Through Rose Colored Glasses


footprints picture

I have been reflecting on friendships this week. No doubt due to losing Lucy. It has made me re-evaluate so many things in my life. My heart is full and yet my brain has kind of kicked in. I have been going down a very revealing journey of self discovery the last few days and the familiar saying: Some people touch your lives for a little while and others leave footprints on your heart forever…  comes to mind. But currently I am in kind of a dark place where I feel like twisting that sentiment around a bit and adding…. There are also the friends that trudge all over your heart.

bruised heart

Some things are comforting because they never change. Like Lucy, she was who she was. She was always my soft place to fall. I never came to her to have her always agree with me, but to get the truth. It was a refreshing friendship because no matter what, she could tell me like it was and I could tell her and it was just a safe place. I never worried about her sharing my secrets or divulging my mistakes. She was my Fortress of unconditional love. It didn’t matter if I was in a horrible place in my life. She loved me through it. Like a mother loves a child. Like the best in best friend.

In my life I think I expected that from everyone. I think that I really had blinders on when I chose different people in my life, at work and historically in my own personal life, and it baffles me now what I didn’t see. There was a time in my life where I put one particular friend on a pedestal while I kind of let another one tread water waiting for me to see the truth.

cartoon standing on a pedestal

As I look back I wonder why I was so blinded by admiration. Another couple of friends at work made me believe that they were friends. They gossiped behind the backs of others there, just as much as any of the REAL HOUSEWIVES! In fact, they could give them a run for their money! The thing I don’t get is why was I so blown away when I finally discovered that they were talking about me as well, when I wasn’t in their presence?

Friends have come and gone. Some are there because I’ve chosen them (adult made friendships). Some historically (childhood friendships) are still there because we’ve chosen to work on them to nurture them. Those are the most difficult when you realize you have outgrown them. A while back, I met a friend I hadn’t seen in years. She was a part of my everyday life as a teenager. In just our short lunch together, she had proceeded to insult a homeless boy begging and said such hateful things to him and then tried to justify it to me, that I felt I was with a stranger and yet in that moment, I realized I was seeing things about her that I’d overlooked all our lives. I have really been reflecting on many of my friendships lately and it has been an eye opener. As I have also reflected on my own junk that I bring. There are more sayings such as…. You will always be my best friend… you know too much…. Or…  Best friends know everything about you and love you anyway…

I want to be that kind of friend… I want to be the one that doesn’t want to point out the bad in my friends, the one who accepts them where they are. But at times when something huge happens like it did for me this week, you get reflective and perhaps a little cynical. For today… I think I let the cynicism win out. I’ve written about friends before on my blog, even given them their very own post of the day.

Currently, I am just in reflection mode. I have so many lifetime friends that I am thankful for! So many readers who have made me look past my own doorstep and embrace the friendships not even made yet. Funny how once upon a time, I thought I had enough friends. What a horrible thought! Never to be open to the possibility of more. A kind of friendship suicide. Cutting myself off from the opportunity of the joy I have recently experienced in new friendships in my life here and in my own little corner of the world. I also realize that I am just in a bit of a depression and rightly so. Nothing organic going on here! I just lost one of my best friends and I’ve woken up each day realizing she is gone. It is the first thing I think of every day since. But I know that time heals all wounds and though I will miss her, the pain will ease. As in the things bothering me today. And so I will not close the book, I will keep reading, finish the chapter and move on to the next.

But for now just humor me please as I share my poem about being disillusioned over certain friendships. A bit of purging here. Not my usual uplifting stanzas (that was a joke!) But I really do…. I promise I will have a better outlook tomorrow!

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Through Rose Colored Glasses

You see it your way with rose colored glasses

the world is all wrong and we are all asses!

rose colored broken glasses

It couldn’t be you, in all your perfection

no, not a flaw in your perfect perception!

We are just sensitive when we judge your approach

you never see the way you jump down our throats

girls telling secrets

 you talk behind all your friends clueless backs

discussing all the things you feel that they lack

 what made me think when you were talking about them…

that I was above the ones you called your good friends

gossipers

Why was I blinded, why couldn’t I see?

while you were talking about them, you were also talking about me!

Diane Reed ’13

page quote

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Saying Goodbye to Best Friends…


When I was a little girl you became my second mom

I’d spend the night at your house and we’d talk till well past dawn

Your daughters were my best friends I was friends with them all

but later in life, when we grew up, it was “you” who I’d call…

Oh Lucy, how I dreaded the call I got today. So many memories flood my heart as I write this. You were always my soft place to fall, my advisor, my confidant, my constant. So consistent in my life. Always just a phone call away. Opening up your home for me to live with you guys when I was younger and then for visits whenever I could get away. I grew to love you like my own family. I smile as I think about our late night chats as Bob would call down “Lucille!” And you would tell him you’d be right up and then two hours would have passed as you stayed to chat some more. I loved your stories. Some of them were life changing for me. Some molded my life in ways that made me into who I am today.

