Sorry, I took a little powder AGAIN!! After I promised myself I would write daily! No excuses. But I got a job helping to run a bakery and I love it! I follow a routine but I get some creative freedom and I love that! For one, I am in charge of getting the donuts out before 7AM! Yep that means I am up before the sun! But you know how you might love a maple bar and a chocolate bar? But you might not want the calories of both? Well, I created a half maple, half chocolate bar! I KNOW, brilliant, huh? LOL. Possibly someone else has thought of that too but I’ve never seen it. Anyway I love my job. I’ve always had more upscale jobs, like Counselor to Adolescents and working with Aphasic kids, and owning a store, and my art business and Event Coordinating, but I love the people I work with and feel they like me and there’s no drama for once!
Though other parts of my life are chaos. It’s fun to feel as if I am contributing to our finances and hopefully feeling as if I am doing a good job. Though my back is really annoying and I would love it if God healed it, I know that nothing is perfect and it is what it is.
My Guardian Angel must be exhausted. I believe I’ve given her a run for her money. Whatever that saying means. She has had her work cut out for her lately. Between family, finances and just life. I’ve felt my energy being sucked out of me. Funny, though I am loving my job! (I haven’t been able to say that for a long time!) If I didn’t have all the aches and pains , I’d be a happy camper. At least I am alive and relatively healthy. I guess if my back hurts, “it is what it is.” Right?
When my friend was dying, I noticed that she said “It is what it is.” a lot. And she wasn’t wrong. She had money and so for a long time, she designed her own team of doctors that kept her alive with a pretty advanced stage of Cancer for almost twenty years. She also found her faith during that time and so between God and her team she survived longer than anyone guessed she would with her diagnosis. We were best friends since we were four years old. She lost her fight a few years ago.
Another good friend who was a constant in my life, had been fighting her own battle for several years. In fact when she got her diagnosis, another friend of mine and I slipped into a waiting list that my friend and her mom gave up when they received the news. Later I met her and realized it was her slot we’d taken. We were friends for several years. Her husband and mine were best friends so we did everything together and there is a gaping hole in my life where both of my friends once were. Over the years, I’ve lost several people.
I remember before I’d really lost anyone, it was just a kind of phantom-ish thought that losses were emminent. And then my dad died of a heart attack at 51 when I was still in my 20s. Its the kind of loss that takes your breath away. All of a sudden your life changes the way you know it. Even though I was married and out of the house, it’s nothing you are prepared for. As a child the two things I feared the most of losing were my parents.
Once you’ve lost someone, it’s not easier to lose someone else. But with a weary reservation, you do kind of take on the concept of, “it is what it is.” And that’s the beginning of resigning to the fact that there are always going to be highs and lows. In sickness and health, for richer or poorer, in relationships and in life and death. I guess that is why we recite those wedding vows. They already know what lies ahead for us. Whether in marriage or in life. It is what it is.