holezzz

First of all I want to say that…. I am so blessed to have you guys! Thank you ALL for your support and prayers! You guys are amazing! I feel that we have a little church or at least a prayer circle right here in our midst!

It’s not all that easy to just break out of that dark hole that I’ve been stuck in and just shake it off as if I’ve just fallen down and skinned my knee. When it is something that hurts from the inside out, it takes a bit more than a bandaid.  I remember once when I’d just had my daughter, she was three days old and we’d both come down with chicken pox! My first husband and my son, who was seven at the time, had gone to his baseball game and come home early with a huge black eye! From what I could gather my son had been beamed in the eye and my husband was not happy about it at all! He was the kind of dad that said; “Hey man just shake it off!” Okay so you can imagine how I felt. My poor baby was hurt.  And I wasn’t there to comfort him and his father was no help at all! On top of it, I was not feeling too well myself. Later my husband apologized and realized that he’d been embarrassed and made it all about him but I guess my point is… sometimes you just can’t shake stuff off.

baseball glove in the grass

We all have our broken times. Our losses, our heartaches and crisis. Some of us are dealing with life and death, some of us are dealing with catastrophic financial issues and debt and then others can look at their own lives and realize that they don’t have it quite as bad but still can’t seem to snap out of it. My grandmother used to say that someone’s hangnail is just as important to them as the other guy’s broken finger is to him. It all depends who is feeling the pain. I guess that makes sense in a selfish kind of way and I guess I’ve been feeling kind of selfish lately. The funny thing about being “selfish” is you don’t really recognize that you are being it until much later. Hind sight is always 20/20.

shel riding bareback backwards

 I remember once going to marriage counseling and having our therapist tell me that I was depressed. I wanted to shout. “Ya think?” I was abused by my first boyfriend, My dad who was my best friend, died from a heart attack too early in life,  I had two miscarriages that pretty much did me in. I finally divorced after struggling to keep my marriage alive for my kid’s sake for far too long, I remarried and then we lost our business in an earthquake…. yadda yadda yadda…  my husband  had to take a job beneath him that required him to work EVERY holiday and then after nine years got laid off and now I am still stuck in my going no where job after almost ten years. After being my own boss for the last twenty years, working for someone else. Depressed? No. Just circumstances.

INSTEAD… I could be thinking…. I was given a second chance with a wonderful Christian man who helped raise another man’s kids and has been a wonderful father to them. I had a chance to have a cute little store that was very successful for a while. And though our store did not survive. It was pretty amazing that WE DID! And I need to remember that everyday!

Rose In The Woods after earthquake

https://dianereedwiter.wordpress.com/2012/09/23/a-thing-of-beauty-in-an-unexpectd-place/

 

And by the grace of God we both were given the opportunity to slip into some very good jobs. My husband always wanted to be a youth leader and being General Manager of our local movie theater gave him that opportunity for almost nine years! He was paid very well. His boss was very generous and offered him commissions that many larger city theaters probably don’t offer and so it was nice while it lasted.  And just when those doors closed due to the theater’s finances, his boss generously provided him with a severance package which allowed him to go back to work with his dad as God opened that door, just as his dad needed him again for an old job they’d done years ago. Which he may not have been able to do, if he’d still been working at the theater due to the demanding work schedule.

As for my job, it has given me the opportunity to meet some great friends and learn humility! I am learning lessons I may never have learned without the experiences I am having each and every day.

Also…. my daughter just checked in and told me that though she felt the recent 5.2 earthquake in Southern California and it upset her, she is okay! If you have read our story in the link above (right below the photo of our crunched store)… I have to be reminded that I appreciate and need to live for every second of every minute of every hour and looking too far ahead is just too overwhelming…. For God reminds us that THAT really should be Enough! Though… The next few weeks… If I could ask for prayer for health and business stuff for my father in law and  their business there is power in prayer and I am a believer in this little prayer group!

Sooo…. Though I am not checking in with some profound life changing aha momentish message…. I am telling you there is light at the top of the hole!!!!!

hole1

 

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50 thoughts on “There’s light at the top of the hole!

    1. Wow Janeanne,
      Thank you! Your words are my inspiration! I am trying to catch up and back track and wander through everyone’s blogs I am on my way to yours!
      xoxo
      di

  1. In spite of all of our different experiences, I’m sure each of us can relate to being ‘there’. The beauty of it all is that no matter what, God is right there with us! It may take us a while to realize his presence or see that light at the top of the hole, but with faith our perspective can be changed for the better!

    1. Patricia,
      Thank you for reading! I am always a little like… WHY did I write that??? When I finally start seeing the light. But if I can help someone not feel so alone in the hole then I am glad I could help! 😉
      Loved your post about your recent trip! Sounded like a memory you will have forever!
      xoxo

  2. Oh my, Diane. I can certainly feel what you’re talking about. Funny, it seems a lot of us are feeling similar things — just a bunch of stuff.

