My last car was a stick shift. My husband predicted that I would be sorry that I got it. But with just a year of payments left on it, I am still loving it. I wanted a sun roof too but that’s okay. I walked past a convertable the other day and my heart skipped a beat. Forget the sunroof! I know what I want next! Smile… and sigh… because I know that is not what I really want. What I really want is my youth back!

I remember once when I was about twenty. My friend’s dad had bought an old refurbished T-bird convertable. He wanted to take me for a spin in his classic car to show it off to me. With a “Kenny Nolan” tape playing in the tape deck we whipped around the hills of Palos Verdes. I remember thinking… he is having an affair. His wife was sick and had not been a wife to him for years. It turned out that I was right. I got some of their furniture out of that divorce for my first little apartment. It was very sad.

I remember thinking how old he was and marvling at the fact that he was listening to songs about new love and feeling that it was all very “creepy” at the time. I look back now and have to laugh. He was younger than I am now and that memory has come back to hit me smack in the face. As I find myself in a legitimate Mid Life Crisis of my own. I am officially grieving my youth.                (I had a 1972 FIAT when I was 18)

Recently I have had the opportunity to go down memory lane with an old friend. And it has felt good. To lose myself in the fantasy of the past and what could have been to help numb the reality of today where all those dreams I had to look forward to were lost like that classic little white T-bird. I play my own love songs now and mourn for something more than just an old love but for the girl I was so many decades ago, driving around the hills of Palos Verdes feeling sorry for the old man in the driver’s seat.

4 thoughts on “Who Is Driving Now?

  1. I very much like the irony of seeing the “old man” as now younger than yourself and now seeing him in a new light as you listen to your own love songs. It needs fleshing out in order to make it even more effective, engaging, and meaningful. This is worth spending a lot of time on to make it longer and more from the heart. Wonderful concept and execution as is, but I want more than this tiny sip and even this early in your blog I can see it is in you to make this into something special.

    1. Jim,
      I love that you are taking the time to comment. But I don’t feel the need to go back and work on any of the posts that I have already posted… they are there blemishes and all to share but not to publish… unless you know someone? lol.
      Really though, I started this blog just as a keeper of my writing for me… slowly, the networking began. Not really sure how it started… but I think we have a misscommunication here. My blog is like my journal. At least it started out like that. My book is what I asked for feedback on.
      In my head, my blog is never going to be published. It is just ramblings… never intended to be perfect. There are probably a million spelling mistakes not to mention grammar… Yeeegads!
      I am just touched that you have taken so much time reading from the beginning! It is like an amazing gift. I have been blown away that anyone, especially people I don’t know has found me and reads my words! I can imagine what it must feel like if only just a smidgen, when an author sees someone reading their book or when it hits the Best Seller lists… what an amazing high that must be! But even when one reader on a blog takes a minute to comment… that has been huge for me… let alone takes this kind of time.
      All I can do is humbly say … thank you
      PS: sorry you think I am a reader’s tease… but you are getting warmer with this post! 😉

      1. Understood about not wanting to rewrite this. My intent was to point out that this contains a kernel of something that could be bigger than a blog article. It has certain plot twists and irony. It could be so much more.

        I intend to read through and comment and I don’t expect you to be proactive at all. But I do expect you to consider my comments for what they are worth. I’m kinda good at this. You are getting the attention I was giving The Flat Girl except I have no intentions of crawling inside your head and seeing if I can fix anything. Boundaries. We both enjoy writing and talking about our craft. Onward!

        1. BTW, our Flat Girl is a professional writer at least of sorts. In one of our dialogs after one of her articles she mentions writing for some publication, perhaps it was a newspaper or something like that. She mentions that there is always news to write about so her job is secure and doing her job does not tie her to a specific location in order to get her job done. What sort of news writing/reporting she does I have no idea. I still follow her and saw your comment today so I thought I’d fill you in on that.

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