I wake up with a prayer
in my heart everyday now
since we heard the news
tests and more tests
and the tension
in the corner of our little world is thick.
As life goes on as usual
When my dad died….
I saw the men
laughing and joking
My heart lifted… perhaps he was okay
surely those EMTs would not be so lighthearted
if they had just lost someone!
And yet maybe they have learned to be that way
because he was gone.
My heart went cold that day
My walls went up
to protect me from love and hurt and pain
Until my little tiny son asked me…
“Mommy, when are you going to stop crying all day?”
I knew right then, I needed to snap out of it.
And so I did
And yet, today I need someone
to make me snap out of it
so that I can live again
I pray constantly that it will all be okay
I don’t believe that God
has anything to do with illness and death
HE is a God of life and miracles
And yet maybe HE uses times like these
The down on your knees pleading times
to remind us that we need HIM
more than just times like now
to fall on our knees daily
even when times are good
so that when He finds us
In times like these….
It won’t be any different for Him
to find us on our knees.