    For me, I just came out of what felt like a shell where I’ve been hibernating of some sort. I finally got back on the internet blogging and wrote, “I’ve Been Waiting for Something to Happen”. Then, I saw another fellow blogger write about ‘doldrums’.

    It must be a shifting of energies in the air. No matter, we have life and love and a Source that sees us through all of it. That we can count on, my friend. Hang in there — it will soon shift to be light again and not so heavy. Hugs 🙂

    1. Pat
      So glad you are OUT!!! I think you are right. It is a weather thing. I also think I have one more post I am going to add to this little series and then move on! 😉 But thank you so much for sharing! I always love your comments! They always brighten my day and lately that is a very good thing!!!!! 🙂

      1. Me too, Diane. With the weather warming up, the sunshine feels good and the fresh air. Haven’t been able to spend too much time outside with the onslaught of winter but Spring has become more evident.

        Happy to see you’re getting close to the light and the end of the tunnel. Hope you’re working through all of it okay. Sending you hugs and prayers to give you an extra boost and a little love. I’m glad we can help each other in sharing and make life brighter. Maybe this will help — a little song by Bobby McFerrin “Don’t Worry – Be Happy” http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d-diB65scQU&feature=kp.

  3. Hi Di. I am so happy that you expressed yourself here and it lifted some of the burden you were carrying. I can sense a shift in energy and want you to know that that shift will continue. The beautiful loving people that I see here have you wrapped in love. When we share with that kind of honesty we realize that we are not alone. You are never alone. Keep raising your energy. I see you as “a thing of beauty” wherever you are! Blessitude – Lorrie

    1. Oh Bill,
      You make me so ashamed for complaining. I am not sure I have ever read one word from you that does not have a glow to it!!!!
      In fact, I think about you daily and pray for you when I think of you. Funny, I have been on a prayer mission for that computer issue of yours!
      I feel so silly complaining but like grandma said… we can get caught up in our own little pain and it is all a matter of perspective. Your attitude is my inspiration and your strength is my reminder. But I covet your prayers cuz I have a notion from your mouth to God’s ears!!!!!
      xoxo
      Love you my friend!
      Thank you!
      Diane

      1. Your grandmother was a wise woman. I’ve learned that God’s grace is relative to our level of pain. I always keep that in mind – your struggles are no less difficult/painful than mine.
        I have been praying for you.

        1. Ahhh Bill…. Seee you just make it so hard to not want to be just like you! I think THAT is what it’s all about when God starts to teach us about what really is relative…. it is that old soul that we get to take with us and how much refining we “get” to do to “here” I guess!? You have to see the movie God is NOT dead!!! You will love it. There is a scene in it where this jerk is talking to his mom who has Alzeimers and asks… no more like makes a statement about how he knows he is a jerk and has pretty much everything he wants and how she was this amazing woman who is stuck in a brain that is stuck and she has this amazing moment of clarity and says this profound thing about how the devil uses good times to not refine people who need it…. Oh I wish I could remember it. IT was So profound! But I hope you get a chance to see it!
          By the way lol 39…. I missed that! lol. I wish!

  4. Very well written, love this post, good inspiration for all.

    “God tests us in many ways, it is these tests we learn from, so we can be stronger moving forward”.
    ***** bowlingchef.com ******

  5. I’m so glad you can see the light again. Years ago when I was going through a particularly rough time, my mentor/therapist kept saying that soon I would see the light at the end of the tunnel again, and in the beginning I’d find myself thinking “yeh it’s the light on the train in the tunnel that’s about to run me over.” It’s funny how when we are in those really dark places, we often become our own worst enemies. I’m glad you shared this. It always helps to get what we are feeling out of the abstract and onto the “concreteness” of the written page. Oh by the way, we have another thing in common. My dad, whom I adored, died when I was 18 years old and a half a century later I still cry about it from time to time. Love, Natalie 🙂

  6. You are so right – we must keep perspective … I was pining (in my introverted way) yesterday morning about leaving my job and moving hours away, and now not getting any responses to all of my applications and resumes, when later that day I am sitting at dinner with my wife’s nephew telling us about how his entire house just about collapsed into the basement when a cellar wall collapsed, and the insurance won’t cover it, and his new wife is due with their first son in May, and they are living in the downstairs of the church where he is pastor, and just thanking God for the guidance and support. Well, I have a house, and the skills to keep things like that from happening, some money put away, and my kids are grown and through college … perspective – yes – let’s keep it real. Thanks!

