Well, I’m really going to know who my real reader friends are. I can’t believe it has been this long since I’ve signed on. I feel like a really BAD friend. But in a way I feel like Dorothy, when she said “There’s no place like home.” Ya know? There’s just something comforting about WordPress and my friends here. My only defense is that I can’t respond or even LIKE on my phone. So though I may read your posts, unless I actually sit down in front of my laptop, I can’t connect with anyone, to say how I agree or was touched by something. But that just sounds lazy.

Another lame excuse is this darn writer’s block. I was so overwhelmed with life that I finally had to make an appointment with my doctor and after boasting to our insurance agent, that “no I wasn’t on any prescriptions.” That changed quickly as I was rushed to the hospital with a nose bleed that wouldn’t stop and a blood pressure of over 200/130 give or take a little. So now I’m on a few. Hummph! Blood pressure and antacid and for anxiety. I won’t bore you with the stories I couldn’t even make up if I tried of what’s been going on in my life, but then again that’s why I am on a little anti anxiety pill that I fought to not be on. But you know what? Besides a little writer’s block, it has really been one of the best decisions I’ve ever made!

I think before I say things, and catch myself a lot more now. Thinking… Do I really need to say that? Or is this or that necessary? My mom used to say “before you say something, you know might not go over well, ask yourself, do I really want to die on that hill?” Basically meaning to choose your battles. And it really is freeing. Not to say I’m not annoyed, but not quiet as easily.

I don’t have to jump in to every conversation and relate to their experience. I can just listen and learn more about the person talking and not have to be a part of everyone else’s stories. I’m chuckling a little because I do sound as if I was quite annoying now, don’t I? But seriously. I wish I’d been a little more willing to admit that I really was depressed and just didn’t like myself. And now I really kinda do! And that also is feeing.

Maybe I just needed to sit down in front of this old keyboard and make myself start writing, to get rid of the idea that I I have writer’s block. It’s a bit like making yourself exercise. I guess I’m going through a teensie metamorphosis as I shake off my wings and try to fly again.

18 thoughts on “I could barely remember how to log in!!!

  1. I don’t publish enough either, but I do keep journaling, as often the hand with a pen in it does well as the saying goes to “move the spirit, don’t wait for it to move you”. Recall Soaring? Flying was the easy part, the landings took real work 😉

        1. Saw this today and something told me to share it with you (moving the spirit) –
          “As she became an internationally acclaimed author, Octavia Butler was often asked for her advice to young writers. She always said that the most important thing was to write every day, whether you feel like it or not. ‘Screw inspiration,’ she said.”
          — Daily Rituals: Women at Work by Mason Currey

  2. Hi Dianne! I tried to like your post and remembered that I have not been able to log into my WordPress account in forever. So I tried again and somehow succeeded. So thank you for causing me to return!

    I have been on anti-anxiety meds for a very long time. Xanax used to be the thing that worked best but my doctor will no longer give it to me because of my age (65). What I have been switched to is an anti-itch medication of all things but it works tremendously well. I’m going to run up and down two flights of stairs just for you so I am sure to tell you exactly what it is in case you are curious . . .

    Hydroxyzine Hal Tabs 25 mg
    Generic for: Altarax Tabs

    That stuff works magic for me and there is zero narcotic or other effects. It just keeps the anxiety away and when it rarely doesn’t I take one or two more and it does the trick. In case your meds make you feel drugged or whatever this might be an alternative. YMMV.

    1. Okay let me try one more time! I was so happy to hear from ya! I’ve thought about you over the years! One of my first real readers!!!!!
      I totally know what you mean about not like to feel drugged. I’m on Lexipro and it is almost like a placebo effect. The only way I really know it’s doing anything is that I can’t cry like I did over things that touch me like a hallmark commercial or movie. LOL. But I wouldn’t want anything that made me like a zombie. I just don’t seem to get as annoyed as I used to and can let things go. Which is good because my life has given me high blood pressure. I guess part of getting old. I just got on mecicare this year and it was a crazy wake up call. I actually thought it would be less $$$ but if you want a supplement it is anything but less!
      Anyway, so good to hear from you! Thanks for checking in!

  3. You were never annoying before.

    Whatever you need to do to address whatever it is that is going in your life, do it. I just hope that includes engaging and interacting and writing and sharing your feelings and who you are.

    I hope for health and wellness for you. Today, tomorrow, and for every day.

    1. What a sweet thing to say! I feel excited to write again! Thank you so much. I know I’ve told you before, but I tried to like a few things as I read them but to comment I have to sign in on my phone, but you are one of the first writers I read. I feel politically educated when I read your views. LOL. I have my Democrat daughter and my Republican son and my conservative husband, so I hear everything and I really feel I rely on you to be reasonably impartial. Sometimes I even quote you to sound like I know what I’m talking about! LOL.

      1. I most definitely lean Democratic, which should be obvious. 😉 But I’m so frustrated with a lot of what is going on with both sides, I think I’m an equal opportunity critic.

        1. LOL. I knew that. But you reason and weigh both sides out intelligently and aren’t one that won’t budge one way or the other. I mean I think no matter what party we are. We are all pretty disappointed with the state of affairs!

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