When you found the Lord, you were so on fire. And that fire never went out. I could come for a visit or pick up the phone and you were just as in love with your Lord as you were on the first day you really found HIM. Even our last phone call was all about HIM. And I am so confident that in my own selfish sadness (please bear with me while I catch my breath realizing that you won’t be here for me anymore) I know you are so happy, free from pain in your wonderful Savior’s arms. But in the meantime I need to adjust knowing that I won’t ever hear again your wonderful voice and the joy you always seemed to have in it when you would hear it was me on the other end….

I’d hear…. “Oh helloooo baby, or Diane-eeee or Darling” You always made me feel that you were soooo happy to hear from me in a way I don’t think anyone ever has before. And I’ll miss that.

I am so glad that I got to bring my baby for a visit a couple of years ago. She remembered visiting you as a little girl but it had been too long. It was quite an adventure getting to your wonderful *mansion* in the dark up on the hill in Fallbrook…. *funny the memories little kids have*… I remember as you were building it and going with you to pick out wallpapers for ALL those  bathrooms and the tile for the pool. I will always cherish memories of that wonderful house you made into a home. It looked so much the same as I remember the last time we visited… another constant in my life.       Sooo much more than just that house, you were the one who never changed. And on the way home from our visit Brookie said; “Thank you Mama for making me go with you. I love her too.”

Oh Lucy, what am I going to do without you as my soft place to fall? You have left quite a legacy in your path… so many lives you have touched. You will be missed. But you are home now. Heaven must be so wonderful for you. So many people who you have touched, waiting in line to greet and thank you! Save a place for me! I love you!

 LUCY

Click on the song below to understand WHO Lucy has been in this lifetime to me!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=6j_YpZQi-I4

Checking IN!


babies oh mine!

Just minutes after Sophie was born with her Auntie Brookie

It all started here…. The day my granddaughter was born… the day I seemed to get all caught up in everything…

Life keeps moving fast and from the everyday stuff, work and keeping up with it all I have let my blog take a powder for a bit. Thank you for those of you who have checked up on me! I love you guys! Seems as if I was going strong… working on my book with my friend Deb and networking and building relationships with everyone here and then slowly life happened. But I will be back full force soon! After next week, my next schedule isn’t quite as slammed so I will have more time to write. But in the meantime, I didn’t want you guys to think I was flaking out here!!

I’ve been out of town and back and forth and leaving again this weekend after work. My husband has been trying to get their business up and running with his dad (LOTS of prayers needed on that one please!) And I haven’t seen him for almost a month except maybe one day or so here and there, so it will be nice to catch up with him! But in the meantime… I don’t even have a poem or anything… Just some pictures for ya!

My daughter was up here for a few days and brought her new investment! A wonderful camera that she purchased with Chase so that they could partner up with projects they have going instead of waiting for filmmakers to fit them in…. and I have found her to have quite an eye as she has captured her brother’s sweet little new family as they posed for her. Thought I’d share a few shots with ya as I work on my next post that is long over due!

Love you all! Thanks for your patience!

Introducing our wonderful Sophia with her wonderful Mama Amanda

Mommy kissing me all the time!

And my son…Tough Guy Chadly who really is a softy when it comes to his babygirl Sophie!

Chad Kissing Sophia

With his other sweet girl Jasmine! (Where does time go?)

Jaz and Dad

Who he thinks he needs to always teach to be tough  (“Ahhh come on dad, give me a break!”)

Jaz and Daddd

And our wonderful new little grandson Brenden ~ to whom Chad has already started teaching about the importance of muscles to!

Brenden and Chad Muslemen

Daddy is even telling Sophie about all the important things he wants her to know about!

Talking to Daddy

Such a sweet family!

Amanda's fam

Funny how babies have a way of softening even the tough guys!

Anywaaay, that is my update! Thanks for walking through my little Grandma Brag Book! Thanks Brookie for capturing them all!

xoxo

“me”

We Can Work It OUT


quote about weaknesses

I saw this video today that made me actually laugh out loud.  Communication is so simple and yet we make it so hard. It is not limited to just men and women but in this particular case that is what I am talking about here. We have such defenses built up that we can’t see past the nail in our own foreheads! (Stay with me here, once you watch the video you will see what I mean!)

If you are constantly feeling misunderstood or know a young couple who is always having trouble communicating. This is a great one to share. Some of you may have already seen this before but today was the first time I have and I played it back a few times. It makes me smile. Probably because I love a good metaphor but mostly because I relate. I’ve grown tired of feeling that I need fixing and yet today when I was looking through a cupboard trying to find something I came across this wonderful letter my husband wrote to me when we were married just five years.

reading a paper

I wanted to grab him and say….”NOW that is what I’m talking about!!!” Funny how it was the perfect letter and I don’t even remember it. I think that is a pretty big message to me. Sometimes we get so caught up in wanting to be right we can’t see past that the other guy might have a good point as well!

