In my quest to “hear” God, so far I’ve read Joshua, Daniel, Ruth and then I started reading Samuel and all of my last posts here, seemed to tumble on top of each other. Especially the one about Turning Over A New Leaf and all of the others that were holding me accountable. Let me just say that Samuel made me just want to skip to the New Testament when I saw it was over 30 chapters and there is a 2nd Samuel! But I continued to read and am loving it.
But THAT is my problem. I have been so lazy about really wanting to dig into anything that requires any real time. To investigate the facts, to really understand. But once you get past the names and places that I can’t pronounce, I am finding God’s messages to me specifically all over the place and I’m realizing that from the time I was a student, I got distracted easily. Even during a sermon, I’m embarrassed to admit, that I like the personal stories shared, but have tuned out when they’ve been applied to scripture verses.
I do believe that God appoints each one of us our own Guardian Angels and that they follow us through all of our mountain top highs and our valley lows. Our stupid choices and some good ones too. Mine must be weary by all of those mountain top highs I’ve been on, where everything was going to be different. Whether away at camp, around a campfire, or going forward in church and landing on my knees, or praying quietly in Sunday School or on my face, in the privacy of my room, alone with God. I am sure my Angel has stopped being excited about my metaphorical forest of leaves I’ve turned over and promises I’ve made to myself and God. Maybe why all of a sudden I’ve been inspired to paint these poor, tired looking exhausted Angels! It’s made me really think about this pattern I’ve been on. Once my daughter told me that when I write, I use the same formula. And that’s stuck with me since she told me that. Perhaps because it really resonated that it’s not just in my writing. But how I’ve lived my life.
All I know is… you can only do better when you finally realize what you’ve been doing wrong. So Here I go, still trying to find the joy, digging into Samuels… One and two! Until we meet again… I’ll check in after I’ve read them BOTH!