hole with moss



This has ended up being kind of a series and I promise this will be the last of it. But as I have dug my way back out of my hole I have tried to figure out yet again what brought me there. The kicker this time is that it was nothing in particular. I mean I’ve had much worse times of life and I know things could still be much worse. And I really don’t want my proverbial memory of a metaphoric “I’ll give you somethng to cry about” happen to me. But what the hell is my problem?! Sorry.

And then it dawned on me that everything that led me to my journey down that dark, dreary hole was about me and my crazy imagination. And though the good thing about a crazy imagination is, that it helps a writer write. The bad thing is that it doesn’t help if you still have to find a way to live in the real world (above the hole) I’d like to say that I am not easily offended and that I have a pretty tough skin. And in some ways that is very true. And as I have grown older, I’ve realized that stupid is… as stupid does… and been able to consider the source of most things. But when it comes from someone that I care about, it hurts just a little. Recently a lot. I’d like to think that I’ve grown an even thicker skin but most likely, I have lost a layer and so perhaps become a little more easier to offend.

So the trick is, deciding to just not be offended. Right? Yeah right. But you can be aware. My husband has a saying when someone is a little off: about how they are… “just a bubble off” it is related to the carpenter’s tool that is called a level that is used to measure if something is well, level. How can I not be offended when I am married to someone who guages me with a level? I’m KIDDING now but in the end I guess the answer is… if you can’t learn to laugh at yourself then you might as well jump back in that hole and pull in the dirt!

Thanks everyone for the support! I think that I am going to go fill in that hole now! (With me on the OUTside of it!) 😉

The End



Good sense makes one slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook an offense.

Proverbs 19:11





36 thoughts on “No Offense

  1. I know I’m late to reply, but there’s nothing like that moment of self awareness that leads you to giving yourself that kick in the pants you need! Our imaginations are wonderful, but we must remain aware of the power of our thoughts, for better or worse. Prayerfully for the better as we pick ourselves up and keep moving forward.

    Blessings to you friend! xoxo


    1. Alex,
      Thank you!!! I am blessed to have my own little family here! It is funny how we really do become each other’s support group. Everyday I know how lucky I am to have you all!

  2. Yes, steer clear of those holes my dear! great post.

    can you email me, I have an idea to run by you. can’t see a contact page here. my email linked to this comment is fine. thanks. 🙂

  3. Yep, those holes can be slipped into, catching one unaware. Before you know it you’re living in it completely unaware. Then one day you happen to look up and realize you’re in a hole, and suddenly you want out. I know, I’ve lived in many a hole. Welcome back to solid land. XO Sheri

  4. It takes a lot to admit that you are in a hole.
    Sometimes I think we get comfortable in our holes. We learn to put up with the darkness and make the most of it. “you still have to find a way to live in the real world (above the hole)”. This to me was a call to action (for me to climb out of the hole even though that may be difficult), and I thank you for that

    1. Elizabeth
      I think you totally hit on something! I think I do get comfortable in my holes! It is good to be aware!
      Thank YOU for your insights♡♡

  5. Don’t beat yourself up if you have trouble getting out of your hole. Either you’re not ready or the right help hasn’t arrived or you have something yet to figure out. You have the tools and knowledge; you will move on in your time, not ours! Your husband’s “bubble off” is a perfect analogy to describe some people (certainly NOT you!!) Be kind to yourself.

  6. I love that you try to identify the “kicker.” Then that you seem to indicate that a warped expression of a good thing is the trouble (imagination).
    Mmmmm. That “deciding not to be offended.” Ugh! Tough stuff, if not impossible. The awareness you’re shooting for sounds pretty wise. I’ll pray that some of these things get easier. I understand quite a bit of it at a pretty deep level, too.

  7. You are such an inspiration! I keep falling in the same hole, and I never thought about filling it up; just kept trying to step over it. “Fill the hole”…. that’s the solution, isn’t it? I have had so many sweet people trying to loan me shovels, and stubborn old me just wouldn’t take them up on it.

    Thank you so much! This really helped me.

    Big hugs, and blessings,

    1. Theresa
      I LOVE your shovel metaphor! I too have had some pretty sweet people handing me shovels over the years and either not known how to use them or just ignored them. But you my dear are an inspiration too and I am so glad I know you♡♡

  8. I love the ‘level’ reference. I am going to use that. A bubble off. But – with if someone like me is more than one bubble off? Have I become a boiling bubbling cauldron of brew? Hah! This would lead to a witch reference then leads to a curse!! OMG!!

  9. Hi Diane – I can empathize and I’m happy to see you found your way out. Reminds me of a poem written by Portia Nelson called “Autobiography in Five Short Chapters” (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Portia_Nelson). Maybe, you’ve read it:

    I walk down the street.
    There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
    I fall in.
    I am lost … I am helpless.
    It isn’t my fault.
    It takes me forever to find a way out.

    I walk down the same street.
    There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
    I pretend I don’t see it.
    I fall in again.
    I can’t believe I am in the same place.
    But it isn’t my fault.
    It still takes a long time to get out.

    I walk down the same street.
    There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
    I see it is there.
    I still fall in … it’s a habit.
    My eyes are open.
    I know where I am.
    It is my fault.
    I get out immediately.

    I walk down the same street.
    There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
    I walk around it.

    I walk down another street.

      1. Hi Diane – I’m happy it related to what you were feeling. I’ve had times like that and this little poem always seemed fitting in giving me a different perspective. 🙂

  10. What powerful insights — and what a deep hole to dig out of and now to fill in but wow — good for you! 🙂 Life is so much better when we don’t keep falling into the same hole!

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