I look forward to the weekend and then wonder where it went on Monday. Life seems to be moving so fast. It seems as if only yesterday I was looking forward to falling in love and getting married and having kids. My Easy Bake Oven was my first kitchen,

and I played out the stories in my head with Barbie and Ken. Only very rich people had color televisions and you could still go and buy things from a catalog with things called Blue Chip Stamps.

Gas attendants still pumped your gas and washed your windows. Bosco and Dippity Doo, Chatty Cathys and Wish Books, all hold a place in my heart.

I look back at my first car and then my first apartment and I wonder where did the time all go? Why did I want to push so fast?? Babies and life all happened and it all feels as if I am walking backwards as I remember it all. Life was so simple then. But I didn’t see it. I just made it all so complicated when it really wasn’t at all. I have to wonder, am I doing that now? Not appreciating that TODAY may be tomorrow’s “Good Old Days.”

I grieve for my youth, for not realizing the special moments even in our struggles when money was tight or our marriage wasn’t right, or when bad stuff happened. Sometimes I just got stuck. I prayed for things, always looking behind my back, never really giving God the chance to work on anything because I kept snatching it back, right out of His hands. I would ask patiently for about two minutes and then be too rushed to wait for an answer. I feel like I really am walking backwards, not even turning around to see where I am going, just one step, two steps, three steps, all with my  view straight on the past.

Recently, it hit me that I missed out on a lot living in my world of retro regret and realizing that there are no U turns where God is concerned. There is only hope in the future because….

15 thoughts on “Walking Backwards

  1. You seem to look back a lot with regrets of things you didn’t do, seldom being specific. I would really like some specifics.

    I do encourage looking at now and doing what you want, even if that is in the context of what life requires of you. Everything is a game for me. When I go to the Credit Union it is time to have fun with the teller. When I mow the grass I make a game out of how I am going to go about it this time. Life is a fun adventure all the time, turning what I have to do into something that amuses me. I am very engaged, for example, while reading and responding to your blogs, not always having fun or messing with you, but following my muse nonetheless.

    It has been said that “only boring people are ever bored.” I embrace that notion and expand on it. Only hateful people live in a world of hate. Only playful people live in a world of fun. Only creative people live in a world of art. Only friendly people have real friends. Only loving people have love.

    You have what you bring to the table. My wish for you is that you stop looking back so much except to spin your past into meanings that you wish to carry forward in a positive light like, I learned I don’t want to be hurt that way again. Mostly, though, tending to now and the immediate future is the world I am most happy living in.

    1. I have been reading some of the replies to this thread and find your viewpoint flawed, as looking back is important my friend. For one it helps to evaluate where we have already been and what we are doing now and besides, to erase the past is an unconstructive response as past experiences serves as learning curves for the future.

      Have a good day Jim.

      1. I kind of tend to agree with ya! What wisdom in your words!!!

        You said>>>>

        For one it helps to evaluate where we have already been and what we are doing now and besides, to erase the past is an unconstructive response as past experiences serves as learning curves for the future.

        Your words in just this reply are artful!
        Lets just say that I am writing a book hoping that my experiences help other in their learning curve!
        I tend to look back A LOT and am constantly being told not to. It is refreshing to have someone not agree! Believe me it is very refreshing!

        1. Looking back is an important part of discovering who we are, for if we dismiss our past experiences then how is one to learn?

          Logic tells me that accepting the past and nurturing the present builds positive foundations for the future.

          Never feel awkward about finding your own path, and if the past helps you towards this goal then so be it 🙂

          Have a lovely day today…

  2. At 10 it seemed as though time stood still, at 16 I couldn’t wait to get a driver license; then magically it was 18 and graduation….then on to 21 – time started to speed up….magically I was suddenly 40; then time and years went by in a blur until suddenly I awakened one day and realized my children were my grandchildren and I was my mother….time had left me and I was in the winter of my years.

    Your posts are very interesting. thank you for your visit and comment – then I found you…

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