There comes a time in everyone’s life where we each have a day of reckoning. Much more than an “AHA” moment, more like a series of lessons that all come together at once. Similar to those mountain top highs that we experience at a High School youth camp when we are touched by a certain speaker’s message or just the praise songs sung around a campfire. Promising to God and ourselves the magnificent change we are about to make, really believing that we can make those changes…. That is, until we come down off of that mountain to face the real world. And are hit by “life.” When we are younger, it may be peer pressure, school, home life, whatever pushes our buttons that help us fail at being that person we really want to be. And yet as adults with decades behind us, we have a clearer picture and are more aware of our daily mistakes. Though we try to live right, have faith, be patient and kind, love our neighbors, our family, even our enemies until something happens that tests that faith and we  hit that bend in the road or the proverbial bottom of where we end up in a crisis, when we feel as if we have failed.

The older we get, more “stuff” gets in the way. And we feel more of an urgency to take account of our lives. But in a more surface matters of the heart kind of way. Believing that it is genuine but still becoming easily discouraged or offended. And not remembering that down on your knees kind of faith. Until that is, we start losing loved ones, or dealing with health issues, or financial crisis, relationship issues,  or whatever will send you to that proverbial “bottom” of where we hit when we feel helpless…. It is only then when we stop and take a good look at everything in a way that we haven’t for a while, maybe even not since that High School Camp experience.

I’ve had several crisis in my life. And have tried to renew my faith each time. But looking back, in a very primary kind of way. Though I genuinely meant it each time and was going through a kind of information gathering process. I don’t really believe that I understood this thing we call faith as much as I feel I do now. (And am still learning about it.) Through deaths and divorce, illnesses, financial stuff and getting on my knees kind of catostrophes. Everytime, making promises and praying for answers and receiving those answers but not continuing that walk of faith in the good times as well. NOW, realizing that even as I failed to follow through, I needed to go through those times of not following through, to land where I am now and to know that I need to keep getting down on my knees,  going in my prayer closet and giving it all to HIM daily. Not just when I need something but also to thank Him for His answers.

Recently a friend of my husband’s died and at the Memorial they gave away a book called Proof of Heaven, written by Eben Alexander M.D.  a Scientist and Brain Surgeon who got sick, and had a near death experience that he didn’t believe in as a Scientist and Surgeon beforehand. I highly recommend the book!  The one thing that really poked my heart was where he shared the (3) feelings of heaven that impacted him most… He said that he felt this overwhelming feeling of… (1) Love, (2) no fear, and (3) that he could do no wrong. The last one hit me the most and I was overcome by something inside of me that is so hard to explain. The realization that everything the Bible teaches us is about forgiveness and non judgement hit me with such a powerful impact it made me cry. I never really truly understood just how much I have felt like a failure in my life. To feel as if I could do no wrong would simply be heaven for me.

I believe that when we hit bottom, we are supposed to learn from those times. To rise up stronger than before. God has put people in my life with examples of strength that humble me. And make me count my blessings. To think that I don’t have it “so bad” and yet I wonder, why are they so strong as they continue to be a servant without complaining? And somehow I think that as I go through each trial, I am just beginning to learn how to fall on my knees, on my face and just believe. Isn’t that what we are called to do? Why haven’t I gotten that yet? Though mountain top highs are great memories of times when we felt as if we could almost touch the hem of our Lord, there is something about reaching a point in our life where we have to stop snatching back those prayers we  lay at HIS feet, and truly get down on our face where we are closer to the hem and just humbly believe that He is in charge and let Him be. Only then will we feel what it truly feels to be free.


Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, “for the LORD your God goes with you; He will never leave you nor fasake you.” Deuteronomy 31:6

Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding, in all your ways submit to Him and He will make your paths straight Proverbs 3:5-6

16 thoughts on “The Proverbial Bottom – “Just believe”

  1. This is fantastic Diane! So true, isn’t it, that God gives us exactly what we need – challenges, people in our path, so that we may learn and have soul growth. Thank you so much for this inspiring post! Anita.

  2. Thank you for sharing some your heart felt challenges, Diane. Life sure does seem to bring us to our knees. Lord knows I’ve had some of my own times. One thing I’ve come to discover, though, on my journey is #3 what struck you the hardest — you can do no wrong. I had to get passed the doctrines and to the pure innocence of real love. It’s hard to get past when you’ve been taught from the beginning that you’re a sinner. Love and hugs, my friend.

  3. Hello Sweetness
    Read your very nice post and admire you for your faith and trust. As far as hitting bottom, sometimes I believe that there is no “bottom” as it seems that quite often I find myself in a constant state of free fall. Hope all is well with you and yours. ……………Hugs 🙂

  4. So, you know that I have a huge amount of respect for people of faith, who live their lives true to their faiths. Even if their efforts aren’t perfect. We are all humans after all.

    But …

    Do you understand how a non-believer like me, who has seen a whole lot of “religious” folks do a whole lot of horrible things to their fellow humans can see this … “that he could do no wrong” … and just really get a major case of heartburn about the whole thing. This basically excuses anything and everything. I just can’t get past that.

    1. First let me say that I love that we have bumped into each other on our journey in this crazy world and you definitely have caused me to think about a lot of things I might not have. But… you do understand that we are talking about heaven, right? Obviously there are people who do wrong here on earth. Anyone who thinks they can do no wrong here is sadly mistaken. But… 😏
      Heaven for a believer is the promised place for those that believe and there is no evil or sadness there. That idea has always been so abstract for me that it has been hard for me to GET it. So when I read that sentence that he felt as if he “could do no wrong” those 4 words really overwhelmingly hit me.
      Because if you believe the promise is that all your sins are washed away. If you get that far. Your slate is blank.
      I urge you to read the book. It is intelligently written so I think you’d enjoy it.

    2. By the way, you are right. NOone deserves it. Not even the greatest people who try to do good all their lives that YOU would deem worthy let alone the wretched, evil people nor the ones that profess to be Christians but do horrible, despicable, backstabbing things through out their lives. Nor even the atheists who deny the existence of God throughout their lives. All they all have to do is really truly just believe. And you are right it doesn’t make sense. That is why it’s called GRACE. & that is why i cried. Because I finally GET it. It’s not how good you are or the works you do. It’s simply having faith. Because NOONE is ever going to deserve it. Jesus died for our sins. All of us. And my whole point for writing this was when you finally understand that, you end up on your knees. But you can’t believe just because I do. It is a heart thing. But even just bothering to read this or writing a response to it, means you are are at least trying to understand and perhaps even searching a little. 😏

        1. It’s taken me years and I’m still trying to GET it. I think a lot like you. But I scrutinize everything & fail daily in my own walk. I can write something about faith & believing & then fall on my face when something goes wrong. Trying to understand grace is baffling mostly because it’s grace!! ☺️

          1. I’m a firm believer in Grace, but as with most things for me, it is non-religious. It is about kindness, forgiveness, love, and just being good to those you come in contact with. And, yes, I fail at it every day.

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