I used to be such a Charlie Brown in my life, indecisive and uncommitted and continually having the football yanked out from under me. Kicking that ball that wasn’t really there and finding myself flat on my back, with the world pulled out from under me, over and over again wondering what the heck went wrong. I have to admit now that those opportunities for kicking have come less and less because my trust levels have gone way down. I used to be so gullible and trusted everyone…. but not so much anymore. I have caught myself waiting for the proverbial football to be yanked away and been surprised when it hasn’t.
Sadly, I have been hurt enough times where I miss the opportunity to kick that goal and regret it later, knowing I could have earned one for the team if I had just trusted others more. But really, what is one to do except turn into a SAM I AM… “I will not like them in a car, or a box or a house or on a train, I will not like them here or there… I will not like them ANYWHERE!!!! Geesh… is that what it has come down to? Relating to characters in someone else’s imagination? Hmmm… But really, don’t we all? I mean, really, haven’t we all felt like the old woman in the shoe… even with one or two kids… we feel like we don’t know what to do… or how about Old Mother Hubbard… she went to her cupboard and it was empty. Okay, okay, are all nursery rhymes sad? No wonder we are so screwed up when we finally grow up. Let’s see can we think of any good ones? Well, little Jack Horner sat in a corner …and finally figured out he was a good boy after all. And Mary, Mary was quite contrary but even her garden grew. But then there is… London bridges that all fell down and ….”oh my” stop me now.
What is my point? My point is…. That we compartmentalize everything in life so much, that it is no wonder that my Therapist is not taking any new clients! We have so many messages being thrown at us. Trust me… eat these green eggs… you will like them… I promise… I mean, how many people do I have to have following me around trying to convince me of things that I resist? I guess it all stems from my Charlie Brown days and that dumb football. It really hurt to trust over and over again only to be made a fool of and the fact is… Now, in this stage of my life I really do hate being talked into things but half the time I end up being glad I tried and even though it is hard to admit…. I do usually end up liking whatever it is I am resisting….. Sam I am.