This post may seem as if I am kind of puffing myself up. But for the first time in a long time, I am! I need to! If you are reading this and feel stuck or under valued wherever you are today, I hope it will empower you to take a look at your own life and make some changes.
Today, is the last day of my two-week notice. It is funny, over the decade that I worked ‘there’, even the “cream of the crop” or what was thought of as the cream of the crop employee, didn’t ride the whole two weeks out. I am not looking forward to today as such. At 9AM we have a tourist bus arriving. Though I am scheduled at 9 and my final pay has been previously calculated and a check of everything owed to me has already (hopefully) been cut, I intend to arrive early to help a new employee deal with everything. (I smile as I write, knowing that I will never have to ever do this particular task ever again.) And make this an exceptional experience for the group and their guide. Ugh!
My best friend who has ridden the ride with me for the last ten years, and who has heard all the stories from afar (she lives out-of-town) texted me this morning and said: Hi Diane, TODAY is a day of celebrating your freedom. 1 last day of being under appreciated and under paid. Tonight, you need to celebrate your freedom from the chains that kept you tied down. This is a fresh start for you which is exciting. A new chapter in the book of Diane. Can’t wait to hear about it. I love her. She has been my sounding board over the last decade. Having had much success for many years in the Corporate world, she has practically climbed through the phone in anger as I shared my experiences with her. Our emails could actually, be made into a book!
In leaving, I have two weeks of sick pay that I won’t be taking with me. Over the years, I never called in sick. I’ve come to work and been sent home because no one wanted to catch something! But at least, they knew that I really was sick. I’ve used a day here or a day there, to go to a funeral or tend to a sick family member but most of what I’ve used was pre-planned and not just calling in and making people scramble to cover my shift, which is the way most people work now days.
Since I’ve given notice, I’ve been approached by colleagues telling me that they will miss me but are happy that I’ve finally seen the light. I’ve worked years with some of them and we are like a family. But they understand and are happy for me that I am finally moving on. How could I not see what others so clearly did? My best friend, my family, close friends and coworkers all saw it. Now, all I can think is…. I was TEN years younger ten years ago! And yet, maybe I really can take something more valuable with me that has taken me a decade to grasp. I AM valuable and the next door I go through will gleam my value and benefit from the lessons I have learned here. If I can really believe that and find my voice again, well then I guess that it wasn’t a complete waste.
So TODAY really is the first day of the rest of my life. Even if it is ten years later. As I close one door and cautiously open another! Never to make the exact same mistakes ever again. I know now, that I give 110% wherever I go. Though for a long time, I felt unappreciated and almost as if my value was raped from me. Though recently, as my co-workers privately have approached me with tears in their eyes telling me how appreciated I really am. I feel validated. I guess, I kind of lost knowing that. I think that I’ve been very depressed for a long time without recognizing it.
In a huge way, I think my friends here… the ones who come and faithfully read my ramblings, who pray for me and give me advice and share with me their own journey, have given me the best gift of all. The validation and confidence to stare right back at me and really see me for the first time. And for that I thank you all! You know who you are, and I love you!
My next adventure WILL be different! If anything, I have earned an MBA and have graduated with honors at how not to stay stuck! I take some valuable lessons with me. The biggest one is to never lose myself ever again. To stay true to me! Stay tuned for the next Chapter of Diane!
Brand New Mirror
Standing in front of the mirror, I saw a stranger looking back.
Though faintly familiar, she was lost behind the broken glass.
Inside a world of old crushed dreams, I really didn’t look to see,
that the one staring through the cracks was who I used to be.
For a long time my world was broken, though I longed for a better view.
Until I finally received a gift… A brand new mirror from you!
Diane Reed
2014
The One Thing I know For Sure 
I hope this new job will be a rewarding one. It is inspiring to see someone like you pursuing your dreams. It is hard for me to start something new.
Hugs and Blessings,
Theresa
Thank you Theresa! How was your Thanksgiving? Mine was great! Everyone came! 🙂
I am so glad your Thanksgiving was like that!
There were certain aspects of that day that meant a lot to me, and I am thankful for that.
Love and Blessings,
Theresa
Your prayers were heard. Thank you, my friend. I think that I am learning that I don’t need to have every one of my thoughts validated. I don’t even need to be right all the time.
In so many ways you remind me of myself just 4-5 years ago or even longer. Why did I need to almost die from congestive heart failure to finally get the recognition from my supervisors and fellow employees? I was out more than 6 weeks when complication set in. My urethra collapsed causing me to have a medical procedure called a turp, or bypass. I almost died from that complication too. My foreman kept calling me in my recovery bed asking when I was to return to work. I could write a book about those two months of my life.