Now go watch the video! I promise you will laugh or at the very least try not to!

http://player.vimeo.com/video/66753575

Sunshine Award


screen-shot-2013-05-13-at-12-48-10-pm

For those of you who have given me awards please don’t be offended if I have not gone through the process of accepting. Lets face it… those AWARDS are special honors but pretty time consuming and once you really honker down to accept one it is a few hour process! I know that this is just one of many and I really wanted to list them all here and “accept” them with one swoop but I don’t have a lot of time so am recognizing this one for now. If you have never followed through with the process of accepting one of these… it takes a little time.

I have been working a lot and other things have gotten in my way but that doesn’t mean that I am not terribly honored for being mentioned. I am. Tonight, I wanted to take the time to honor this one : The Sunshine Award! I am technically challenged to say the least so I am not sure how to post it on my page and that has been why I have probably not attempted to honor more but I will do my best here… cuz I’ve grown to love my little friend who has gifted me with this one!

http://lifeofaministermom.com/about/ given to be by Patricia my wonderful new friend that has touched my life in a powerful way.

She loves the Lord with a consistency that inspires and challenges me. Her knowledge of scriptures is (at loss for a better word) again, inspriring! Even though we are decades a part, there was something so powerful about our connection. I feel that it was a God ordained, Divine appointment and that our friendship will last into eternity. Some people we are just meant to meet and I have no doubt that Patricia was one of the ones God put in my path.

I’ve linked back to her blog (click on the purple highlight above),  you should go and check out her blog. It is packed full of INSPIRATION and honest down to earth writing that will warm your soul!

Here are 7 fun facts about me:

1.  I knew that I wanted to be a writer since I could read and basically plagerized my version of C.S. Lewis’s The Lion The Witch And The Wardrobe   when it was read to our class when I was in the  second grade. I wrote my own version and changed the names! LOL. NOW I think up my own material! 😉

2.  I know that God answers prayer from experience.

3.  My husband and I attended the same grade school though we never met until over twenty years later.

4.  I have a greeting card line that I’ve written and illustrated. You can see them here: https://www.etsy.com/people/crafterdi?show_panel=true

5.  I recently stopped doing art shows, I am a retired artist and am writing a book. (Aren’t we all?)

6.  I was born on my grandma’s birthday and my precious new granddaughter was born on mine exactly one month ago today!

7.  My daughter also writes and has a blog right here on wordpress! And is an artist and also has an etsy account! http://www.etsy.com/shop/thenakedbird She has followed in her mama’s footsteps and even done a few art shows. (You know you’ve done something right when they do what you did) 😉   But she has far surpassed me. She is a GRAND actress and wonderful singer. Two talents I would love to have but don’t have a stitch of! Ya don’t wanna hear me sing!!! 😉

Here are my nominees…. I need 100 more spaces here because there are so many more that I could list who inspire me with their sunshine each day but here is my list. NOW I know why I don’t do these awards a lot cuzzz they are pretty time consuming but so worth following through from time to time because it makes you take time to appreciate those who follow you and consistently bring joy to my life. I want to thank you all. Please don’t feel obliged to have to do this AWARD… I only did this one because I felt it was about time to honor

Okay I hate to do this to you guys but tag … your IT! 😀

Please check out my bright and sunny nominees.  Their constant encouragement and/or beautiful images inspire me!

1.Paul at:  http://pjb1943.wordpress.com/about/

2. Yaz at: http://yazrooney.wordpress.com/

3. Keli at: http://kelihasablog.wordpress.com/

4. Emma at: http://emmacapell.wordpress.com/about/

5. Pat at: http://plaintalkandordinarywisdom.com/

6. Becky at http://ivegotastory.wordpress.com/about/

7. Sherry at: http://littlemisswordy.wordpress.com/2013/05/08/through-the-door-the-power-of-prayer/

8.  Bill at Unshakable Hope

9. Louise at: http://www.recoveryourjoy.blogspot.com/

10. Carolyn at: http://abcofspiritalk.wordpress.com/about/

11. Anka at: http://keepingitrealmom.com/about/

12. Ralph at: http://bluefishway.com/about/

A message from Shaun, the creator of this award:

This is an award for everyone who is part of the “Word Press Family” I started this award on the basis that the WordPress family has taken me in, and showed me love and a caring side only WordPress can. The way people take a second to be nice, to answer a question and not make things a competition amazes me here. I know I have been given many awards, but I wanted to leave my own legacy on here by creating my own award, as many have done before. This represents “Family” we never meet, but are there for us as family. It is my honour to start this award. Thank you, Shaun @ http://prayingforoneday.wordpress.com/

Rules:

1. Display the award logo on your blog.

2. Link back to the person who nominated you.

3. Nominate 10 others you see as having an impact on your WordPress experience and family.

4. Let your 10 Family members know you have awarded them.

5. That is it. Just please pick 10 people that have taken you as a friend, and spread the love.

THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH, AND LET’S CONTINUE TO SPREAD THE LOVE!

BE BLESSED!!