I am starting a new job in a few days. And though opening new doors gives me hope, I have learned over the years that happiness is not found behind some unknown door or even in closing an old one that has filled me with so much frustration that ANY new one is going to be better than the one I feel like slamming!
I know that “happy” is found inside of me. And in discovering that, I have learned some valuable lessons that I will take with me. In leaving, I leave friendships that I’ve made over the decade since I’ve been there. And yet, I know it is time to move on, to give myself permission to climb out of this quicksand that has sucked me in for far too long. To understand that it is up to me to make the change, and never again give power to someone else, trusting that they will make it.
And in making that change, I am free! Instead of feeling that I wasted a decade of my life, (though it wouldn’t hurt to have the age I was ten years ago, back!) It is my choice to leave with my convictions in tact. And to understand that I have learned some valuable lessons. So as I close one door and open another, I leave with a wealth of knowledge that I WILL use inside that next door that I walk through.
The funny thing about doors is you have gotta close one before you open the other, or you leave a lot of doors “ajar” in life. I’ve always loved doors. I collect photos of them. They’ve always fascinated me. I imagine the people who’ve walked through them, lived behind them, opened them and slammed them and feel the magic of their power.
The Funny Thing About Doors…
The funny thing about doors
you must walk through one
before going through another.
And every one you open
leads you to something to be discovered.
There are grand ones and small ones,
creaky ones and tall ones,
ones you open quietly,
and ones you just want to slam!
Ones that lead you to the light,
to be damned!
But every door I’ve chosen to go through,
has taught me things I had to know.
From them, I’ve taken things with me,
and others I’ve let go.
Each one led me to a place,
to find new parts of me.
But not one of them was the “only” one,
that held the happy key.