I’ve been retired now for 4 years and have never wanted to return, no matter how poor I am. The freedom from stress, deadlines and impossible expectations of managers almost cost me my life. No amount of money is worth that.
I pray that you can take a big deep breath and smile as you start an exciting new chapter in your life. God speed!
Wow Bob!
You SHOULD write a book about it! I think a lot of people don’t realize the ticket that they are buying when they stay somewhere that is clearly not good for them. You have quite a testimony that should be shouted from the mountain tops.
I can’t even begin to describe the joy I feel today. I thought that after ten years. I would feel something more. But I am just grateful that I got out with my life and so did you! All we can do, is share our message. Thank you for sharing yours! You give me hope!
xoxo
di
I only mentioned a small portion of my story. I was rushed to a local trauma center with the heart failure. 8 hours later a train derailed and a chlorine tanker burst open killing 10 and injuring hundreds. Had I been home I’d have died due to my trouble breathing. God snatched me from sure disaster and saved me. It’s too wild to believe or to make a movie about. Who would believe it? Check it out at the link attached.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Graniteville,_South_Carolina,_train_crash
Bob! Wow. I believe that! My daughter asked to wait in the car where a roof slid down on it, during the San Simeon earthquake http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2003_San_Simeon_earthquake
And I coaxed her to come in and open our store. She too would not be here, if she hadn’t followed me into the store that day. AND then her dad called her across the street to his office and she was safe in the middle of the street when everything happened. WITH HIS Angles surrounding her, I am sure!
xoxo
Ah, Di, opening of chapter 2… a new adventure. Embrace it with the idea that mistakes are only tools to learn with…, and some mistakes are too much fun not to make again (periodically). Time now to take a deep breath and enjoy the fragrance of the fresh air entering your life. I have no fears for you. You’ll be successful at anything you attempt. You have that kind of spirit, my friend. Love to you and just take the future being the person you are. That’s good enough for anybody !!! xo
Paul,
I read your comment out loud. What a wonderful message you sent me! Thank you!!!
xoxo
Congratulations – I can totally relate to this post! When the time is right, you know it and it sounds like your season there was truly over and it is time for another to begin. Keep us posted!
Tina,
Thank you so much for reading! I am glad you can relate, (that is always validating for a writer) BUT… I hope it is from the other side of the glass, and you are not unappreciated, but being appreciated! 😉
It is surprising how long we are willing to wait for something to change, and for somebody else to make that change. When all along, we were the ones who had the key! As I talked about in my previous post!
Thank you for letting me know you related with me. It means a lot!
xoxo
Just checking in.
I did my time! As Natalie said! LOL. And I survived. I got my final pay so I don’t have to go back. I closed the door. I got lots of hugs and even customers telling me that they already missed my botique. (After the earthquake crunched my little gift shop in 2003) I ended up working at the spa and eventually creating a gift shop for them, where they got a certain percent $$ of the sales, and I got the remainder. It is probably going to be the one thing that I miss most. Besides the people, of course. And sometimes, in spite of the people! 😉
I brought in some pretty decent money for them, purchased the items, priced and displayed them, kept their shelves stocked and dusted. Though the last couple of months, I slowed down on the wholesale buying and the shelves were looking pretty bare. And believe me, when I removed all the items a few days ago, it was hard not to just leave them all BARE! But I took some of the garlands and wine bottles and a glass vase filled with corks and tried to not just leave holes… though it was tempting! Today as I was leaving, a good customer told me she already missed the shopping she used to do in my little shop there. Though it was fun while it was lasted. It was a lot of work. And I am not looking back!
xoxo
You go girl! Embrace your new adventures and your new life have a ball. You’ve earned it. You deserve it! And most importantly you “done done your time” elsewhere. Hugs, N ❤
Natalie,
LOL. I can almost imagine you saying how I’ve done my time! You are too cute! But sooo right! Love it!
xoxo Thank you!!!!
As hard as it’s been working for those 10 years, at least by others coming to you.. there was some validation that you aren’t wrong to be leaving…. There are likely others that would like to, but just can’t…. Only good things for you in the future for sure… Diane
Diane,
Thank you!!!! I am praying for a new beginning. You are right the validation carries me! I am all about affirmation. Sometimes I wish I wasn’t, but it matters to me. And that was a big reason that I chose to close that door. Being under appreciated sucks! 😉
xoxo
Keep looking in that mirror my friend! Brava to you. Cheers to you (as she clinks the glasses) and welcome to the rest of your wonderful life. ❤
Debbie,
Thank you sooo much! I’ll take that toast and second it! *clink * clink! 🙂
xoxo
❤
Bravo, Diane. I’m so happy for you in breaking free to launch out on new adventures. I remember leaving the corporate world back in 2012 with mixed emotions. Though, it wasn’t by choice. My job had been outsourced and, unlike you, I probably would have still been there and not have had the courage to take the leap.
