crying with head down

I smile and life goes on,

I even laughed today,

but something that would normally just annoy me

ruins my whole day.

My feelings are all muddled

and yet I have to face my life.

I have to go to work,

be a mom, a friend a wife.

Things that normally wouldn’t hurt me

fill me with so much pain,

I lash out in anger,

needing someone else to blame.

I want to cry and yell,

to fall into a heap

to make the world go away,

to make it stop, so I can sleep.

I want to ask you why..

you think that I should be okay?

When I just lost my best friend

only yesterday?

My laughter isn’t real

my smile is purely fake

My heart is aching

the whole time I’m awake

The hole is gaping, I can’t forget,

as all day the memories weave

How does anyone do it right?

When there is no perfect way to grieve?

Diane Reed

2015©

40 thoughts on “Today Was A Bad Day”

  1. Sorry Do, I only just saw this post. How heartbreaking to lose your best friend.. Must be hard to even begin to process all those beautiful memories you had and to cope with the knowledge that the last one has been made. Your poem made me feel the rawness of your grief and reminded me of the time I slumped to the floor in sorrow as I learnt of the passing of a special friend. It was like something out of a horrible movie- we never imagine things will end do we and it’s so cruel when we have to face reality that our last conversation has happened. Praying for you to cope. It’s understandable too, if this contributed to your writer’s block.

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  2. Lost your best friend, Diane? The desire to fall into a heap because of this huge, gaping hole inside of you––indeed! What deep agony! My heart goes out to you. Praying for peace and rest for you! 💕

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  4. A very beautiful poem straight fro the heart. It’s the only way to deal with life …write …get it off your chest . Take care .
    Cherryx

    Reply

  6. I am so sorry for your loss Diane. May God fill you with His peace, and your heart with all the joyful memories of times with your friend. Your friend will always be a part of you, and watching over you.
    Love and blessings to you Dear Diane.

    Reply

  7. It comes in waves. They recapitulate, but should slowly diminish in their peaks and crests. Let them come, it means you feel, it means you have a heart. Love knows no boundaries, and after a time you will feel a different sort of closeness, a heart string that knows life is also a dream …

    Reply

  11. May your grief be soothed by the memories of those times you shared with her. I am sure you were/are both very special people. So sorry for such a sad loss.The poem was so beautiful.

    Reply

      1. I couldn’t just leave your reply with a Like so I’ve come back to your words in my Notifications. It’s so difficult to know what to say to you Diane after losing someone so close and cherished in your life. That sword in your heart is real and hurts. I wish I could give you a real hug and say nothing. xox ❤

        Reply

  18. No perfect way indeed and everyone grieves differently! I give in to it and feel it all and each time my heart heals a little more! Blessings and comfort! 😄

    Reply

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