An Exercise in Finding The Joy

(I was challenged to find the joy by a friend, “Take Light”  here on my blog… here is my first stab at it! Please be kind… I have been stuck in yesterday for far too long! Thanks! I needed that kick in the butt!)

I thought I’d use the metaphor of jogging to start exercising my heart and preparing it for the joy I plan to round up!

Like tying my shoes before a run,
imagining how I’ll feel when I’m done~
I walk out the door with my ipod on,
facing the chill as my eyes kiss the dawn~

first, I start to walk slowly and then pick up speed,
knowing that this very moment, is all that I need~
Words dance through my head and into my heart,
realizing this is the way to make the words start~

This writing hiatus that I have been on,
was all stuck in my past and now released in my dawn~

So… as the sun rises, I see HIS grand work of art
and in the act of just living I’ve found joy in my heart!

Diane Reed ’13

                                                                                                                          Here’s to living IN TODAY from now on!!!!!

The Places That Hurt Before

Her heart was bruised
and a little misused,
she learned at a young age
how it could break~

Years went by
and life went on,
she learned the games
of give and take~

But she always wandered back
into the forest of her yesterdays~
looking past the shadows
losing her way inside the maze~

Now the bruises on her heart…
They don’t hurt much anymore~
unless you push very hard
on the places that hurt before.

Diane Reed ’13

Passions

I am back! From LA and the buying trip I went on.

I visited my friend Jody and got to spend girl time with my baby who has surprised me and become Vegan. And so we had a few foodie moments this trip.

Making falafels and trying out a new Vegan restaurant.

She is inspiring and very healthy but it is more than just health for her and she has inspired me to be more aware and I am so proud of her passion when she has a conviction. She went shopping with me and so we got both ends of the taste spectrum. Her trendy and young version and my safe, conservative, what Paso Robles peeps are (hopefully) buying!

I do need to go and price everything but first I wanted to stop in here for a few and say that I have missed you all terribly and just wanted to catch up for a minute.

If you recall, I was off to write a song as well.

Well, I must say that the melody that I was given inspired me to write a more spiritual song which is not what he (my song writer friend) was looking for and he said that in fact, his inspiration was derived from the few chapters of my book that I posted here

a few months ago, which by the way, he was not overly complimentary of. So I was touched that he would take the time to find inspiration from my story.

I have sent him snippits of what I came up with. It was not my best work. Something was missing. And I think that I know what it was. Passion. It is not that the song was not good. It was not that I am really not a song writer. I think it is just because there is work I must do and it is to finish my book

.

I have a raw and un-nerving passion that makes me trudge on. It may take a lot of hard work and soul searching but I am passionate about the message behind the story and this was a good wake up call.  I need to focus on more things with passion. I have realized that lately when that little ingredient is missing, I am not in a place where I should be.

Here is to finding my way back to the place where I can find the passion

and

the words again.

Finding Diane

I have been given the opportunity to write the lyrics to a song!

I am playing it in the background as I write this to you guys in hopes that my writer’s block will break!

A friend that I made here, is a musician and teacher. And sent me a piece that he had written especially for me. He even called it “Finding Diane” probably due to the theme of all my pieces. I guess that I do write as if I need to be found, like Alice looking down the rabbit hole.

I have written about going back and finding pieces of me along the way. I know that I live in the past, I have a lot of regrets and am working on going back and getting the part of me that I left behind all those years ago, for once and for ALL.

I try to write so that others might learn from my mistakes.

I have been struggling to find the right place to even start.

I have a million beginnings but when I think that I have hit on something, and come back to it. It sounds cheesy when I read it.

I want to honor the beauty of the music that seemed so easy for him to write.

It is funny, because poetry is so effortless for me. It usually is the easiest thing for me to write. So forgiving and natural, as if it is a part of me. But this is all about math and cadence and I want to say it all in different places where it doesn’t seem to fit.

I haven’t ever had this problem before. Even when I was younger, it didn’t take too long for me to write what I wanted. And I have written songs before. Several. I guess I worked on those too for a while. But I didn’t feel that they would be as judged, maybe… or maybe it is just because I am so much older and judge myself more now.

Today, I thought maybe if I wrote you all, I could find the part of me that is holding back, and hoarding the words I need!!!!!

I will be back once I have it!!

Never Mind

“Never mind” she wrote.

Her sentence broke,

she stopped in the middle

saying  much with so little.

“Never mind means more” he said.

His words still danced in her head.

He was right you know,

he knew, but even so,

she smiled as she read

what he had said…

“Never mind is like saying

 let me go”

But we really know…

It means, “hold me tight”.

Yes, he was right,

and so she begins to say…

 “maybe you could stay”.

But the words are hard to find…

“Oh just never mind”.

Diane Reed ’13

Say… “It’s Going To Be Okay”

The war ” inside”

has me dancing in this bubble

as if walking along the ocean’s ebb

and floating over a sea of trouble

I find solace inside my head

wrapped inside your arms~

In a place so safe and warm

far from  earthly harms~

And yet I know

eventually,

I will have to go

to face my life

to make the choice~

 to learn to listen

to the  voice~

 As you wrap your words around me

and I hear you say….

in words

that that takes my breath away…

“Don’t worry

No,

don’t worry,

Oh my child,

don’t worry~

it’s going to be okay”.

Diane Reed ’13

My own words

My words find me

alone in my room~

They keep me company

like a familiar tune~

From the time I was small

I’ve brought them along,

they comfort me

when all else goes wrong~

My words come from

a place deep inside,

where my tears and my love

all tend to reside~

At times I have written only for me

and others, just for you~

No matter what, where ever I go,

They’ll always come along too~

They are easy to bring.

they don’t take much room~

I’ve carried them with me

since; there in the womb~

Judge them or love them

but don’t take them away~

For without my own words

I’d have nothing to say~

   

Diane Reed

2013

When You Make Love To My Words

Living this life

under a million stars

 

forgetting the pain

but feeling the scars

holding my face

in the palm of your hands

making love to my words

only you understand

connecting,

validating,

inside my soul

When you read my words

It is my heart

that you hold.

And when you

say them out loud

so that I know that you heard

It is in that moment

 you make love to my words.

Diane Reed       2013

Share this:

I wish I had read this when I was single. I wish I could gather these words up and make every young single person memorize this! This is utterly some of the best wisdom for those who think that they are in love and may not be. And confirmation for those who know that they know that in their case…. two are better than one!

Wise Counsel

Marriage Sms/Text Message

May this union be the begining of greater heights for you.
May your societal & universal relevance continue to increase.
Two are better than one.
Congratulations!
Happy Married Life!

Nnamonu Tochukwu.
Teecee.

A friend of mine just got married, I hope life becomes more beautiful for him and his wife. I just articulated my wishes and declaration for them into a text message/sms.

In my opinion, marriage is the peak of human collaboration. It must be handled with reverence. Marriage should enhance us, and not limit us. A spouse is a life partner. The criteria for selection of a life partner must not be flimsy. Choice of a life partner must be preferably, impeccable. Your spouse must be someone that you can share “forever” with.
Always say what you mean, and mean what you say to your spouse, or the person you intend to marry.
These are…

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Ambivalence

I step over the line
And then I look back
as the fragrance of the moment lasts

I hold today loosely
as it slips through the cracks
and I fall into step
with this dance

Like a feather falling
I hear your soul calling
as it brushes my heart
and then lingers

Like hugging sand
when the hour glass breaks

Just time
running through our fingers….

Diane Reed 2013