This past weekend. I had an AHA moment. My husband and I were just starting our Saturday, out driving. I’d been home most of the week due to life’s circumstances and it was just nice to be out in the sunshine. I was just day dreaming out the window and enjoying the moment and realized I was happy. In that moment, in those seconds, I felt the joy and I recognized it. I love my husband. But inside that minute, I realized that I liked that guy sitting next to me. His integrity, his ethics & morals, his sense of humor and just him! I’m not sure “I” could say that about me. It’s sad. I know he loves me. I know he enjoys things about me. But if I were him. I’m not sure I really could say that about me. That I “like” myself. I feel that I basically see the negative in EVERYTHING. Well, maybe not “everything” and maybe not 100% of the time. But I don’t always wake up happy and I am annoyed easily. The glass isn’t always half empty, but it’s usually not always half full when I first look at it. I have to talk myself into being positive a lot of the time.

Depression is something I have fought, most of my adult life. I’ve resisted it because I feel that circumstances weigh into this condition. I mean negative things happen and it’s hard not to succumb. It’s not rocket science. If bad things happen, it’s hard for me to make lemonade, period. But having said that, I told you guys I was going to find the Joy and so on our drive this Saturday afternoon. I found it. Well, until some idiot ruined my mood. Okay I am joking now. But something really did happen that stole my joy and I let it.

So I haven’t shared something with you guys, but my in-laws moved in with us a while ago, and it has been an adjustment for all of us. But recently I have been reading the Bible in a different way and like I shared in my last post, I’ve really been wanting God to talk to me. I’ve kind of needed all the help I can get with my attitude. And I must admit, it has helped me a lot. That is, until I feel guilty, knowing I fall short a lot. Even so, I’ve been feeling Him and I am hopeful that maybe I can change. And be less negative.

Anyway, a few weeks ago, my mother in law fell and broke her ankle. She has been pretty tough and is braver than most. But it has been an adjustment for her to have to sit still and depend on others. Now I’d like to think that I am compassionate and can help where needed and not be as much of a brat as I think I am. And this isn’t really funny, but it is in a way because I feel God has a sense of humor and talks to me sometimes in ways only I understand. Yesterday, I was talking to a friend I hadn’t seen in a while and told her that my mother in law had broken her ankle and she said… “Oh no, are YOU okay?!” In that minute, we both laughed. That pretty much told me everything I needed to know. I AM that much of a brat. Sigh.

19 thoughts on “Finding The Joy… Continued….

  1. I am just tickled pink to be re-connecting with you. Our personalities are so much alike! this makes me giggle, and it also makes my heart become full of joy that we both have the same sweet Savior that continually draws us to Him. You have made my week! ❤

    1. I hopped on here to write and found a ton of comments I didn’t realize I missed. I read Psalm 91 and thought of you reading it too! Have you ever read any of Karen Kingsbury’s books? I love them! I get them in Audio Book form. I used to drive a lot. Back and forth to LA until the pandemic hit. So I have tons of them. I sent a series to one of my best friends and started reading the same ones over again or listening to them so we could chat about them. Anyway, I love that we are reading Psalms together. I started reading 92 as well. It really has helped my soul!

        1. Hi Theresa,
          I will definitely be praying for ya! I know those times and they can be hard. I asked the Lord to give me some special verses for you…

          Be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Romans 12:2

          I loved you at your darkest. Romans 5:8

          Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go. Joshua 1:9

          She who kneels before God can stand before anyone. Romans 8:39

          Perfect love casts out fear 1 John 4:18

  2. You’re not a brat. It’s an incredible challenge to deal with aging parents (or aging in-laws). My mom has had some health issues over the past year that have required me to step in and be more involved in her life. I’m really struggling with patience in that capacity. Really struggling. I set as a goal for this year that I would be more patient with her, but it is soooooooooooooo difficult to do. Give yourself permission to struggle with this new wrinkle in your life. It’s okay.

    1. I was just going to blurt out I LOVE YOU lol… Thank you so much. My dad died of a heart attack when I was 26. Way too young to lose him so it wasn’t a blessing. But I do pray that when God takes me home, I do go quickly! It’s a blessing if it’s in your 80s or so and you’ve lived a long blessed life. But not 51 like my dad was. Having said that… I took care of my mom for a few months before she died and it was tough but I am glad I was there to do it now. I remember her saying… “I never thought the roles would be reversed like this did you?” I’m sure it is mortifying. I think though, it is hard to be the care giver. And I love your heart for wanting patience. I think in my case it’s the guilt for feeling the way I do, that is hard on me. Guilt and fear are my triggers to anger and my dark side…. And I know it! lol. Thanks again for giving me a reprieve. xoxo!

  3. I was just thinking about you the other day, and wondered why you hadn’t posted anything. Well, good to see you’re back True. God has a sense of humor, and will speak to us in a manner sometimes foreign to us. Never the less, He will speak when we most need Him. Good read. Hope your mom is doing better. Blessings.

    1. But I want HIM to say things and speak to me! He told me to read His word IF I wanted to hear Him. It was crystal clear in my heart. I love when He uses His sense of humor for me to see myself… Even if He uses another person as His vessel!

        1. In most cases. Though… Actually in this case, I was referring to my friend that asked if I was okay after telling her that my mother in law broke her ankle. LOL. God spoke to me loud and clear about an attitude adjustment I may need.. LOl.

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