daddy playing the guitar to me

I am blessed to have the dads in my life that I do. We celebrated them today. And I am so grateful for them both. Having said that, I am not sure why this year was especially tough for me. It started out looking for cards. Funny because as a greeting card creator, I usually have taken on that task myself. But my daughter is getting married next Saturday!! And my plate is pretty full. Though I did manage to throw a little BBQ  in honor of our dads, I just couldn’t shake the one that was missing.

You see my dad died at 51 jogging around the block. It is funny to think that he was younger than I am now. Just a few weeks after Father’s Day thirty-four years ago. You would think that the missing him would subside. But it never does. If I think about it long enough, I usually can fall to pieces, at least inside. Like looking for cards. I found some pretty good ones this year. But I had to put back the ones about carrying me and putting band aids on my knee and being there to watch me grow up as I silently whispered…”Daddy I haven’t forgotten you, thank you.”

I remember the long talks and the Saturday drives, You being the one to take me school clothes shopping every year and going to the top floor of your office building so you could make Snoopy Calendars for me and my friends. And you telling me that someday all the disk drives that filled that floor would someday, maybe even in my lifetime, fit on one desk and maybe even in my hand! Oh how I wish you could see just how much your predictions all came to pass.

I remember loving to make you laugh and wanting to show you first when I got an A or learned something new. I remember you loved to read my poems and said you thought I had something special. Sometimes I wonder what you would think of me and I have a million things I want to tell you and a million more I want to ask. All I can say is thank you for being there when I needed you most, whether to just sit there with me through a broken heart,  telling me that I hadn’t even met anyone who deserved me yet, but I would.  And being so happy for me when I was happy again.

You were such a great grandpa for such a short time. But you showered your new grandson with such love. And I have a feeling that you hand picked my baby girl for me from up there in heaven. As I looked through all the pictures to go back and find ones of us. I watched as a whole lifetime passed me by. You missed so much. It isn’t fair…. that the good ones die too young.

Happy Father’s Day Daddy. I will always remember you.

daddy playing the guitar to me

My Dad singing … “Winston tastes good like a cigarette should.” (For those born after the sixties, it was a commercial jingle. He was always a funny guy. The hole still is raw if I stay there too long. Today,  I just had to wander back. I am sure there are many that stood in front of the cards this year and remembered too… That the good die young.

22 thoughts on “I Will Always Remember You

    1. I know it is so hard. Time does heal the rawest part of the hole they left. But it is always there and sometimes it can catch you off guard at the darnedest times!😉❤️

  1. Diane,
    I have missed your writing, and this one slipped by me until this morning. I can only hope I have left my children (and grand children) with half the love I feel through your words here. Yes, fathers can be larger than life, and even though we shared a body with our mothers, a fathers love completes the circle, allowing us to become a vessel that holds so many emotions, tears of joy and sadness, poured out carefully guided by their love.
    Many blessings!

    1. Peter,
      What an amazing comment. As always. There are just some that never disappoint. Thank you for always being so eloquent. And always really reading and so thoughtfully responding. L am blessed by you in my life!

  2. Indeed it’s true the good die young Di. And for me it’s been almost 25 years my father passed. I too still think about him every day and never stop missing him. ❤

  3. Such a beautiful, touching tribute. WOW! You must have had an awesome relationship with your dad. I just loved reading this.

      1. Little girls need daddies who will love them unconditionally. Sounds like you had that for yourself. You are truly blessed.

    1. Marian,
      Thank you so much!
      And thank you for the well wishes!
      It is a destination wedding and so a little stressful but I am hoping to have a lot of joy filled material and a catalyst to new stories! I have been kind of stuck in mother of the bride mode, focusing only on that!
      But I will be back!

  4. That is crazy! I’d initially written 24 years ago, but just realized that I was off ten years! It was 34 years ago. I had to go back and edit that 😮

  5. D, where have you been. I haven’t heard from your end of the world for such a long time …… ! So nice that you had a wonderful father and the memories that you could carry forward with you. Hugs !!!

    1. (((PAUL)))) Hugs back!
      I don’t know. My daughter is getting married this Saturday and between throwing showers and working and trying to get ready for it all… my time and creativity well has kind of gone to powder. But I need to write something for her so of course am procrastinating here. Smile.
      But thank you for noticing. I will be back with focus after this wedding! I promise!

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