There comes a time when we all reflect upon different things in our lives. We find ourselves at that proverbial fork in the road, that metaphoric mirror, the hour glass that symbolizes everything that came before and suddenly realize how quickly it all seems to have passed us by. It is that point in time when we realize that we stand at a crossroads and make ourselves take a long hard look at the choices we have made and who we are.
I have decided that I am going to stop looking back. I am going to embrace today. I can’t change any of my choices. I can’t go back and un-do anything I have done. And yet I am finally at a place in my life that I am beginning to appreciate. In all of my rubber necking and looking behind me, at where I have been, I have begun to see that today is actually not so bad.
I don’t want to wait until tomorrow when I am mourning the good old days that are today. I have spent so much time looking back that I haven’t taken the time to get to know what I do have. A wonderful husband that has looked the other way for far too long. Forgiving me for my indiscretions, patiently waiting for his turn. The man who loved me for longer than all the ones who have come before him.
I know myself far too well to realize that today, will be my tomorrow’s” good old days” someday. I don’t want to look back at today and wish for it again and realize that somehow I disregarded the whole thing because I was stuck in the past. I need to hold onto the blessing of a gift I almost missed. I feel so ashamed that I have invested so much time being distracted and mourning the past that I forgot about the present.
After reading and re-reading everything I have written, I need to add a “Part Two”, a kind of addendum, an epiphany of sorts to honor the one who has been loyal and un-budging, waiting for me to wake up and realize that today is all we’ve got! And to know the best is yet to be!