, which by the way, he was not overly complimentary of. So I was touched that he would take the time to find inspiration from my story.
I have sent him snippits of what I came up with. It was not my best work. Something was missing. And I think that I know what it was. Passion. It is not that the song was not good. It was not that I am really not a song writer. I think it is just because there is work I must do and it is to finish my book
I have a raw and un-nerving passion that makes me trudge on. It may take a lot of hard work and soul searching but I am passionate about the message behind the story and this was a good wake up call. I need to focus on more things with passion. I have realized that lately when that little ingredient is missing, I am not in a place where I should be.
Here is to finding my way back to the place where I can find the passion
the words again.
11 Feb 2013
in Believing in yourself, creation, learning, opportunity, Perseverance, process, Progression, Writing
Tags: cadence, lyrics, Song writing, writer's block
I have been given the opportunity to write the lyrics to a song!
I am playing it in the background as I write this to you guys in hopes that my writer’s block will break!
A friend that I made here, is a musician and teacher. And sent me a piece that he had written especially for me. He even called it “Finding Diane” probably due to the theme of all my pieces. I guess that I do write as if I need to be found, like Alice looking down the rabbit hole.
I have written about going back and finding pieces of me along the way. I know that I live in the past, I have a lot of regrets and am working on going back and getting the part of me that I left behind all those years ago, for once and for ALL.
I try to write so that others might learn from my mistakes.
I have been struggling to find the right place to even start.
I have a million beginnings but when I think that I have hit on something, and come back to it. It sounds cheesy when I read it.
I want to honor the beauty of the music that seemed so easy for him to write.
It is funny, because poetry is so effortless for me. It usually is the easiest thing for me to write. So forgiving and natural, as if it is a part of me. But this is all about math and cadence and I want to say it all in different places where it doesn’t seem to fit.
I haven’t ever had this problem before. Even when I was younger, it didn’t take too long for me to write what I wanted. And I have written songs before. Several. I guess I worked on those too for a while. But I didn’t feel that they would be as judged, maybe… or maybe it is just because I am so much older and judge myself more now.
Today, I thought maybe if I wrote you all, I could find the part of me that is holding back, and hoarding the words I need!!!!!
I will be back once I have it!!
07 Feb 2013
in Acceptance, Breaking, communication, fragile, honesty, Loss, Perspective, Relationships, Survivial
Tags: relationships, self evaluation
“Never mind” she wrote.
Her sentence broke,
she stopped in the middle
saying much with so little.
“Never mind means more” he said.
His words still danced in her head.
He was right you know,
he knew, but even so,
she smiled as she read
what he had said…
“Never mind is like saying
let me go”
But we really know…
It means, “hold me tight”.
Yes, he was right,
and so she begins to say…
”maybe you could stay”.
But the words are hard to find…
“Oh just never mind”.
Diane Reed ’13
06 Feb 2013
in faith, Poetry, prayer, Survivial
Tags: faith, Hope, Poetry
The war ” inside”
has me dancing in this bubble
as if walking along the ocean’s ebb
and floating over a sea of trouble
I find solace inside my head
wrapped inside your arms~
In a place so safe and warm
far from earthly harms~
And yet I know
I will have to go
to face my life
to make the choice~
to learn to listen
to the voice~
As you wrap your words around me
and I hear you say….
that that takes my breath away…
Oh my child,
it’s going to be okay”.
Diane Reed ’13
04 Feb 2013
in Blogging, Book in progress, Broken spirit, Determination, Poetry, Stubborn, Wisdom, Wordpress friends, Writer's abuse, Writing, Writing my book
Tags: Poetry, reflection, Writing
My words find me
alone in my room~
They keep me company
like a familiar tune~
From the time I was small
I’ve brought them along,
they comfort me
when all else goes wrong~
My words come from
a place deep inside,
where my tears and my love
all tend to reside~
At times I have written only for me
and others, just for you~
No matter what, where ever I go,
They’ll always come along too~
They are easy to bring.
they don’t take much room~
I’ve carried them with me
since; there in the womb~
Judge them or love them
but don’t take them away~
For without my own words
I’d have nothing to say~
02 Feb 2013
in My Blog, patience, Perseverance, Poetry, Sharing my book, Writing
Tags: Hope, Poetry, Writing
Living this life
under a million stars
forgetting the pain
but feeling the scars
holding my face
in the palm of your hands
making love to my words
only you understand
inside my soul
When you read my words
It is my heart
that you hold.
And when you
say them out loud
so that I know that you heard
It is in that moment
you make love to my words.
Diane Reed 2013
01 Feb 2013
I wish I had read this when I was single. I wish I could gather these words up and make every young single person memorize this! This is utterly some of the best wisdom for those who think that they are in love and may not be. And confirmation for those who know that they know that in their case.... two are better than one!
