I could barely remember how to log in!!!

Well, I’m really going to know who my real reader friends are. I can’t believe it has been this long since I’ve signed on. I feel like a really BAD friend. But in a way I feel like Dorothy, when she said “There’s no place like home.” Ya know? There’s just something comforting about WordPress and my friends here. My only defense is that I can’t respond or even LIKE on my phone. So though I may read your posts, unless I actually sit down in front of my laptop, I can’t connect with anyone, to say how I agree or was touched by something. But that just sounds lazy.

Another lame excuse is this darn writer’s block. I was so overwhelmed with life that I finally had to make an appointment with my doctor and after boasting to our insurance agent, that “no I wasn’t on any prescriptions.” That changed quickly as I was rushed to the hospital with a nose bleed that wouldn’t stop and a blood pressure of over 200/130 give or take a little. So now I’m on a few. Hummph! Blood pressure and antacid and for anxiety. I won’t bore you with the stories I couldn’t even make up if I tried of what’s been going on in my life, but then again that’s why I am on a little anti anxiety pill that I fought to not be on. But you know what? Besides a little writer’s block, it has really been one of the best decisions I’ve ever made!

I think before I say things, and catch myself a lot more now. Thinking… Do I really need to say that? Or is this or that necessary? My mom used to say “before you say something, you know might not go over well, ask yourself, do I really want to die on that hill?” Basically meaning to choose your battles. And it really is freeing. Not to say I’m not annoyed, but not quiet as easily.

I don’t have to jump in to every conversation and relate to their experience. I can just listen and learn more about the person talking and not have to be a part of everyone else’s stories. I’m chuckling a little because I do sound as if I was quite annoying now, don’t I? But seriously. I wish I’d been a little more willing to admit that I really was depressed and just didn’t like myself. And now I really kinda do! And that also is feeing.

Maybe I just needed to sit down in front of this old keyboard and make myself start writing, to get rid of the idea that I I have writer’s block. It’s a bit like making yourself exercise. I guess I’m going through a teensie metamorphosis as I shake off my wings and try to fly again.