I love your poem. It speaks volumes of what you must be feeling in your heart. It reminds me of another poem I heard of long ago called, “The Man in the Glass” (http://www.webtree.ca/inspiration/themanintheglass.html).
God bless and wishing you much happiness and success on this new road. Hugs. 🙂
(((((Pat))))) <<<< HUGS!
What a great poem! I am going to definitely have to book mark that one! Thank you for sharing!
Yeah, I am not sure how brave I am. LOL. But thank you for thinking so. I just figure that in ten more years, I will be ten years older and I know I don't want to be there in ten years. Bottom line is the bottom line and I just can't imagine being too scared to close a door that has outlived it's time long ago.
Thank you for your wonderful post! It means a lot!
xoxo
I know what you mean, Diane, as you get older the time you have left gets more precious. Now, that I am 10 years older, like you say, I’m still trying to find my way. Guess, that’s what it’s all about!
Happy Sunday. 🙂
Go for it Diane and have fun !!!!!!!! xox ❤
Ahhh Ralph,
It always warms my heart to see your face! Always the encourager! Thank you!
xoxo
Here’s to the new chapter. Brava, Diane!
Marian! Thank you! I am ready for another chapter! Been a long time coming!
xoxo
Geeesh Diane! That brought tear to my eyes. You find that brand new you, and shout it out to the world! You really touched my heart thank you for praying for me! I woke up this morning this old house is cold the heater runs full time in the winter and it never get warm. I thought about going to work but its -47 with wind chill and Im tired of the pain. I need a warm climate, but where and how do I get there ? I have prayed until I think God probably doesn’t really care all that much, the more I remember of my shattered life the more I hurt deep inside and beg him to know why; “Didn’t I pray beg and ask for so many years Lord?” And still I have this handicap and still I wake up at night almost shouting “No, no, no no!” But what?
I pray God blesses you so sweetly and that you find a Great Big Door with a wonderful future Diane.
P.S. If you read my post from yesterday the 28th you’ll get a glimpse of my struggle.
hubertsbest@wordpress.com
Y/T Hubert
Hubert,
Continuing to pray for you. I feel whatever we are in. God can use us. For me, I think the emotional pain has been the kind of pain I understand. I was so upset when our marriage counselor suggested that I was clinically depressed. My first response was… Ya think?! Listen to my circumstances and my story might make you a little depressed. And yet, I KNOW God has a plan! And THAT is the only thing, somedays that keeps me getting up and living life.
I don’t understand the physical pain as much, but I do know that it can STOP you in your tracks. I used to work as a Psych Aide and we had several patients that belonged to pain clinics and I know it is a real thing that many people live with. The older I get, I sometimes can barely move after a busy day. But I know that is not the kind of pain you are dealing with so don’t want to minimize it. But I am praying that God heals you and uses your story. Though…. you do know you have one right where you are this very minute. Right? There are other people out there that need to know your heart. You are a great writer. Lets encourage one another to become unstuck!
You are in my prayers!
xoxo
Diane I really want to thank you. You are right about each of us having a story, and a purpose, I guess I just don’t get it, you’d think I should by now but I keep going through all the same stuff like a broken record and Hope some day that I will be rescued … Huh sometimes deep in my heart of hearts I feel like God says, “Yeah you are healed! And Saved! And this is your rescue!” Could that be true? About my writing You know I have been sick most of my life, and I could not read more than a verse or two when I first began to seek the Lord, and what I could read, I couldn’t understand. And what I could understand I couldn’t remember. Still today I have almost no short term memory and thats a huge problem, I fully live on habit, and the things I’ve done for years, which is kind of heartbreaking, because I can’t plan and I can’t seem to move ahead. Maybe by Gods grace some day right? Nonetheless about my writing, I write what I see and I have to write it as fast as I see it or its gone and I can’t remember what I saw, it used to make me frantic, but I’d laugh at myself when I missed it because I’ve always been to good at condemning myself and thats a bad thing to get into, its self sabotage. I learned that from my childhood, I believed what I received from family and others until it became me. I used to love writing, Maybe I should start again huh?
Thank you so much for caring, and for praying for me.
Hubert,
YOU ARE an amazing writer! Write! It is your calling. It is something you do great! I am truly blessed!
No matter what we are dealt in life. The devil can’t steal what God has ordained! You have a gift!!!! Use it!!!