    1. You are so right!!!! It is all about appreciating everything we can think of! Even if we have to get creative! God is Good Everyday and Everyday God is good! Have you seen the movie God is NOT dead? It is worth the $$ and 2 hours!!!! Talk about perspective. I was so inspired!

  7. Your paragraph about your therapist saying you were depressed, and you fighting against that because you realised it was circumstances filled me with admiration for you. Not that there is anything wrong with being depressed, but I think it is important that we recognise if something has triggered that… because then we can either fight it or turn our situation around. .
    You have certainly turned your situation around, and for the bits that you couldn’t, you have learned to look at in a different light. You inspire me.

    1. Elizabeth
      And your comments never fail to inspire me! I am blessed to have you here!
      I’ve always had trouble just accepting a blanket statement that covers everything with a label when sometimes it is just circumstances. Especially when I worked in a Psyche Ward in my twenties and I really do know the difference between the organic causes of being clinically depressed and just being sad because things suck for the moment! 😉
      And maybe even being a little stuck.
      Thanks for saying it so well!!!!
      xoxo

    1. Debbie,
      Thank you. There is so much sadness and joy out there at the same time. It is so silly for me to be stuck in the dark! Especially when you are so strong!
      xoxo

  8. Loved your post and I remember reading your post about how you and your beloved ones have survived the earthquake. We all have many obstacles into our lives and difficulties, but the most important is that after all, we are alive for a reason and that our life deserves to be lived to the fullest 🙂

    1. Knowing you have read and followed and take your time reading means so much. I want to inspire! Not be caught in the dark flailing around! Thanks for heliping find the light!
      You guys are my light switch!
      xoxo

  9. I love you girl!!! I can always relate to you! Hey I always have a spare rope with me if you can’t seem to get out of that hole! All ya gotta do is hollar! I wish you knew just how special and wonderful you really are. I mean that in the most sincere and loving way! I know God brings people together who may have not ever met otherwise.. he has given me a true gift in getting to know you! Keep rocking and sharing about your awesome self! Hugs! T

    1. Tracey,
      I love you back!
      Grabbing on tight and crawling on up! Thanks for the yank back to the light! 😉
      I think that you know that I feel the same way about you! I think that we GET each other!!!!! I mean I have begged you to come back and post more!!! I always smile when I see your little green face hop into view!!! GRIN!!!! 🙂
      Thank you for the lift! I needed it!!!!
      xoxoxoxoxoxo
      Di

  10. ‘Atta girl! In this moment of clarity, you have been given eyes to see that it is not our circumstances, but our joy in the Lord that holds us together. It is in seeing our blessings, and knowing that He walks with us every day (and carries us when we cannot walk) that there is hope. It is in feeling the fullness of His love that we see that light. His light. The Light that overcomes the darkest of days.

    1. Susan,
      Your wisdom has brightened my day! I am begining to see the light! And I mean that in the sincerest sense of everything grateful within me! Thank you for the wonderful reminder!
      xoxo

    1. Mark,
      Thank you so much for taking the time to read! I haven’t been keeping up with my comments and so wanted to come on this morning and read them. And yours made me happy!
      xoxo

    1. Theresa,
      I really was hesitant about sharing but I felt so not alone after I did. God knew what HE was doing when He led me here to this DEVINE appointment with you all! I have been abundantly blessed! You are my friends and prayer warriors and I feel now that this has opened the door for us all to be honest when we are in need. I am here for you as well. Whenever you need me! Thank you for being here for me!!!!
      xoxo

      1. I know i already commented, but your reply tuched my heart. It takes so much courage to be willing to share.

        I have recently been going through some painful things that I felt like I couldn’t share, because I wasn’t sure how, but especially these past couple of months they have hurt so badly that I have wept daily. They have to do with my failures at parenting, and the strained relationship I now have with one of my children (my daughter) who left the nest a year ago and who has strayed. I tried so hard, and walked on egg-shells, and thought I had handled it well, and one night in February I messed it all up and everything fell all apart. It seems like all I can do is weep.

        Then I came to your blogs and your honest humble way of sharing has been such a comfort to me. Thank you so much.

        Blessings,
        Theresa

        1. Oh Theresa
          I think that nothing hurts more than when things aren’t right with our kids. I soooo know your pain.
          I have been there. It shakes your world and pretty much is like Velcro on your soul. Always there.
          I will be praying for you. I know that God is working in her heart right this minute. Having you as a mom, I KNOW you are loved and that this will pass.
          The first years when are kids are trying to come into their own and claim their own identity are hard for us as parents. But also can be rewarding. Like when they first walked and talked. Argh and then first sassed but if we just slow down and give it to HIM they’ll come around. I promise. I will be praying! If you ever need an emergency prayer partner: crafterdi@aol.com
          🙂

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