I wake up with a prayer
in my heart everyday now
since we heard the news
tests and more tests
and the tension
in the corner of our little world is thick.
As life goes on as usual
I remember…
When my dad died….
I saw the men
laughing and joking
My heart lifted… perhaps he was okay
surely those EMTs would not be so lighthearted
if they had just lost someone!
And yet maybe they have learned to be that way
because he was gone.
My heart went cold that day
My walls went up
to protect me from love and hurt and pain
Until my little tiny son asked me…
“Mommy, when are you going to stop crying all day?”
I knew right then, I needed to snap out of it.
And so I did
And yet, today I need someone
to make me snap out of it
so that I can live again
I pray constantly that it will all be okay
I don’t believe that God
has anything to do with illness and death
HE is a God of life and miracles
And yet maybe HE uses times like these
The down on your knees pleading times
to remind us that we need HIM
more than just times like now
to fall on our knees daily
even when times are good
so that when He finds us
In times like these….
It won’t be any different for Him
to find us on our knees.
The One Thing I know For Sure 
At the end of the fifth book of the Bible is “The Song of Moses.” It is one frightening section where God pledges to slaughter the Jews almost to a man every time they stray and that He will side with their enemies until they return to Him and then he will love them again . . . lather, rinse, repeat.
I will not pursue the analogy, it is not my place. Reading your prose/poem made me think of that. I mean nothing by it.
Very good…
Hang in there
I’ve dealt with the same.
Thanks Frank!
And for your time as well!
I send lots of love to you and your father-in-law, and I hope everything turns out okay. Lots of healing hugs too.
Yaz, Thank you so much! With so much love and prayers from your guys… I am expecting a miracle!
Death is something that is out of our control….We cry because we think of the past with them and the future without them, but we need to live for them. The believe in something above us is what gives us the faith to continue to rise. I am not a hands and knee kind of guy; I show my thanks by lifting others when they need assistance to stand. God knows I am appreciative by continuing to carry the strength I am given and sharing it with others. I only see forwarded because behind me can’t be traced; only remembered!!!!
I need to be inspired by forward thinking strong people! I will follow close behind!
That is why I like this blog… it is like a measuring tape of where we have come and to unknown heights of where we are headed.
Inspiration is all around us; it rediates through our sense. We can touch, smell, hear, see and tasted it. Life is a collection that we have to piece together. Every piece found motivates us to find the next. “Nouns continue to fuel our verbs into perfectly placed home that house our infinite potential” !!!!
One of the best parts of having so many blogger friends is when they lift us or our loved ones in prayer when we share our need. You and yours are in my prayers.
Ann, you are so right! I am so grateful for you guys!
Rats… Girl, do I “know” what you’re going through. I know that’s an awful thing to say to someone at a time like this…but I lost 9 members of my family in a two year time span.
Losing a parent is hard. I will pray for peace, restoration, and Divine healing for your father-in-law. God has already gone before him… He is with him now.
As far as those EMT’s laughing when your dad had passed…All I can say is what assholes? I don’t care how desensitized you are or how long you’ve been on the job. They should have shown some respect. My mother was a retired Ft. Worth Police officer. I know that she knew how to “conduct” herself when others were suffering. Those EMT’s were jackasses. Pardon my French. You know that I’m the cursing Christian sometimes… lol
Love you,
Ava
Ava you are a hoot! I love you! Thank you for making me smile! Sorry about your losses! You are a walking testimony with such a sweet heart!
May you find peace in the days ahead…so beautifully written in a time of loss and sorrow BUT what a message…
In times like these….
It won’t be any different for Him
to find us on our knees.
So very tough to lose a father and your poem touched my heart when I read it. I will keep your father-in-law in my prayers.
Thank you so much! That means a lot! Thank you for taking the time to read and pray! I am blessed by your presence!
Sorry to hear about your dad and the loss you felt. You remind us how precious life really is. Also, that we shouldn’t just be on our knees when times are rough but when life is going good too. Guess it’s about living in a place of thanksgiving. Very nice, Diane.
Thank you so much! Yes… every day is a challenge to remember to be grateful when things are going well and not so well…when you feel like the only place to be is on your knees which should be a constant…even when things are going well! Thank you for your words!
Wow, this touched me so much this morning. My daddy was 48 when he passed away from non-Hodgkins Lymphoma, and I can’t believe it’s been nearly 3 years. Just last night I pulled out a picture of him as a child and was missing him terribly. But he was ready to leave and be with the Lord. (I wrote a little about this in My Heavenly Father’s Day) I KNOW that if he had fought he’d still be here because as you said “HE is a God of life and miracles”. He is a healing God and ALL good things come from Him!! Do your best not to be anxious as your family waits. (Philippians 4:4-7) Trust in the Lord and rely in His faithfulness! I have all of you in my prayers!!
I am so blessed to share a part of the story of your Daddy! I was touched that you had his picture out and were touched by this! Isn’t God the best? He keeps connecting us all as we need the times of connection. I love who He has placed in my path in way of this family of His who share the same passion. Thank you for your prayers! I will keep you all posted!
Please do! God is able!!!!!
Beautiful written …. about lost and grief … and love. Not a believer as such – but I find amazing and I’m so happy that others can get their strength and power through their believes. Just like you describe here – wonderful to read.
Viveka, I am so touched and honored that you take the time to read my words! You are a talented soul and I am glad you are in my life! Thank you!
Thank you ever so much .. for your kind words. I’m talent in some areas … and totally stupid when it comes to others. Just like the rest of you. *laughter
Thank you! That means a lot coming from you! My sweet prayer warrior. They found a golf sized tumor on my Father in law’s bladder… Haven’t had to deal with parent stuff since my dad died. I appreciate your prayers! Will know more in two weeks after his surgery to remove it.
Off to work… having to keep moving…
please keep me posted.. did you not get my FB request Tracey Blahblahblah? Have a great day at work my friend..
Very touching… How you doing? Got you guys in my heart and prayers today! Just know God has you all wrapped in his loving arms…
Drell~ Did it again… answered in the general writing area… argh! But wanted to make sure you know that I thanked you!