baby in hands

“Do I contradict myself? Very well, then I contradict myself, (I am large, I contain multitudes.)” Those were words written by Walt Whitman. I read them in one of my literary magazines that I recieve monthly, and it really spoke to me. Recently, I have become more comfortable in my own skin. I may not have understood that sentence a decade ago, but now it sings to me. I am who I am and I am okay.

I think that I have always liked writing because I have a chance to backspace and delete. When I am out there on my own answering questions and making comments, I am not always as funny and as insightful. My words don’t run as smoothly as the ones I write and get to read and then decide if I want to keep them on paper or suck them back with the click of a key. You can’t do that once you “speak” the words that you say, they are just plain out there, no sucking back allowed.

In a weird way, I feel the writer part of me is the real me, like washing your face at the end of the day, the core me is beneath the layers that I rinse away,Β the words I speak are not always from my soul like the ones that rise up in me that cause me to stop and sit and share even after I’ve worked a 10 hour day and have to turn around and do it all again. It is that part of me that finds that being rich is in the million words still inside of my soul that are there for the taking or the giving.

“Do I contradict myself? Very well then, I contradict myself.” It is all so simple and yet wildly powerful in the accepting of ourselves. In a way it is like being born again when you finally reach that place where you are comfortable in your own skin.

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23 thoughts on “in my own skin

  1. Hmmmph ! Life itself is a contradiction, Di. You are born, and the only thing that is mandatory about life is that you will die. How’s thatf or an encouraging thought ??? You’ll have to excuse me…, my mind is not my own today. πŸ™‚ hugz 1

  2. Your beautiful soul and your humour comes out in all your words Di – or maybe I just read between the lines? I have watched you evolve. I can sense your butterfly wings emerging. xo ❀

  3. What a wonderful post! This just blesses me so much! I really identify with this part:

    ” In a weird way, I feel the writer part of me is the real me, like washing your face at the end of the day, the core me is beneath the layers that I rinse away, the words I speak are not always from my soul like the ones that rise up in me that cause me to stop and sit and share even after I’ve worked a 10 hour day and have to turn around and do it all again. It is that part of me that finds that being rich is in the million words still inside of my soul that are there for the taking or the giving”

    This part below meant a lot, too, because who on this planet is entirely steadfast and consistent?

    ” ‘Do I contradict myself? Very well then, I contradict myself.’ It is all so simple and yet wildly powerful in the accepting of ourselves. In a way it is like being born again when you finally reach that place where you are comfortable in your own skin.”

    I identify with that, too. I am still not entirely comfortable with my own skin, but I want to be that way. You are such an encouraging person. Your words help others to find courage to grow.

    Hugs and Blessings,
    Theresa

    1. Theresa,
      YOU my dear are amazing. I go through your words when I really need to connect with God! Which who doesn’t need that ALL the time?
      You make me want to be better! I love how we interwine and hold each other up! Our friendship is like a gift to me!

  4. Agreed, the writer sets her own pace, the speaker must live on the leading edge of the now. One thing I learned and should share… When speaking take pauses to collect thoughts, instead of interjecting with ahs and ums. Take a breath when answering any inquiry … Pauses add drama, just as backspaces do! πŸ™‚

  5. Love your post — and love what Seb wrote.

    I am constantly working on being as authentic in spoken words as I am in written — to allow the true me to be reflected in everything I saw. As everyone says, so challenging sometimes when tiredness, or any host of emotions, including fear, inhibit my access to my soulful nature!

    Hugs Di — so glad you are writing more! πŸ™‚

    1. Thank you Louise for saying that! I love how you have evolved from where you once came! You are my hero. So authentic! I love when people really love who they are. You already know. I am just getting a glimpse. It is scary and empowering and I am constantly contradicting who I know I am like a magnet. I could be so useful to me but I fight it every step of the way. When I find people like you, I absorb every drop of wisdom I can find!
      xoxo

  6. I can relate so much to what you are saying. Whilst I’m not always comfy in my own skin, I do feel the same way about writing. Whether it be a blog post, a sermon, journal entry a letter or email- what comes out on paper feels like the truest me. I have to work hard when I communicate verbally, but tiredness, moods, lack of ability to think on my feet, all make me so much more ineloquent when I open my mouth. The more comfortable I feel in the company I’m in though, the more eloquent I become.

  7. Hegel contends that the historical evolutionary process is determined by the resolution of opposites, which would indicate that contradiction is the fuel by which we move forward.

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