turquoise mixer

When I was a little girl my mom would sit me on the counter and let me bake with her, she would give me a cup of flour or sugar and let me carefully add it to the bowl. Sometimes, she’d give me my own bowl and let me concoct my own mixture. Of course it was never edible, but those are some of my favorite memories. Growing older is kind of like that. When you are younger, you don’t know how to read the recipes and so the outcome may not be the cake that rises correctly like your mom’s. But as years go by, you learn and by trial and error you hopefully (for your family’s sake) learn how to make a decent finished product.

When I helped to re-open a restaurant that we tried to salvage several years ago, I was training some kids working for us. The order was a hamburger and a hotdog. The young man working, put the hamburger and the hotdog on the grill to cook at the same time. I asked him, “What do you think is wrong with this picture?” He stared at the grill and couldn’t figure it out. So I said, “Think about the end result.” I could see the light bulb go off in his head and he answered. “Oh, the hotdog will finish first and will get cold before the hamburger is done.” Ding ding A+! It was not only a learning moment for him, but it made me realize that it is rewarding to help someone learn and see the light in their eyes when they figure it out.


Several months ago, I had a good friend at work approach me to complain about one of her co-workers who was brand spanking new. Not only was she young enough to be her own kid, she was fresh out of massage school. My friend had been out of school and doing AMAZING massages for well over a decade. I tried to share with her my hotdog hamburger story and she didn’t get it. So then I said, “think of it like this, You and I can serve Thanksgiving dinner to a large group of people, and by now, hopefully we have for the most part, figured out how to serve everything hot.” She nodded and I continued, “Soooo think of this girl, as if you are helping to teach her to serve her first Thanksgiving dinner, and take her under your wing and teach her how to serve it the same way you do.” I didn’t see the light in her eyes or that she fully understood me, but she graciously told me she’d try.

family dinner

A few weeks later, my friend and that young girl stood with me as they waited for their next clients. And in front of my friend, that young girl gushed about how she (my friend who’d complained weeks earlier about this girl) was the most helpful teacher and how much she loved working with her! Later, I got a text from my friend saying: “I love your Thanksgiving Dinner scenario!”


My point is, that we need to realize where everyone is coming from. If someone needs mentoring, instead of gossiping and complaining about them, why not metaphorically speaking, teach them to throw the best dinner party ever? No one was perfect at their first job. Someone had to teach you. I’d rather be remembered as the one who taught many rather than discouraged even one.


I know that after ten years of working at the same place, and now after recently changing jobs, I’ve had to learn new things and am so grateful for my recent teachers and the ones along the way. But I am also learning that age is not such a bad thing, because we gather knowledge along the way and carry it with us as we go. Hopefully causing us to be better leaders and have compassion just remembering how we felt when we were younger. To not make someone feel bad about themselves but to help give them wings for their next step up. For how much better would it be to know you are remembered as a teacher rather than a bully? To remind those that they are smart and kind and important, a message that starts by letting someone add a cup of flour and then a cup of sugar, and slowly bake their own cakes someday.

45 thoughts on “You Is smart, you is kind and you is important

  1. That was just beautiful!!! The Thanksgiving dinner scenario hit home and I have applied that to my life and it has taken a great sense of shutting my mouth and waiting for Wonderful things to happen. If my mouth opened, it could have been disastrous for someone!! I thank you for your wonderful friendship ! I’m sorry I don’t get to see you hardly at all. We need to plan a lunch date soon. Your writing is magic!! Thank you my Fine Friend. ❤️🌷 I Love You 💜🌺

  2. Diane , you are so right . In my life, what I would have given for a mentor . I have always considered that I am a slow learner, but in later life I have realized, that because I have zero confidence , I learn differently.
    I am a little late with the post I hope you get this .

  3. Memories are special and unique to each of us as we grow older, teaching others from those memories warm our hearts and make us feel special inside, those that gossip and make fun of just need to simply feel that warmth instead of being cold throughout.

  4. Oh I love everything about this post! To be the one who teaches and not Scourge’s is such an inspiration to me. Love the Thanksgiving dinner metaphor and I assure you that you are always teaching me something!

  5. Love this post full of inspiration and sharing kindness as is typical for you. Everyone has to start somewhere and people need to be reminded. And great title! xo ❤

      1. Thanks sweet friend. Pics? Lol, hmm, not sure if I will post that, it’s our rented condo now, so we are free to travel, that is if the Canadian dollar stops tanking. 🙂

  6. So very true Diane. Many of us learned to be compassionate teachers because we had the experience of having someone who was not… to us. We have the choice to mimic what was done to us or to say… no… and do the opposite. The second choice being the one that give us joy and to help someone else… Diane

  7. What an inspiring post. I remember when I was working as a nurse in the eighties, there was a sad saying that, “Nurses eat their young.” It was true to a large extent. but even though I hadn’t worked at a hospital for long, I had some knowledge that they did not necessarily have, so I would teach them. That turned them around. Soon I started to fit right in.

    1. Marian,
      So glad! Thank you! Yeah they say it a couple ways You is Kind, you is Smart and You is Important and then You is Smart, You is Kind, You is important… so not sure which one is correct, but you get the point. LOL.
      That part always makes me cry and see how important it is to plant seeds and if we get to be the person having a part in planting, what a great gift!
      Thanks for reading my friend!

    1. Ahhh Theresa!!!! Hugs!!!
      I have been such a bad friend!! How are you? I got this new job and I am totally invested in it! I am so happy finally. I didn’t realize just HOW unhappy I really was, where I was. I miss my friends there but I don’t miss the chain of command… or the way I was feeling there. And can’t believe I waited so long to get unstuck! I don’t want to sound like a broken record and stay stuck in remembering how unhappy I was… but I just wanted to explain why I have been focused more on my new job and getting adjusted. I am thinking every minute and just getting situated. But finally in my own element. I love my boss, the job it’s self and the people! Don’t pinch me, I don’t want to wake up. LOL.
      But I have missed writing. It’s my day off today so I came on to do some research for work and decided to write something here and so glad to touch base with ya!

      1. You are good friend…a friend worth having! I am so happy for you!

        I have been stuck, too, but recently have started to become unstuck, too. I chose a word for the year. My word for this year is “replenish”. I am excited about all of those intangible things that are starting to be replenished.

        Hugs and Blessings,

  8. You nailed this, Diane. I love it. It is important to remember where people are coming from and try to find ways we can teach that has value and makes them feel good in the process. (Should have you for a teacher — I still don’t know how to prepare Thanksgiving dinner for a lot of people.) 🙂

      1. Yep, Diane. I can see that. Never owned a warming tray. Maybe, that’s been my problem. Haha — in any event, it all seems chaotic and never a good thing when the host is freakin’ out. Guess, you could say I could use some lessons on entertaining.

        1. You my friend entertain me all the time! LOL.
          The trick is double ovens… which I don’t have! We set up card tables with tablecloths at our house and get some extension cords and plug in a lot of warming trays. I used to have to borrow them but over the years have my own now! Stuffing and potatoes and veggies and rolls and gravy are great on warming trays or crock pots! Don’t know how they used to do it without all those gadgets! lol.

          1. It certainly takes skill, Diane, and equipment. My girls tell me it’s in the art of pot lucking. Tried some of that this Christmas but still seemed wild with a single oven and small surroundings.

            Who would have thought this house once held hubby and I and the 2 girls and then add grandkids and spouses. Whew! Loved every minute of it and it was fun and the food was good — just a bit chaotic.

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