My mom was a memory making mom. She baked with me and always made a big deal about me smelling the vanilla, taught my friends and me how how to paint rocks and play candy store. She got a coffee can  and punched holes in the lid so the neighbor boy and I could catch frogs, she took cardboard boxes and made doll houses with curtains and bathroom tile, beating anything you could buy in a store. She took me to Seattle every summer and at Christmas time, we’d go shopping at the dimestore every week  for a new piece to our Nativity scene. When I was older, she began doing art shows and took me to her botiques or shows and even though I didn’t realize it then, I am sure that is why I have this dream to be a success in doing them now.

Last night, my heart was so pricked by my friend’s son. I had to write about it this morning. My friend and I met many decades ago at a baby shower of another friend. Our husbands were our boyfriends back then, and the girl was my boyfriend’s best friend’s wife, who actually was the only one I knew there that day. Though it was a teensie bit  uncomfortable showing up at a party only knowing one person,  I’d always been pretty okay about going somewhere I didn’t know people, and making new friends. But I went for my boyfriend who wanted me to go. And that is where I met Shari.

Shari’s boyfriend was the brother of my boyfriend’s bestfriend. She welcomed me with open arms, we ended up sitting together and then making a date to go to a movie we both wanted to see, later that night. (A Star Is Born with Barbra Streisand and Kris Kirstofferson) to really give you an idea of how many decades ago this was!

After that, Shari became one of my best friends and we never looked back. Literally.

We made so many memories together. We married our boyfriends. She stuck it out. My husband and I lasted 14 years. (another story) But Shari and I have lasted a lifetime. We both got pregnant within a few months of each other, her first. I remember going to the beach after having hard, flat little stomaches not too long before that and digging holes in the sand so that we could lay on our stomaches! And together, experienced the magic of having our entire lives ahead of us.

She had a grandma who made her memories with her and so together, we had that memory making trait, wanting to make memories for our kids. We used to load up our babies in their strollers and walk downtown all the time. Or take them to the mall or the park. I remember peeking in the windows of empty houses together, looking for rentals as our families grew. We had (2) two traditions we kept for years. The first one was, meeting at Toys R Us late at night, after the kids and our husbands were sound asleep, (they would open 24 hours a day, a few weeks before Christmas) and shopping together without having to fight the crowds and then going out to Bob’s or whatever was open at that time of the morning to have some kidless time was something we looked forward to every year. The other was also at Christmas time, we’d go to The King’s Table in Torrance. It was a kind of smorgasborg where the kids could serve themselves cafeteria style and  then we’d exchange Christmas gifts that we budgeted in especially for each other and we did that for years.

Last night Shari and I were messaging each other on Facebook and her youngest son, now an amazing man and daddy himself, got on and joined our conversation and the subject of memories and the King’s Table came up and I told him, I loved that he remembered that memory. And he just said three simple words that made me cry….  he said, “I always will.”

You see, as I reflect on my life, sometimes I feel as if I’ve made so many mistakes. And worry maybe that those will win out over all of the memories I tried to make. But last night, well, it meant a lot to know that we really did succeed in making some good memories that will always be remembered.



14 thoughts on ““I Always Will”

  1. Isn’t it easy to hold onto the guilt … proof that we all have photographic memories! – Then one day something like this happens, and we know there must be 10,000 “always wills” that are out there and we may never discover. If you tried to be good, then you were, what a yardstick you held up for yourself! … we can hear the warmth of your heart in these words. You are loved …

    1. Peter,
      You never fail me. ! Thank you for reading. I hope there are more I Always Wills. 😏
      My son & I had a great talk today. He’s pretty tough on me. I don’t think he ever forgave me for leaving his dad. (Due to substance abuse) I think the older he gets, he’s beginning to understand. It helps that he has a daughter who will be 18 next year. Did I just say that??😳🤭
      But it’s hard to judge your parents parenting when you’re trying to do it right.
      Thank you for your encouragement. 💗

  2. There are these memories and connections that we make in our lives that mean something. Sometimes, they mean something that we can’t even put into words. My grandmother was born in Switzerland, came to America when she was 18. She was born and lived those first eighteen years in a Swiss village — Rothenturm. I’ve never been there, but my sister is there now and posted some pictures of that village on Facebook. Even though I’ve never been there, I had this connection to the pictures and just the sense of this being a part of who I am.

    It’s the same thing with The King’s Table and other memories and things we have in our past. The older I get, the more value I see in those memories and connections.

    Thank you for sharing yours.

    1. Thank you for always reading my emotional journies that I take you on & you always really GETTING what I’m talking about! I love it! With all of your intelligence that part of you understands exactly what I was trying to convey. ☺️💗

  3. Thanks for taking me on this little walk down memory lane with you, Di. Sometimes it’s fun to take the little side trails off the main road like this one, eh? Good on you, darlin’ girl 🙂

    1. ❤️❤️❤️ You my friend are the one that I want to thank. I love your poems and should tell you more often. Today, I am on my laptop and so my computer allows me to comment or like things. But when I am on my phone it just keeps bouncing me out of anything I try to like or comment on. Not sure why. Probably and update I missed. But while I am here, I wanted to thank you too!

    1. Thank you for sharing your memories. You made them come alive and I was so touched by your friends’ son’s comment. You’ve made a big difference in his life, I can tell.

  4. This is a universal piece. I truly enjoyed reading it. Memories good and bad shape us and I understand the emotion of having memories that transcend to younger generations. This reminds me of how timeless memories really are. Thank you for sharing and making me smile.

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