I remember when my daughter was leaving for school. Can it be five years ago?! It is hard to believe.It seems as if just yesterday, she was starting kindergarten! I really foundered for that first year. I found sites that hosted other parents in a similar place and we swapped stories of pain and suffering. It really is quite funny now as I look back and recall just how truly pathetic I was back then. I had the bright idea of starting a blog for parents in the same situation. Never imagining someone else, in fact, a million other someone else’s had thought of that already and I had my pick of the litter.
So you are not alone. If you are wandering around the internet with feelings of hopelessness, I guarantee you will find a place to land and lick your wounds if you must and I can also promise that it will get better. I remember when my baby left. I would find a bobbypin that she left somewhere and burst into tears! I would go into her room just to smell her! I was pretty high on the rickter scale! I still have to admit, I do “SAVE” a lot of her messages so that I can hear her voice when she hasn’t checked in recently but I must say that I am much better! At least I don’t require daily contact which is what I did until very recently! So I am not laughing at you guys who are just dealing with your own empty nests, I am giving you hope!
Empty nests are survivable. Some day I do dream of my little birdie living a little closer but not until she feels she has made all of her dreams come true. She left here with plans to become an actress and she is on her way. She is getting her name out there and doing all she can to keep the process moving in that direction but I think she has a clearer picture of how extremely hard it is to even get near that golden ticket. But she is willing to do the work and I believe she will get whatever she aims for, it just may be a bit of a longer journey than she had first thought.
In between her leaving and today, we have dealt with getting through school, graduation, moving upteen times! Having falling outs with roommates, new loves, new jobs, new roomates and lots of tickets, a few fender benders and a major accident or two with God coming through with His guardian Angels on all of those! A few towed cars and other little emergencies. I don’t think she would have traded all the memories, good or bad for anything different and I am glad for them all because they have helped her grow and me too!
Recently, she was doing some parties for her job up near her Auntie’s house and my best friend since childhood and I met her up there and we had slumber parties until the wee hours of the night talking a little about nothing and some pretty deep stuff. Laughing and crying and hearing her opinions. It was some of our best times together! And I am not sure we would have been quite on this level of our mother daughter bond if she had still lived at home. Sometimes you have to let go to appreciate each other. Sometimes it might take every spare dime you have to pay a bill to help keep her dream alive, but in the end, you can’t really put a value on that kind of bond. Do I miss her? Sure. But I am confident knowing that she is well taken care of and pursuing her dreams…
I still find bobby pins after she comes home for a visit, like fuzzy baby bird feathers you might find at the bottom of a nest once the birds have flown away and I feel a little melancholy and realize that life passes by way too fast but I am IN for the next chapter and ready to ride the wave to see what comes next!
Next week… hints you need to know to avoid the above (tickets, roommate fall outs, cars getting towed, etc….)