I smile and life goes on,
I even laughed today,
but something that would normally just annoy me
ruins my whole day.
My feelings are all muddled
and yet I have to face my life.
I have to go to work,
be a mom, a friend a wife.
Things that normally wouldn’t hurt me
fill me with so much pain,
I lash out in anger,
needing someone else to blame.
I want to cry and yell,
to fall into a heap
to make the world go away,
to make it stop, so I can sleep.
I want to ask you why..
you think that I should be okay?
When I just lost my best friend
My laughter isn’t real
my smile is purely fake
My heart is aching
the whole time I’m awake
The hole is gaping, I can’t forget,
as all day the memories weave
How does anyone do it right?
When there is no perfect way to grieve?
40 thoughts on “Today Was A Bad Day”
Sorry Do, I only just saw this post. How heartbreaking to lose your best friend.. Must be hard to even begin to process all those beautiful memories you had and to cope with the knowledge that the last one has been made. Your poem made me feel the rawness of your grief and reminded me of the time I slumped to the floor in sorrow as I learnt of the passing of a special friend. It was like something out of a horrible movie- we never imagine things will end do we and it’s so cruel when we have to face reality that our last conversation has happened. Praying for you to cope. It’s understandable too, if this contributed to your writer’s block.
Typo- should read ” Sorry Di”
Lost your best friend, Diane? The desire to fall into a heap because of this huge, gaping hole inside of you––indeed! What deep agony! My heart goes out to you. Praying for peace and rest for you! 💕
Thank you for taking the time to read and comment, it means a lot. Especially, because I am an admirer of your blog!
The respect goes both ways, Diane.
I’m saddened by your deep pain.
Sorry for your loss.
Teacup thank you💖
A very beautiful poem straight fro the heart. It’s the only way to deal with life …write …get it off your chest . Take care .
You are right. Writing is so healing. Thank you.
Beautiful words my friend, you are truly an outstanding person.
I don’t know about that 😊 but I love you for saying that.
Your very welcome
I am so sorry for your loss Diane. May God fill you with His peace, and your heart with all the joyful memories of times with your friend. Your friend will always be a part of you, and watching over you.
Love and blessings to you Dear Diane.
Thank you Ann!
I am so blessed to have all of you!
It comes in waves. They recapitulate, but should slowly diminish in their peaks and crests. Let them come, it means you feel, it means you have a heart. Love knows no boundaries, and after a time you will feel a different sort of closeness, a heart string that knows life is also a dream …
Thank you Peter, YOU always say the right thing!
Diane, just lifting you up in prayer today for comfort and healing. So sorry for this great loss.
Grieving is so personal.. it belongs to only them… So sorry for the loss of a dear friend… Diane
I’m sorry for your heartbreak. There’s no wrong way to grieve and no easy way. Just be gentle and kind to yourself.
Thank you. How sweet of you to take the time to read and comment. I love your blog!!
May your grief be soothed by the memories of those times you shared with her. I am sure you were/are both very special people. So sorry for such a sad loss.The poem was so beautiful.
Thank you so much!
I’m deeply sorry for your loss dear friend. Please know that you are in my prayers.❤
That means a lot my sweet friend💖
So sorry for your deep loss Diane. ❤
Thank you Diana 💖
Really well expressed. I hope your heart continues to heal.
Thank you Alex💖
Right back at ya Ralph💖
I couldn’t just leave your reply with a Like so I’ve come back to your words in my Notifications. It’s so difficult to know what to say to you Diane after losing someone so close and cherished in your life. That sword in your heart is real and hurts. I wish I could give you a real hug and say nothing. xox ❤
You said it perfectly Ralph. I love your heart!
Peace to you my friend. ❤
Thank you Deb – safe travels💖
So sorry for your sadness and grief. You’ve expressed it poignantly and beautifully.
Thank you Susan. I guess yesterday just caught me off guard.
No perfect way indeed and everyone grieves differently! I give in to it and feel it all and each time my heart heals a little more! Blessings and comfort! 😄
Thank you Michelle💖