I have always said that everyone has a message. And even the worse circumstances can ream something redeeming through the lessons it brings. God really has blessed you with something special!
xoxo
Wow, Diane thanks again would you mind telling me that every day for a week? I haven’t written anything new for months now. I just gave up all hope of my life ever getting better, and I decided the my gift was useless because I wasn’t going anywhere after so many years. again I guess God told me that It didn’t have to! and maybe it was for some other ‘generation’ so to speak. My most unbearable problem is complete loneliness Diane, that is worse than all the pain of my disease, all the depression, and the wringer washer effect Fibro has on my mind and soul. Being alone like one of my posts “Do you believe” being alone is the hardest. Maybe thats a writes blessing, but I don’t find it a blessing after 12 years. None the less By God’s grace i will write again. Again thank you so much!!
Hugs
Hubert
Hubert,
All I know is I do my best writing when I am in pain or in trouble. I remember when I was going through my divorce. It was like a death. Probably one of the worst things I’d ever experienced in my life. I drove up to my mom’s with my kids and couldn’t sleep so got up and heard a testimony about this woman who said she’d lost everything, her job, her family, her marriage, and was living in a 12X12 ft. room but had never felt so much joy and peace because it made her refocus and trust in God. Even though my life was falling totally apart at the time, that testimony gave me comfort and made me refocus. Ya know?
I wrote a lot of pretty good poetry during that time. 😉
None of us likes to feel alone. Deep down inside we all want to feel loved.
But the best love and healing is through Jesus. I know you know that because I’ve read your wonderful writing!
Hang in there my friend.
xoxo
Psalm 147:3
Thank you Diane, He heals the Broken hearted, binding up their wounds it is good to bless his Holy Name….
Its -24 here this morning and I feeling so gross, I don’t know what to do.
But I hear what you are saying
When I was first separated from my family 12 years ago now I once or twice found myself on my hands and knees on the floor begging God not to let me go crazy, the pain of Fibro was bad, but the mental / emotional, torment of losing everything was horrible. I guess its …
I don’t know what to say just God Have mercy I need help.
Diane the person you are today is in part because of the trials of the last ten years. You are the woman you deserve to be! Congratulation my friend!
THAT was JUST what I needed to hear! I am going to write that one down, memorize, and embrace it! Thank you so much!!!!
xoxo
Yay, you! Congratulations and best wishes to you on this sweet, sweet journey you are on!
I am excited! Thank you! I appreciate the support!!!!
xoxo
YIPPEE! Diane, The bells are ringing with joy, the trumpets blowing with pride, and now you can march to your own drums which are beating a path for you 🙂 I know exactly how you feel as I had that very same experience in the corporate work for many years. I was blessed to work in a great place as a contract employee for 16 months before I put my house up for sale last year, which sold pretty quickly and I was finally able to move to Greenville. The greatest gift I received from working with that company was how they showed their appreciation for me as an employee and as a person. I am praying to find a similar work culture here in a part time job…soon I hope 🙂
I look forward to hearing about your new journey, wherever it leads you.
Love and blessings,
Thank you Ann!
I take your cheer and appreciate all of it! My job actually was a good job. Though it was a lot of work, I think that I did a good job. The people I worked with were great! OMG, it’s only been a few hours since I punched my last time clock – (metaphorically speaking) and it is weird to use past tense in reference to it. But the little man behind the curtain (again metaphorically speaking) kept pulling those levers and I didn’t have a lot of choice in the end. Ahhh to be appreciated will be nice. I do pray that my new job has a few more perks in regard to appreciation. Just an “atta boy” every so often would have been enough.
😉
Blessings to you as you seek a new postion! They will have a gem in you whoever is blessed enough to hire you!
Yes a little thank you, or atta boy now and then makes a difference. Just a little show of appreciation goes a long way. I pray your next job is God’s best for you.
Thanks for your compliment and best wishes for me in my search.
I’m so excited for you and your new adventure and chapter in your life!
Kate,
Thank you sooo much! That means a LOT!
Oops. Just read your previous post where you mention starting a new job. My bad. I’ve not been keeping up!
Wow. Leaving a job after 10 years is a big deal. What I’m wondering is where you are moving toward, or if you need to end one thing before really thinking about the next move. Or is there a next move? I’ve been enjoying just living one day at a time and not pressuring myself about posting blogs and just handling each day and the little challenges that come up. What are you going to do?
Hey Jim!
Good to see you! I have often wondered how you are doing and was hoping you were just busy! Yeah. I am moving on. Finally. The writing was on the wall for me as to how far I could go there and well, it’s not rocket science when your eyes finally are opened by something so obvious that you wonder how it took you so long to see the light. If nothing else, it has given me material for a few good posts. 😉