I was trying to explain something to my husband this morning and it turned into a huge discussion that kind of spoiled my good mood. He is the kind that can just brush his shoes off and move on while I am left wallowing in the mud where I feel my heart was dropped, feeling misunderstood and judged. I think that It might be a guy thing. Maybe I am just expecting too much from them~ or… of anyone for that matter, maybe it is a lot to ask to be understood.  Who knows, All I know is that it feels good when it doesn’t seem to take so much work to just feel “GOTTEN”. And at certain important times of my life, I have felt more understood than others and have appreciated the ones doing the understanding.

I tried to remember another time when I felt that way and it was with a different husband a couple of decades earlier. I was almost 8 months pregnant and something happened on a particular day that impacted me in such a way that I even remember her name. If you know me at all, I know a lot of people and it takes a while for names to register so it is especially impressive that I remember one that I spent just a few days with almost 25 years ago.

It was the day that Jessica McClure fell down the well. I began following the story as soon as it aired. It was about a little eighteen month old baby girl who had fallen down a well in her aunt’s backyard in Texas.  I was just one of many, who tuned in to pray and watch the story unfold. Hour after hour, even day after day, we listened to her mom call down as they sung “Winnie The Pooh” together through that small hole she was wedged into and it did me in. I think I cried and prayed more in those two days than I ever had in my life except for maybe the day that my dad died. I am not sure if it was because I was pregnant and emotional or my little niece was about the same age but I  bonded to that mom and her baby, praying and watching along with the rest of the world as the crews of heroes went about rescuing her and strangers began donating equipment to help with her excavation , after two days , even my husband was watching and praying with me.

But just as they were about ready to pull her out, he went across the street. I asked him to wait and watch with me but he just had to go get high at the party house. Even though we did not divorce until several years later, I remember knowing at that moment that our marriage was doomed.

And like I said earlier… I am not sure why that exact second impacted me so much but it has stayed with me like “A Kennedy Moment” for all these years. I watched as they pulled that baby out of the well and praised the Lord and loved the heroes involved. All by myself, as tears streamed down my cheeks watching it all finally come to cohesion  alone in my living room. I remember going across the street later and finding the coverage on there too. I let it all register for a few minutes without saying anything and then I burst into tears as I kind of surveyed the whole scenario, as if my future was being played out right in front of me (and little did I know right then, but it was) as my husband kind of looked at me cluelessly, as I said, “I can’t believe that you couldn’t have waited two minutes to share that experience with me.”

I am so sure that, my neighbor’s houseful of friends all in their haze of being high and all childless, had not a clue in the world what was the matter with me, but the fact that my husband didn’t “GET” it resonated clearly in that instance. Even though our divorce was due to something completely different years later, I think that, THAT day I knew it was just a matter of time before the other shoe would fall.

Today I have a wonderful husband who tries to understand my Jessica McClure moments and even though he may not get them all. And even though today it still takes a lot of work to really feel that he understands the things important to me, I pretty much know that he would not have gone across the street that day and he would have stayed to watch the rescue with me. At the very least,  I know that he makes the effort to stick around everytime  I wander back to the well. I can still feel the tears when I remember that little voice faintly singing up the tune; “Winnie the pooh, winnie the pooh, silly old bear.” And to this day, I thank God for the heroes that never gave up. The elation we all felt as a nation as we watched those beautiful men pull her up alive. It makes me realize that I have heroes in my own life that I thank God for. Especially, the ones who never give up on me.

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19 thoughts on “The Well

  1. How beautfully written and expressed! I remember so well when Jessica fell in that well. I was pregnant with my second child. We made a song up for her after she was rescued. I remember her singing Jingle Bells from in the well. So heart wrenching, it gives me goose bumps now. I read an article about her awhile ago, all grown up.
    Thank you for your beautiful heart and blog!

  2. Hard your ex couldn’t wait a couple more minutes. When my wife Cathy is so invested in something I will at least humor her if I can’t understand what is so important. I have tried going to the synagogue with her and between all the Hebrew and the off pitch singing I couldn’t take it. But I will drive her out one way 40 minutes, see her in, go to the book store coffee shop and be back before the service is over and take her home or to the mall afterward. After she saw the Barnes & Noble coffee shop at the mall now she wants to go there instead too. WiFi, coffee, treats, and, um, books.

    I do try to understand what is important to her and when I can’t I still humor her. And she humors me. Hell, if there is a hot girl in line of sight she makes sure I notice before the moment is gone. But, yeah, we have enough in common and beyond that we cut each other a lot of slack for things we just don’t get.

    It matters to me that something matters to my wife. Even if I have to back off a friendship to make her feel more secure. Your spouse is supposed to come first and if that is not the case then some hard thinking about the relationship ought to take place.

  3. This one just happened to jump at me because of a misplaced mouse click, but as you say the title grabbed me. There are defining moments in our live, many people have told me that they knew the time their marriage ended long before they ever vocalized it, or thought of seeing a lawyer. But the point is, and you say it her over and over “I felt … ‘ – it is important to know that woman see the world through feeling, whereas men see the world through desire, then view the yin and yang diagram, and you start to see the relationship between the tow, so that when woman start to understand their desires, and men start to get a grasp on their feeling, then communication begins, and relationships come in to balance. Great story. I remember the whole episode … it was a media circus …

      1. It has taken many years, my wife (2nd) and I are celebrating our 13th Wedding Anniversary on Wed, and we are together now for 20. I find it more and more important to let my life (our life) be an example … Thank you 😉

    1. I have one who tries really hard to GET me. Maybe I need to just start appreciating what I do have. But I’m so darn greedy! This morning just seemed to resonate just how much I’m not GOTTEN sometimes…But as I wrote my blog… I realized that maybe a bird in the hand is better than two in the bush…. smile.

      1. Sometimes some men cannot GET us when we are showing any kind of emotion…it seems to turn them off. I would suggest to pray and ask God to guide you to accept your hubby as he is and to show you how to let him know you appreciate him at the times you sense he acctually GETs you.
        We women tend to want to change them to meet our needs, which is when we remember that we fell in love with them the way they are 🙂

  4. What a beautiful entry. I remember that event vividly too. Just like you I was mesmerized…I remember crying, praying and cheering. I can also relate to your feelings of your husband not “getting” you sometimes. I still have those moments, but then I remember that God created me….a woman…with strong emotions. He created my husband to be strong and the leader of our household. It’s funny how I don’t think things bug him and then days or weeks later he’ll comment that the reason he couldn’t sleep for 3 nights was because he was worried about something one of our kids was going through. Anyway, I really enjoyed this.

  5. Aww whoever said men were not work, never met one! LOL But it seems like you have a good one. Even when they slip they are still worth the work. I do believe it when you said it must be a man thing.. Your awesome so don’t ever forget that! I bet your husband would agree.. big Cyber hug coming your way today!!! God bless you always.

    1. Lyn,
      yeah huh? That was a crazy few days. It made an impact on me forever! Funny, I heard she is 25 now and doesn’t remember any of it! (Thankfully) But how funny, I can remember so many details of that day. God Bless your day too!

        1. Lyn I did it again… didn’t reply where I was supposed to again!!! After over 80 posts you would think I would get it right! Anywaaay, it was in 1987 when the Jessica McClure thing happened. You are right. It is crazy how time flies by so fast!

          1. All I know is I remember it…and it was very very upsetting..In 1987 I would have been still in school…high school. Man you’re making feel old! LOL!! ha ha ha! No need for any apologies! God bless you!!!!!!

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