My last car was a stick shift. My husband predicted that I would be sorry that I got it. But with just a year of payments left on it, I still loved it. I wanted a sun roof too but thought that’s okay. Recently, I walked past a convertable, and my heart skipped a beat. Forget the sunroof!  I thought, I know what I want next!



Smile… and sigh…

Now if that’s not the classic signs of a mid life crisis… I don’t know what is… or do I?

I ended up handing my stick shift down to my daughter and buying a new car with a sunroof. I don’t truly need a convertable now do I?because I know that is not what I really want. What I really want is my youth back!

I remember once when I was about twenty. My friend’s dad had bought an old refurbished T-bird convertable. He wanted to take me for a spin in his classic car to show it off to me. With a “Kenny Nolan” tape playing in the tape deck we whipped around the hills of Palos Verdes. I remember thinking… he is having an affair. His wife was sick and had not been a wife to him for years. It turned out that I was right. I got some of their furniture out of that divorce for my first little apartment. It was very sad.

I remember thinking how old he was and marvling at the fact that he was listening to songs about new love and feeling that it was all very “creepy” at the time. I look back now and have to laugh. He was younger than I am now and that memory has come back to hit me smack in the face. As I find myself in a legitimate Mid Life Crisis of my own. I am officially grieving my youth.

Recently I have had the opportunity to go down memory lane with an old friend. And it has felt good. To lose myself in the fantasy of the past and what could have been to help numb the reality of today where all those dreams I had to look forward to were lost like that classic little white T-bird. I play my own love songs now and mourn for something more than just an old love but for the girl I was so many decades ago.

Now I find myself driving around the hills of Palos Verdes and NOT feeling sorry for the old man in the driver’s seat all those years ago.
(Disclaimer~ I found this on an old blog I wrote over a year ago… sooo no lectures needed…about feeling just fine in the skin I am in now… I GET IT!)

13 thoughts on “Who Is Driving Now?

  1. I’m glad you get “being comfortable in your own skin.” I’ll just move on to the next post, nothing to see here. There is right now and what is before you and the state you are in, that’s all anyone has and to deny that is to not be alive.

  2. My dream car is a SAAB convertible … but that race is done – they have shut down now .. Chinese’s electric cars instead. I think every girl should have a convertible … let the hair get all messed up. Still congratulations to the sunroof.

    1. lol viv~ Mine was a Covair!!! They don’t make those anymore either…. And then I HAD to have a brown 450SL convertable with a tan top! When I was driving a Vega! Argh! And then a Fiat! Not a Spider or anything cool… a 128 boxy little thing!

      1. I haven’t been driving since our car accident – don’t miss it at all anymore – I was only 20 and just got my licence. Today I’m glad that I don’t have a car – far too expensive. Love looking at them still.

  3. Oh this reminds me of an MG Midget car I had in college.. Loved that convertible and yes, I would love to have it (& my youth) back now!!

    1. Ahhh my boyfriend was all into MGs… dragged me to all the car lots! He had a Triumph Spitfire. I spent more nights studying up on the racks as he worked on the rear end… not mine!!! lol. The suspension on his car!

  4. The world was making you wish for youth. Everywhere you look we deny age and wisdom, we are sold frivolity and youth like it were a prize. Having some year behind me now I can say youth is a fire that consumes us until the wisdom that time graciously grants to us finds its way through the flame. Age would by the convertible for the closeness to the sky…. Why not a Jeep?

  5. There you go again….wish for your youth. That would mean no daughter, husband, just a free bird searching for a nest all over again. Well you have the nest now, you lived, and you’re still living. would you really replace all that is valuable for youthfulness???? Would you truly go back to collecting when you have collected so much???? I am sure your older age has widened your heart, and made you the person you are presently. Plus we wouldn’t have met and I am enjoying the older you!!!! So, maybe I just have self-interest at hand…..enjoy your memories, stop wishing to relive them. You are life’s moments and you didn’t miss a thing!!!!

    1. Ohhh Brashy,
      At first I thought… Didn’t he even see my disclaimer??? But you know what? I guess even finding that on another blog and posting it here, made me open game for your comments and they are good ones and I thank you! Somehow I do know that these ARE the good old days and the best are yet to be. Thanks for kicking me in the proverbial butt!

  6. LOL no lectures here.. I must be strange, but I have no desire to ever go back to my youth… what are you like 37 “wink” and already a mid life crisis? LOL Oh dear girl.. your post always makes me smile and think. Have a blessed day my friend…

    1. coastalmom
      Oct 24, 2012 @ 12:00:18 [Edit]

      Well T~ I love that you say that… and 37 was a good year. And we know each other enough now that I know you know my true age. LOL. But thanks for reminding me that I wasted my 49th year by worrying about turning 50 not too long ago! I do need to embrace today. My inlaws bought their first boat at my age and learned to water ski!

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