The One In The Mirror

This one’s for you Natalie!! Thank you!!! I deleted this one and wasn’t going to post it because it seems as if all of my posts seem to be about some aha moment where I am pulling myself out of a bad attitude… but your sweet note made me rethink it! So as I said, pulling this one out of the trash, AND… THIS one’s for you my friend! 🙂

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Sometimes it feels as if I have been sucker punched when I look into  the mirror lately. It’s not because I’m not that tanned sized five young girl any longer. It’s much more than that. I could handle that, if that’s all that it was. It is feeling like a failure. As if I have failed me. I feel like a stranger is staring back at me. She looks so tired and worn out and as if there is something missing in her eyes. And it makes me wonder. Where did I go?

I don’t want to see that tired sad older woman staring back at me. And wonder, did I fail her? Did I make the wrong choices? I have so much to be grateful for. Sure, life didn’t really go as I’d planned. But I do have many blessings. I have two great kids and an amazing husband. I have wonderful friends and a loving family. I have fallen in love a few times and had my heart-broken a few more. I’ve had losses and a few bumps along the way but for the most part, life has been good. God has blessed me. So why am I so sad so much of the time? Is it that I feel time is running out? Or that life is creeping up on me too fast and I haven’t done everything that I’ve wanted to? Or even more than a bucket list, accomplished things where I feel I’ve made a difference because you have known me.

The other day I was thinking about everything and how I really should be happy. God has answered so many prayers. Sure life isn’t perfect. But I am blessed! I’ve talked about life being this empty book and everyday… you write a new page..

 But what happens when all the pages are written on????

You get a NEW book

The good thing about living a long time is learning things along the way. We have a lot more to draw from as we go. And if I have learned one thing, it is that life is not over till God decides it is! I realized that I need to start participating in it to find that girl in the mirror that once was there! I know she’s in there somewhere on the other side just waiting to be rediscovered!

The other day, a man with very sad eyes came to book a room at our event center on the day that it already was booked. My heart broke for him. It was for a Memorial for his wife.  He looked so sad. He shared that it had been very sudden. The things about memorials, is you rarely have a lot of notice. I decided that I was going to make it happen! Though we’d never had such a quick turn over of events in one day, I made the executive decision! And I felt alive knowing that I could do something, no matter how small to help him in his time of grief.

It was a good reminder for me, that life isn’t always a choice. But I can choose to live it while I have the opportunity to do so! He was so grateful when I called to tell him that we would work it out. And it made me happy to feel that I had a tiny bit of power to help. And I have no doubt that  this man was put in my path as a reminder. That I do have the power to choose to live life and live it more abundantly or not. It is my choice. Funny, as I passed the mirror again, I glanced at it  this time, and I  recognized a familiar reflection, someone with life in her eyes, the one living it again!

Deuteronomy 31:8 – The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.

James 4:10 – Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up.

 

Embracing The Moment

“Though honey is a very good thing.” Said Pooh, “There is that moment right before you taste the honey, that is almost as good as when you do.”

I have always loved Pooh in all of his wisdom but if I were to choose just one of his amazing quotes, I think that the one above, resonates with me most. Because “I” am famous for looking back in regret and not embracing the moment. Last year when I was still working at my old job, a bride was getting married on our property. She was radiant, waiting for her maids in waiting. At first she was very sweet and happy waiting alone. But as they continued to make her wait, she quickly turned from a Princess to a Bridezilla at a fast rate of zero to sixty!

As others listened to her rant and rave and really carry on, (along with a few cuss words that Princesses should NOT know) I quietly took her aside and read her the quote I had on a necklace in my shop… “Listen to this” I said, “Though honey is a very good thing, that moment right before you taste the honey is almost as good as when you do.” She looked at me blinking back tears, as I placed the necklace in her hands and said, “this is your moment right before you get to taste the honey!” It was kind of like a little miracle as I watched and saw her expression change the minute it registered. Her face lit up and I knew she understood. Then she instantly snapped out of it and turned back into a beautiful Princess rushing out the door with her bridal party in tow (that in reality, actually only made her wait for all of five minutes.) “How did you do that?” A coworker asked, and I just smiled. “Magic” I winked.

How many times have you missed the moments that God custom made for you? Not just in changing your own attitude but in helping someone else change theirs?

Carpe Diem.