01 Feb 2013
in Ambivalence, Attitudes, confusion, healing, Poetry, Time
Tags: Ambivalence, Poetry, reflection, Uncategorized
I step over the line
And then I look back
as the fragrance of the moment lasts
I hold today loosely
as it slips through the cracks
and I fall into step
with this dance
Like a feather falling
I hear your soul calling
as it brushes my heart
and then lingers
Like hugging sand
when the hour glass breaks
running through our fingers….
Diane Reed 2013
26 Jan 2013
in Attitudes, change of attitude, patience, Poetry, whimsical
Tags: attitude adjustmement, Coffee, happiness, How to have a good day
In the shower letting the water wash all my cares away
Dancing around in my robe as I pour the coffee
Drying my hair and putting my make up on
As I walk out the door… I hear a little song in my head…
I Smile at the neighbor as I hop in the car
And crank up the music, rolling my window down
Wave the guy in front of me in, it’s not that complicated
It’s gonna be what I make it… and it’s going to be a very good day!
(Even though I gotta work!)
26 Jan 2013
in Wordpress friends
Tags: Avatar, Blog, Hosts, LIKE, Publishers, Tools, Tutorial, Website, WordPress, wordpress questions, writing on wordpress
I have a question.
This is not going to be a profound entry this time around.
I am working on something else but for now I just have been perplexed by a few things that I would like to discuss.
So pardon me as I get up on my soapbox for just a minute…
I promise that this won’t be one of my long winded speeches…
But I did want to know what you guys thought! So please take the time to read all the way though and reply if you would… pretty please….
Okay so here it is…
I may just be a novice and there may be a perfectly good explanation that I don’t know about but….
Sometimes I see a person reply on a blog that I follow. Their witty response may intrique me and so I try to find their wordpress address. I click on their Avatar and they have not taken the time to setup their address. So by now, I have figured out how you can take part of their name in the information bar and delet the first half and then add wordpress.com to the end of their name and usually their blog will pop up
but not always. Yellow pages might be easier in some cases and it is very frustrating.
Question #1. Am I missing something or have they just not set up their link?
Question #2. Have you clicked your own Avatar to see if your address comes up? Just a note… if you have not, I suggest you do. It may explain why you are not getting much traffic or as many views. I know that sometimes I won’t ask how much something is if it is not marked. The same goes for bloggers. I won’t take the time to read their blogs if they can’t take the time to post their link.
Question #3. Is there any way to get in touch with the powers that be at wordpress? I used to be on the Sugar blog and they had a whole team of people who would troubleshoot or answer your technical questions. Am I just clueless to where to find assistance? Is there a place to do that on wordpress?
Question #4. Does anyone else feel that we should have another option button other than just LIKE? I don’t mean something negative but sometimes LIKE is not appropriate if someone is talking about something sad. Perhaps a ((((HUGS))) or Good Writer button?
Okay for now that is all. If you guys have more…. feel free to add and ask or comment or answer here!
By the way… this is more of a technical page but lastly, I had to address my biggest pet peeve of all here… Clicking LIKE in general. I have written about it a few times and it really does annoy me. I really don’t appreciate the LIKEs unless you are reading what I wrote. Truly, I mean it… On the other hand, I really appreciate them like a gift to my heart if you LIKE me and really did take the time to read! I ASK THAT YOU DON’T CLICK ON LIKE THIS TIME AROUND ESPECIALLY unless you really are reading this. I’d rather have a reply on this particular post. But if you reply, by all means… click on LIKE too if you like! I love it! This will be funny…………… And will be kind of a tell tale way to find out who is just clicking LIKE and who is really reading!
Thank you for humoring me ~ and most of all…
For your time!
21 Jan 2013
in Anger, arguing, Goals, humility, lessons on the job, Life lessons, self awareness, self control
Tags: Humor, learning
There are things that you just have to learn by yourself in life and no one can tell you what to do to make it “click” for you. If you are in your twenties or younger, and can learn the one thing that I am learning now, you will be a thousand steps ahead of me and save yourself a lot of trouble. And I think this is the kind of thing that perhaps you might have to learn the long way around but I am still going to try to sneak it in for ya because it will save you a ton of frustration in the long run. The little secret is….less is more!!!
Even though I feel that I don’t give my son enough credit for the depth in which he thinks these things up… I believe he is brilliant. But I don’t feel he always lives by his words of wisdom, in certain circumstances. He is hot headed and quick to react most of the time however, a while ago, he gave me some of the best advice I think I have ever gotten. He said; “Mom, if you don’t let people know what you are thinking, then you have the power“. When he said it. I knew it was profound. But not until lately, have I really understood what it means.
Recently, I have had people say outrageous things to me. Things that normally would require at least some kind of response. Maybe an insult or a complaint about where I work or a nosey question that really did not deserve a response. In the past, I have responded. Giving them the power.
The other day, someone said something that normally would have required a comeback from me or at least some kind of a rebuttal. Instead there was a wonderfully awkward but empowering silence. The receiving person who delivered the first part of the conversation was left hanging with their rather rude self and it was the best feeling ever!
Try it this week. And report back here at the end of the week. I bet there are going to be some wonderful stories. Because… seriously, silence IS golden.