It was your choice.
Though,
maybe it was mine…
Stepping back
into
our consecutive worlds.
The circle was broken
long ago.
You pulled until
I had to
stop it,
in fear it would unravel altogether,
my heart
that is…
Like stepping on the threads,
you yanked
and I was no longer there
No more tugging back
I felt your anger
Or maybe your pain
when you stopped pulling.
You saved yourself.
Not caring for
“the crumbs”
you felt were being
“thrown at you.”
And I wonder,
when you stopped….
Was it to save me?
Or was it to save you?
Ahhhh! Still…
the unanswered questions.
Like the ones that kept me hanging on
Wanting answers…
Always wanting answers…
All over again…
are you sad,
angry?
ALIVE?
All of these years…
ALWAYS, so many QUESTIONS!!!!!!
And yet I have come to realize
Closure is a myth!!!!
Closure is just an excuse
to try to explain
the madness of it all
We need to save ourselves,
run with what little dignity we have left.
You may feel that you chose me,
but you chose you.
Nothing has changed.
And so finally, after all of this TIME
Just maybe…
I have finally learned how to choose
me.
Maybe there is such a thing as closure?
Yeah just like there really is a Santa Claus.
By
Diane Reed
I think “closure”, if that is even a proper term for what we feel, has to come from within, and really doesn’t require anyone else to participate. You alluded to it in what you wrote when you mentioned choosing, and learning to choose “me”…, and I agree with Viveka, you can’t carry that turmoil you feel forever or eventually it leads to emotional paralysis. Walked the mile, carried the load, and, it took a while, but it’s finally gone. Hope it is for you too.
Paul
Paul,
Such profound thoughts! Thank you for your time in reading and commenting! Funny, those are the gifts that mean the most… someone taking time to do something for me or about me that means a lot to me.
You are right. Though I have carried my pain for a few dozen years… I am learning that I have realized that I don’t think about it for a minute, and then an hour and then perhaps a whole day might go by… I am holding out hope for healing! Thank you!
This is frenetic. It just pulls and pulls….
Wow… thank you Seb! Love your metaphors as always!
Poignant words. Too often we rely on others to fill some void, thinking “closure” is the answer to our peace. God is the only one with the final say, and all peace resides by being in Him.
I am learning that! Thank you for your wisdom!
Impressive thoughts and wisdom. So glad I “stopped by” and had this chance to look and feel. Thanks
Thank you for stopping by and for the kind words!
So all in all, I am so blessed to have so many wise perspectives. I was at work as they started coming in, I read all your replies to a friend who also has added hers as well through out my recent journey and as I read them all “aloud” we looked at each other….realizing how wise each one sounded…. Maybe, that is what you “get” when you hang out with “writers”…. a higher caliber or wisdom! Whatever it may be. I am blessed! I needed some fresh material for my book as I keep editing.
Thank you to all who took the time to read and then to comment.
Beautifully written!
Thank you so much!
Reading this brought to mind something I had written about it some time ago. If you would care to read here is the link to “Closure”
http://grandfathersky.wordpress.com/2011/12/27/closure/
How funny. Great minds think alike.
I loved your poem and your thoughts!
This is beautiful and so well written! Perhaps there was “closure” for one, but not the other. sometimes one of us holds on longer remembering only the fairytale parts and they end with closure because they concentrate on all the negativity or bad things. Just a thought… 😀
amazingly simple. Thank you! Sometimes thought the problem is when both don’t know how to let go…
So true, Diane! Closure is as “real” as Santa Claus. I agree that there is no such thing. Our hearts will always be on the mend. It is a continuous process. Unfortunately, healing is not so cut and dry!
So true, not cut and dry. Too bad. Huh?
I would say there is a closure … if there wasn’t we wouldn’t be able to move on and walk on. Otherwise we would be constant victims.
Now that is very thought stopping… It stopped me in my tracks. You are right. Victims are so not attractive. Surely not what I strive to be. Thanks for your thoughts!
Good, because we can’t drag … everythinng with us – even if do closure with the other person – we can do with ourselves. Glad to read that you’re rethinking.
Yep, I know what I know and what is right…this place is just my soft place to fall, where I spill out the ramblings of my heart.. right or wrong… and then I take the truth and try to live with it!
I agree. No such thing as closure.
Thanks for reading Yaz! I tend to feel like Grandfathersky… just a much overused word!