We all have “containers” in life and we all find different ways to fill them. The idea is to fill them with purpose. Things that make our life better. As we fill our containers, the level rises. Just educating ourselves about ourselves begins to plug up those holes that we have made over the years. Some people use people, others use drugs or alcohol or food to fill the holes and what hurts us usually only helps to make our holes bigger.

Spiritual and emotional growth and a whole host of other goals  are all the things that help  fill the holes and raise the level in our containers. It has taken me years to recognize the good and the bad things I use in my own life to raise the level and the task at hand is becoming more aware of the difference which is a work in progress. I know that for me, writing is a huge hole filler.

My book is sitting in a file just a “click” away and I am totally procrastinating by coming here to share my thoughts. I look at it as priming the pump, or perhaps stretching before  a  workout! But I know I need to get back to it. Why am I stuck? Could it be because, I am afraid to finish? If I finished, I would have to submit it. If I submit it, I am vulnerable. I can’t be rejected if I don’t present the question for someone to say yes or no.

Recently, I have been taking more chances in my life. The kind of chances that come with the possibility of rejection attached. Sometimes it has paid off and at other times I have had to face that vulnerability and it has sucked. Rejection is not the most comfortable place to be. But hey “no” is just a tiny word from a little person in my BIG world. I can make that rejection fill my world and make it bigger than it needs to be or I can brush my shoes off and move on to the next possibility and even bigger opportunity.  Sometimes I have forgotten that God is the captain of my ship. And I am the one He has put in charge of His vessel and have to remember NO ONE else is in charge here. No one! I can get opinions from other people until I am drowning in them but ultimately, in the end, I know that I am the one who steers this ship.

I have waited long enough for others to make things happen for me. In turn, I have found myself “stuck.” Only I can make things happen for me. The opportunities aren’t going to come and find me. I am going to believe in me enough to finish that book, to submit it and get a thousand rejections if it will get me to that one finish line where I actually finish the race.

It is always hard to take that first step… Go back to school, apply for a new job, start a new health regimen, or just a new attitude! And perhaps finish a book you have been writing for years! We have power in our own choices. We fill our own containers. We even fill the holes as we figure out what they are, until someday…. Our containers are spilling over!

7 thoughts on “Hole Fillers

  1. One more thing since you mention a marriage counselor. As I have been reading there has been the distinct feeling that you are comfortably single, perhaps widowed because of no sense of residual resentment. I’m married and happy. Currently, you?

  2. I’m in a weird mood today so I don’t know if it is me or not but this discussion of containers and more particularly about holes isn’t making a whole lot of sense to me. It feels like you are assuming I am familiar with a container which I will fill with purpose, which I kinda don’t get and then you lose me completely with the thing about holes. What causes a hole, what exactly is leaking out, and then what is appropriate to plug it? You mention things but I have this gigantic “HUH?” not getting any of it.

    Through the second paragraph I’m wondering how much it might only be the picture of the bucket that is confusing me. I kind of feel like I have a hole in me right now that needs filling, like a shot or two of vodka would make this weird empty feeling better (probably not). I understand the notion of a hole that needs filling in me but the bucket picture doesn’t represent it.

    Third paragraph we are avoiding working on a book. No container, no holes, but definitely a fear of rejection going on. Also this might be the first mention of a book in this blog and you are talking to the reader as if they already know about it. I know you are talking to yourself but I can only comment on what is here so shrug some things off.

    Paragraph four we have abandoned the container and we now have a vessel that we are captaining. Is that vessel yourself? And you are voyaging through life? And there are shoes being brushed off. Wait, God is the Captain and you are second in command and no doubt if the ship fills with water we will bail out with the pail with the holes in it and I’m being a dick now.

    And you end with the container and a positive message and I am left adrift. I’m in a spacey frame of mind right now but your metaphors are a tangled unrelated mess anyway. We’re a mess. At least the ending bucket has hearts and stars and ribbons. Yay! Everything is OK and I have no restraint as if I were drinking.


    1. So when I wrote this you are right I was writing this to myself as we were right in the middle of marriage counseling at the time and then we were doing private counseling every other week my counselor used the metaphor that we are like containers and that we try to find things to fill our containers I think I may I have been writing this for my therapist. I use to do that a lot and read things to her and then we would talk about it. Like I said back then I never considered other people like you reading my blog or critiquing it. If you notice you have gone back in the archives before anyone ever even started clicking LIKE. Not that I wouldn’t have wanted to share my ramblings. IF I had been submitting my posts for review or trying to publish them, I might understand your reaction … but not until maybe around October did I even notice that I had a little audience. But I see your points. Hopefully I am getting better at sharing as I now recognize that I need to make clearer metaphors since people are actually reading my ramblin words;-)

    2. I’m writing this on my phone soooo please excuse the type-os. I just wanted to add that
      I think that I actually reblogged this from a much earlier blog on another site that I think I may have listed on my profile; “about”

      1. I’m going to comment my gut reactions. We both understand you are not attempting great art or even public casual readership. Still, it is what it is and won’t hurt to point out the obvious just to make sure we’re on the same page. I am not a Nazi about comments, just formal-looking articles. 😉

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