It seems a little ridiculous. I’m a grandma, and today I feel as if I am an orphan. Pretty silly, huh? I’ve been going through this catastrophically tremulous period in my life. My dad died way too young. He was 51 jogging around the block. My mom died a few years ago and I think it didn’t affect me as much as my dad’s death still does. Until now. Maybe because my dad’s was such an unexpected and untimely death and my mom was 83 and not in the greatest health. She was suffering and a believer, so I felt that she was going to a better place and wouldn’t have to suffer anymore. So, it was bitter sweet.
A couple of years after my dad died, my stepdad came along, married my mom, and promptly sold our family home that I grew up in. I was married at the time, and it was my mom’s decision, and I was happy that she was happy again and moving on. But there was just a tiny bit of a piece of my legacy and a little bit of my dad, falling away from the foundation I knew. Later, I would come to fully understand just what a pattern this truly was. The quick decisions, obviously not ever needing any input from me. Shrug, smile.
My mom moved quickly. They combined households and then purchased one together. Now they are selling the home that they lived in for a few decades and for some reason I feel like an orphan. Kind of like I don’t belong to a part of a family anymore. I mean, the one I came from. Now, I know, I am part of my own family, the one I made with my husband. And I guess that is the way it is meant to be. And the friends I have made in my lifetime have become family. But it’s a funny feeling when the ones that once felt like family, feel like strangers. And your beginning foundation or heritage is gone, like dust swept beneath the carpet. It just makes me sad. And writing is my way of figuring things out. But I don’t think anyone can explain this one to me. Except maybe… there are certain times when you find out people’s true colors and that’s when you make yourself a promise to never be surprised again. Because NOW you know what to expect.
Once upon a time.. there was this girl….
who had a family….
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