It was your choice.

Though,

maybe it was mine…

Stepping back

into

our consecutive worlds.

walking in the sand

The circle was broken

long ago.

broken glass

You pulled until

unraveling rope

I had to

stop it,

in fear it would unravel altogether,

my heart

that is…

heart unraveling2

Like stepping on the threads,

foot on cord

you yanked

and I was no longer there

No more tugging back

rope

I felt your anger

Or maybe your pain

when you stopped pulling.

You saved yourself.

sad guy under tree

Not caring for

“the crumbs”

crumbs

you felt were being

“thrown at you.”

And I wonder,

when you  stopped….

Was it  to save me?

Or was it to save you?

sad man silloette

Ahhhh! Still…

  the unanswered questions.

Like the ones that kept me hanging on

Wanting answers…

young girl running away from yelling boyfriend

Always wanting answers…

All over again…

are you sad,

angry?

ALIVE?

girl looking out window

All of these years…

ALWAYS,  so many QUESTIONS!!!!!!

And yet I have come to realize

Closure is a myth!!!!

couple hugging melancholy woman's face

Closure is just an excuse

to try to explain

the madness of it all

We need to save ourselves,

run with what little dignity we have left.

footprints looking back

You may feel that you chose me,

but you chose you.

Nothing has changed.

fighting through door

And so finally, after all of this TIME

Just maybe…

 I have finally learned how to choose

me.

girl running

Maybe there is such a thing as closure?

Yeah just like there really is a Santa Claus.

santa claus winking

By

Diane Reed

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23 thoughts on “Closure

  1. I think “closure”, if that is even a proper term for what we feel, has to come from within, and really doesn’t require anyone else to participate. You alluded to it in what you wrote when you mentioned choosing, and learning to choose “me”…, and I agree with Viveka, you can’t carry that turmoil you feel forever or eventually it leads to emotional paralysis. Walked the mile, carried the load, and, it took a while, but it’s finally gone. Hope it is for you too.
    Paul

    1. Paul,
      Such profound thoughts! Thank you for your time in reading and commenting! Funny, those are the gifts that mean the most… someone taking time to do something for me or about me that means a lot to me.
      You are right. Though I have carried my pain for a few dozen years… I am learning that I have realized that I don’t think about it for a minute, and then an hour and then perhaps a whole day might go by… I am holding out hope for healing! Thank you!

  2. Poignant words. Too often we rely on others to fill some void, thinking “closure” is the answer to our peace. God is the only one with the final say, and all peace resides by being in Him.

  3. So all in all, I am so blessed to have so many wise perspectives. I was at work as they started coming in, I read all your replies to a friend who also has added hers as well through out my recent journey and as I read them all “aloud” we looked at each other….realizing how wise each one sounded…. Maybe, that is what you “get” when you hang out with “writers”…. a higher caliber or wisdom! Whatever it may be. I am blessed! I needed some fresh material for my book as I keep editing.
    Thank you to all who took the time to read and then to comment.

  4. This is beautiful and so well written! Perhaps there was “closure” for one, but not the other. sometimes one of us holds on longer remembering only the fairytale parts and they end with closure because they concentrate on all the negativity or bad things. Just a thought… 😀

  5. So true, Diane! Closure is as “real” as Santa Claus. I agree that there is no such thing. Our hearts will always be on the mend. It is a continuous process. Unfortunately, healing is not so cut and dry!

      1. Good, because we can’t drag … everythinng with us – even if do closure with the other person – we can do with ourselves. Glad to read that you’re rethinking.

        1. Yep, I know what I know and what is right…this place is just my soft place to fall, where I spill out the ramblings of my heart.. right or wrong… and then I take the truth and try to live with it!

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