I have this theory. Our lives are like an empty book. Everyday we fill another page. Sometimes we fill a whole chapter in one day and at other times we may skip many days before we make another entry. Recently, I found one of my old journals. It was from my first husband, years ago, one Christmas. He had written “Santa Claus is Coming to Town” and the date. My son was three and I was twenty six. I remember feeling so much hope for what lay ahead. It is hard to believe that so much has happened in-between those pages. So many deaths and births and hard times and celebrations. I guess what I know for sure is that life goes on. It doesn’t even stop when we do. And I have to tell you I have stopped and been stuck several times.
Today, I find myself in a place of self evaluation, in-between the pages of yesterday and today. Mainly, stuck in yesterday. I used to always want to fast forward everything but now, I wish that I could help everyone slow down and not try to get to the last page so fast. Somehow I missed out on stopping to smell the flowers or slowing down enough to experience the element of surprise.
We don’t always need to know what happens before we are there. Part of the joy is enjoying the story.
The One Thing I know For Sure 
I’m subdued that you are humbled . . . no. Don’t raise my expectations too high, I would rather be pleasantly “surprised” by greater quality/effort once things start happening here. I do see I’m not at the most recent 50 posts yet so you obviously got rolling at some point. No excuses, some of my best accomplishments have been happy accidents. I’ve done a blog before but not for years and I’ve been back at it merely since November 10. Facebook pales in comparison to this blogging community, I must say.
Define Subdued:
quiet; inhibited; repressed; controlled: After the argument he was much more subdued. 2. lowered in intensity or strength; reduced in fullness of tone, as a color …
SMILE….At least you are clicking LIKE 😉
I didn’t want to write that “I was humbled that you were humbled”. Subdued was the best I could come up with but I didn’t like any word I could come up with. A lazy comment to a lazy article? I’ll be back at this soon, at least a couple articles more today as I catch up on your blog. Gotta run and continue fixing my identity theft issues.
When I first started reading this I rolled my eyes at the thought of writing about life as filling the pages of a book. I’ll be damned if you didn’t make it work for me in spite of my trying to not like it! The notion of being stuck between pages is the kind of novel idea I always crave for and seldom find. A fun or new idea can keep my dopamine firing for hours.
The destination is so overrated. I tried recently to get a piano student to slow down and enjoy learning the next bit rather than be in that uncomfortable state of disorientation while trying to get mind and body to do something it wasn’t quite ready to do. How does not that state of disoriented confusion not drive you away from the piano? Try going at a pace that is comfortable ALWAYS, you are doing something wrong when you do that to yourself. I also explained that focus on the end performance is for professional performers who do the same 2-hour show every day for 18 months live, for mere mortals we might spend months learning one difficult piece only to perform it several times at most and to a very small audience. Does not the hours spent each day for months not add up to more than about a single hour of finished performance? The learning is the journey and since it is where we spend the vast majority of the time then should that not be the place where we place the most meaning and expectation for enjoyment? It was our last lesson and I was trying to impart something to the boy before I left the music school for good right after his lesson.
Back to you, Diane, this is your blog, right?, not mine? Is there not more time spent between those pages than in filling them? Is not the time spent not worthy of recording in the book the most important of all? I do find it difficult trying to embrace such nebulous things as uncertainty and waiting and simply not knowing what to do or having something “worthy” to focus on. But those things are such a huge portion of our lives. If the journey is so important then the rest stops along the way must come second, the destination/goal is almost always last in importance.
And I know how things end. It is said that every story must ultimately end in tragedy unless eventual death is some kind of joyous victory. That reminds me of an old song and I will end with this:
Everybody wants to make it
Nobody wants to try
Everybody wants to see heaven
Nobody wants to die.
ROLL YOUR EYES? did ya? lol. At lil’ ole’ me?
Love the last lines of your rhyme. Funny, you are so bringing up some memorable posts I had forgotten about! Long before anyone else had found my blog. Seeee I was telling you the truth… I initally started this blog for my own ramblings. Never did I think that more than a handful would ever see it. I am humbled that you are taking your time to read my words!