In life, we have mountain top highs and valley lows. We have anticipation of joyful events yet to come, planned and unplanned. And we have pain that hits so hard we feel sucker punched. We are blindsided by how much it hurts. In my lifetime I have had friends come and go. The going is sad for me. In most cases, it has been a move out of the area that takes those friendships away from my everyday life, and things get busy and you lose touch but remain friends. And yet others have totally been removed from this life through death, which as you get older seems to be a bit more frequent. And then there are the ones you choose to no longer have in your life for important reasons of your own. Though, I think that if I’ve ever made that choice, it was with very good reason because the more I experience how quickly we can be snatched from this life, the more I value the people I love. And the more willing I am to try to work things out. I am a talker. I like to talk things out. I like to gather information. I’ve been called a story-teller, (Heck I’m a writer.) I can tell and retell the same story a hundred times. (My poor husband has heard them all twice.) When I was younger, I imagined my life. I’d fall in love and have kids and be a writer. All so simple. In my head, I had it all planned out. But life is not like that. Crap happens and you are constantly in clean up mode.

baby in hands

We imagine our children, We hold our bellies and pray that we won’t mess up too much. We want to give them the world. We want their lives to be better than our own. I wrote a song when my son was two or three… the lyrics were…

Little boy in my arms,

 tiny and new~

Sleepy eyed

and unaware

 of what the world holds for you~

Lump of clay in my hands,

 still yet untouched~

Oh Lord, please guide me closely,

I love him so much!

Eyes so wide look at me…

 What do they see?

Do they see you Lord,

 looking back through me?

Such a gift

You gave to me!

Yet, I always knew…

That the day

would some day come Lord

When I’d give this precious child

 back to You!

In my heart, I strive to do what is right. I am a hard worker. I love my Lord, I love my family, I love my husband and I love my children and now grandchildren. I am a good and loyal friend, and if you happen to be mine, I will be there for you to the end. My daughter “GETS” me. She is my Jiminy Cricket, my sounding board. I love her but I really like her too. I love the friends she chooses and that she lives life with a love of it that is inspiring. She is my best friend.

If we ever have a misunderstanding, it is resolved that day, usually that hour! But funny, we enjoy each other more and more without those rare misunderstandings of her youth. I think we both have kind of grown up together and just appreciate each other too much to have them. But I do appreciate my parental boundaries and try to respect them, as they make their own journey. I love my son. I love his children. And I love both the girls that gave me grandchildren.

Though, I feel that my son and I totally misunderstand each other at every turn. I feel that he blames me for a divorce that he has no inkling of what really happened and probably never will because I will never talk poorly about the father of my children. He knows the basic reason we split up and I feel that is enough. I feel that he has his own issues with me that I don’t understand most of the time, but I’d like to.

Recently, I have talked to more moms than I can count who are not talking to one or more of their children for different reasons. A lot has to do with money. It hurts more than losing a friend, when we can’t make our kids understand our hearts. And yet, I won’t be silent anymore to just “keep the peace” Why should they be allowed to say anything they want to us, but if we are too honest, we are basically “hung up” on? Or “cut off.”  It astounds me how entitled our children are today. Not just regarding finances, but our personal business. I wouldn’t open up my adult children’s mail any more than I’d expect them to read my bank statement. I am tired of hearing the horrible things that adult children feel perfectly justified saying to their parents. But cut them off if they have a response. If this sounds like you, repeat after me….

I will not be held hostage.

I will continue to voice my opinions.

I will not walk on eggshells.

Nor will I butt into their affairs.

 Is it too much to ask for the same courtesy? We all want the best for our children and their lives. It is not a competition. It is just wanting the very best. I pray for us all. May our children see our hearts. May they GET where we are coming from and not guess. And may all of our relationships be restored. AMEN And if you are a kid who happens to be reading this…  it is not an accident that you are reading this right now. Go call your mom!  🙂

“I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth.”  (3 John 1:4)

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25 thoughts on “May Our Children REALLY SEE Our Hearts

  1. Di you are such a beautiful soul. You speak from the heart and in wisdom. Yes we are so very alike in our thoughts. I am wishing you peace my friend because once again I am sensing angst. You are an amazing writer. When you finish writing Keri’s Journal, your next book should be nonfiction writings, essays from the heart, about the things you write about here on your blog. Do you even know your worth?
    Your loving friend,
    Deb xoxo ❤

    1. Ahhh Debbie,
      YOU are such a blessing. I am blessed that you are in my life. You are an amazing Encourager. I was telling Theresa that perhaps I would ask you and her to read my book. Not edit it… but just read it as time permits. No rush. Just to tell me if parts are choppy or confusing or if certain words are used too much. I am not going to ask a lot of people but ones I know would tell me the truth. Anyway, I know you are busy with your own work, so feel free to tell me. But you and Theresa who have followed me through the whole process came to mind first.
      I am so excited to buy your next book. Let me know when it is available. Hey and did you see all the 5 star reviews your book has received? So proud of ya!
      xoxo
      di

      1. And who is the encourager here? Lol. You are sweet as always. Email me about when you want me to look at your book! And ps. my new book came out almost 2 weeks ago! 🙂

        1. Thank you I will. I was trying to put it in draft form on my blog and it accidentally published. Funny, before I could pull it off… I got a LIKE. That kind of bummed me out cuz some people are evidentally just LIKING and not reading. (big surprise lol) It’s like right, you seriously read 200 pages in ten seconds. Gee thanks. LOL.

          PLEASE send me the link to your book so I can go buy it! How did I miss it? I have bought two. This is three? You are going to send it and I am going to goooo ooooh yeah…. but I am running out the door right now and can’t sit here a minute longer. So will have to check it out when I get home.
          xoxo
          di

            1. So this may be why I didn’t find it…. I think I remember getting the same message trying to find it before. Now it makes sense. I got the below message and thought it wasn not ready yet…..
              THIS is what I get when I click the link:

              Looking for something?
              We’re sorry. The Web address you entered is not a functioning page on our site

              Go to Amazon.com’s Home Page

  2. Simply beautiful. Children are an extension if our love towards each other, just as Mary had Jesus and shared him with us all. Change comes to us all, it is how we except that change that shapes us into who we are. Great read my friend and thanks for reading my posts as well.

  3. Sometimes it just hurts so much… I know. Even now when there is some healing taking place in our lives, there are still some issues, and I wonder and even said to my husband the other day, ‘when is it my turn to be loved totally unconditionally, and maybe they put aside some of the things that still cause me heartache, just to give me peace of mind. I don’t know Diane.. I just don’t know. I guess we just keep praying… Diane

    1. Diane,
      Your advice is perfect. We do need that reminder to keep praying. I have tried to talk myself into just being hurt and mad and feeling like “forget it” but luckily, I have the greatest husband that still continues to be the bigger person and reach out when I forget to even pray, I am so hurt. Maybe it’s a pride thing. I am just tired of it all. But you are right. Pray! Love doesn’t even notice when it’s done wrong. I just don’t know how two kids can be so different.
      Thanks for reading and the reminder!
      xoxo
      Di

      1. I agree how 2 or more children raised in the same home with same challenges and upbringing, can be so very different…. Perspective I guess is everything… I will pray for you Diane because I know that’s the only thing that got me through the most critical time… others praying ! There is ‘hope’ Diane

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