No one really has ever said I couldn’t except me, to myself. I start out with a dream like writing a book or setting a goal and something seems to always get in the way. Life circumstances, finances, setbacks, me needed in other places. And it never seems to happen for me. But I realize it’s really me getting in my own way. I just need to step in it! With both feet. I spend days trying to get organized and have tried to figure out why I’m so stuck. I feel I’ve stepped in it and really and truly can’t pull out. I make one doll at a time, draw one picture at a time.
When I met my husband, he helped me publish a little children’s book. My stepdad helped me finance it, we had to buy 2000 copies, so does that count? I mean we kind of published our own book. But I did write and illustrate it and put it in production, so I made it happen. But I was a lot younger then. That was over 20 years ago and I only have a handful left so I guess it was basically a success and we sold enough to make it profitable, but that also was a few at a time over a couple of decades.
I watch my daughter take an idea and create a successful business and brand and watch her grow it. I never doubt that she can take nothing and make it into something great. And know that whoever invests in helping her won’t be sorry. She has educated herself by researching and developing everything she wants to learn about. I just sit in awe and don’t worry about her at all. In my head, she’s already succeeded.
Her next goal is to open up a bakery and she has been blessed with backers and is on her way to her next dream. I’m so proud. In a way she is my success. You always want more for your children and she is confident and I think I had something to do with that. So why can’t I be?
I usually have a twist where at the end, I have an enlightening “Ah Ha” message. Sorry folks, I got nothing. I might have to get a job.
The One Thing I know For Sure 
My guess would be that there are a lot of people you regularly invest in who are greatly impacted. You keep up with your home and your family responsibilities and that is no small thing. On the side you make your cards and dolls and other things, and you sell them. That is really a lot! And you actually published a book! Maybe you feel stuck but it may just feel that way compared to what you want to be doing. The ambitions in your mind that are tugging at you. Life doesn’t always move at the pace we want. But it is still moving us forward, I believe. Hugs & blessings!
Wow Tina, I had to read your comment a few times to feed my soul! Your words were like vitamins for me! Thank you!
xo
I look at your pictures, and then read this, especially about your daughters success and think (feel) “You are using the wrong yardstick”
I love that! What a great saying and thought to ponder!
xo
Diane, some years ago you wrote a book called Folded Pages. I don’t remember how but you gave me a copy and it blew me away. I remember thinking at the time that this was an important book and should be published as difficult as that would be. You are a brilliant writer, you need to know that.
Wow. Thank you! I probably trusted you with my rough draft. And such a blessing that I did! To know that someone actually read it all the way through is the best compliment and inspiration I could ever ask for!
xo
I read it in one sitting. I could not put it down. I was horrified, intrigued, exhilarated at the strength of the individuals. I said at the time and I will reiterate it: This should be published, widely.
YOU my friend are just what I needed! What a gift! So sweet and the best inspiration! I love you!!!!! Thank you!
It’s odd … when I was a child, I don’t think my parents every told me I couldn’t do something … at least from an ability stand point. But they were expert at limitations nonetheless. Don’t do something because it’s not safe, because I might get hurt. You can’t do that because … well, how are you going to get to and from the activity? My parents had four kids in five years. So … to keep them from losing their minds, we were just limited. And I’m okay with that.
But, as an adult now, I have to consciously try to beat down those instilled limitations. To set aside my fears and the risks and stick my neck out there. I am my own worst critic as an adult. My second worst critic is my child voice reminding me that there isn’t time for this or it will hurt me or … just … or … sometimes. It’s a constant challenge to beat that voice down.
How ironic. I probably told you that my inlaws moved in a few years ago… anyway my mother in-law is a psychologist. Still practicing on me. LOL. And she talks a lot about going back to find the child in us. By the dreams we have, etc… I’ve always found it interesting that our childhoods consist of a little less than a couple decades compared to the years most of us are blessed to live. And yet those earlier years influence more than anything! AND the biggie is that most of us don’t really mull that over until we are generally way into our fifties and sixties. I know people in their eighties just coming to terms with their childhood experiences. It is time for us to go back and find that kid in all of us and give them the grace to move on. Each one is so unique and different that no textbook can really help. We just have to embrace the walls we put up because of those things and hurt us. And realize we did what we knew how to do to protect that child.
I didn’t really have any childhood trauma as most people would view the term. Just raised in a certain way that was very limiting. I agree about finding the kid inside.
I think we talked about it a time before perhaps, but maybe not. I just feel we have a lot of similar experiences. I as well, feel that my childhood was pretty normal. Not the horrific trauma we read about. But lets face it, our parents are human and they made their share of mistakes that effected us. It’s funny, not until recently have I really come to terms with some of those things. Like having to take on my mom’s worries mainly because she shared too much. Stuff that a kid shouldn’t have to be concerned about. So I feel some of my childhood was high jacked and though I basically had an amazing childhood. We all have our stuff. So I understand what you mean.
Do I prefer the notion of being raised differently than I was? Maybe? But I have absolutely no criticisms for how my parents raised me. And neither do two of my siblings. On the other hand, one of my sisters thinks her childhood was hell and our mother is responsible for every bad thing that has happened to her.
The way I look at it is that my parents provided for us, they loved us in their way, we were not abused or neglected. And three out of the four kids grew up to be functional, decent human beings who have done at least okay, if not better, as adults. So, again, I’m not complaining.
I knew you weren’t. I GET it. And I also Get that one kid in the family that disrupts everyone else’s life by their perspective. I also have a sister that blames everyone else for her actions. It’s hard to love them and not care, it’s hard to set up boundaries without feeling you should be doing more. My mom was a great mom and I was a daddy’s girl. He died too young. He was a good grandpa to my son who was 3 when he died and he never got to meet my daughter who I had 4 years later. I’ve already shared some of their mistakes but by no means did I experience… blatant abuse you hear about in other’s stories of an abusive childhood. Though the mistakes they made, did effect me and the older I get and them more reflective I become, I do feel there was some damage done and why I am who I am today. In the same way, I reflect on my own parenting mistakes and know that though my son and daughter had the same mother and father, the seven years difference created two very different people. They could not be farther apart in all aspects. My son was 12 when we divorced and my daughter was just turning 4 when I met my husband now, so benefited from my husband now raising her, where as my son was loyal to his dad and was tough on my new husband who tried his best to guide him. It is funny to think that my husband was only 33 when he took on the responsibility of two kids. Though I still wonder who my son takes after and I am afraid it might be me. LOL.