hand over mouth

Several years ago, I titled this blog; The One Thing I Know For Sure. Being in my early fifties, and having lived a half a century, I set out to share what it was that I thought was worthy of the time it would take you to read what I wrote. I know how busy all of our lives are and when anyone takes the time to read anything I write, it is like a gift to me. I know your time is valuable and I appreciate every second that you take here, inside my little world! I guess I wanted to share something, perhaps a little wisdom gleamed from my years, and experiences with those younger than me or those evolving, to save them from the same mistakes I’d made.

If you actually go backward and read some of my first posts, I feel like I was still a bit trapped in my cocoon. I am not sure when or why people started reading my ramblings. But as I look back, it took a while for anyone to even find me. I think in the beginning, I was just writing for me. Trying to find myself.  A good friend likened my  recent ephifanies to a butterfly. I find it sad that it has taken me so long to try out my wings.  And now soaring over my life, I wonder, why did it take so long?

girl watching sky

I am in a space in my life right now, where I am truly evolving. Where I listen more and pause before speaking. I truly feel that there is an art in the act of pausing, to have someone look at me and feel free to talk because they KNOW that I am reeeally listening. I want to write a story that has this sentence in it: He looked at her and continued telling his story because of the way she listened to him. And I want that character, the one listening, to be me!

I don’t think listening was ever that important to me. I think because I was so unsure of who I was that I never took the time to pause and hear. I was so busy talking, trying to prove who I was or wasn’t. What a waste. What did I miss by not pausing? What did I have to say that was so important?

And as she paused, she learned more than she ever knew! Listening is an art! And that my friends is… The one thing I know for sure!

Most people do not listen with the intent to understand

Most people listen with the intent to reply!!

Stephen Covey

Join me, next time someone is talking to you, really look them in the eye and make them feel that they are really being heard! It is kind of enlightening to see someone’s excitement when they look you in the eye and know you are listening. It’s empowering to listen, to give someone the gift of knowing they are being heard.

41 thoughts on “Pausing

    1. Debbie,
      Glad you saw that you were my inspiration for THIS one! And funny, I never see your mistakes👍 I had to go back and see what you were talking about! 💖😉 you are always perfect in my eyes!

  1. Oh boy! Yes this is a biggie. My biggest problem actually! And yet something takes over and I can’t shut up. One fine day I might have it sorted. And yet my friends say they love me because I entertain them so it can’t all be bad. I like others who talk like I do, like a kindred spirit, because THEN I learn to stop and see what’s going on and I do listen to them. Plus I don’t go home cross at myself for talking too much. You and I would have marathon chats Diane. I just know it. Emma xxx

    1. Oh Emma
      I sooo know you are right! I wish I could just rent a resort somewhere and fly all my favs (here) there and just really chat it up with all of you! It’s funny those like you who I really have connected with over the years are a tight group that seem to all run closely together. As if we all follow the same crowd. Its like most of us would think it would be a little creepy to be invited somewhere with a bunch of strangers. But I think not one of us would “not” GET it. Cuzzz I truly feel as if we all are friends💖😉

  2. D, you have come so far from the first time I read your blog. It’s a beautiful thing to see! You are so much more expansive and confident. ….Huge Hug! ! ! ! 🙂

    1. Paul,
      That brought tears to my eyes! Especially coming from YOU who I have learned to respect over the years! BIG Hugs back!!!!! Thank you!
      ((((((Paul))))) Forever my Papa Bear!

  3. I have always thought that you have been a great ‘listener’ to me on my blog and my comments yours, and I have truly appreciated your relies’ to me. So I think a little bit of both is a great thing.

  4. I have always had a huge problem with shyness and have tried to cover it up by gabbling non stop . I hardly hear what the other person has to say because I’m so charged up that I give the right answer . I have been doing mindfulness lately , this teaches us to pause . Today I am going to listen and stay quiet I think it’s a calming way to live your life . Thank you for this post it has really made me think… I’ll let you know how I get on with my experiment

    1. I have a feeling that we are going to have to plan a time soon! Maybe we will have to pick a destination! I just caught up with my bff from High School and we talked for over and hour catching up the other night! I just know that you have a special place in my life!

  5. So true how we all grow, from cocoon to butterfly, over and over, they say our bodies are completely renewed every seven years! To see how we have grown is part of the magic and art of writing, it is a history of our own emotional, spiritual evolution. Age is a beautiful thing, the slowing down of the body brings more pauses, the ears need to pay more attention to the voice, and maybe we learn to hear what was said instead of what we perceive … Glad I paused when I stopped by your blog so many moons ago …

  6. I like this, Diane, and what you write is so true. There is an art to listening and when we hit on it, it’s amazing to see the response and shift in energy. Seems like I’ve been working on this my whole life. I’m getting better at it but a long way to go. Thanks for reminding us on what’s important. 🙂

    1. Pat,
      EXACTLY! That is IT!!! So much more to it and so simple. But the power in that shift in energy is worth the effort! Just like all your comments and how you and I have become friends! Loving it!

    1. I did a 360 thinking that I’d arrived and then had to back track to a 180! Lol. So just a little behind! But I think that I learned more knowing that because you have lived a long time, doesn’t mean you have learned a lot. There is an art in pausing and understanding. Thanks for reading! Love your comments! They make me think! And pause 😉

    1. CL
      You will never know what a compliment that is to me cuzzz it is hard for me to not write a million paragraphs! I am trying to keep it simple for a while! 😉
      Thank you!!! So glad you stopped by!

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